Hate lingers inside his heart
by Ayokaya
Summary: "Izaya nearly broke the phone when the awful scream bashed his skull, leaving him in speechless terror." Izaya's sisters are kidnapped. What will he do to save them? And what has the secret kept inside his family to do with it? Later Shizaya
1. Chapter 1

**My new story. Supernatural stuff WILL happen.**

 **Hope you enjoy reading!**

* * *

Hate lingers inside his heart

Chapter 1

It were the first lights of sun coming through his bedroom windows that woke Izaya up. The warm and bright sunbeams came through his eyelids and just at that very moment he noticed that he was awake. His mind came back to reality from whatever dreams he just had had. He couldn't remember. But his body was light, his mind at peace and he couldn't oppress the feeling, that he just had had a great dream and that this day was going to be a good one.

Slowly he stretched his arms in the air opening his eyes slightly. A small smile appeared on the Informant's face. He had worked long yesterday, but now his body felt new and refreshed. When his eyes were fully opened, he sat up in bed looking out of the window. The sun was indeed beaming in a beautiful blue sky.

 _What a perfect day to go out and observe some of my lovely humans._ He chuckled.

With one swift movement he threw his red blankets back and left the bed for the shower.

The clothes he would wear today, were already lying on a chair in the bathroom. He had already positioned them there the day before, because Izaya didn't like to waste time in the morning for natural stuff like that.

Having stripped off his pajama, the raven turned on the hot water. He took his time under the shower putting some shampoo on his hair and cleaning his body.

He loved the refreshing feeling of water on his skin in the morning and he didn't even notice that he started to sing happily all of a sudden. However, he didn't really care. Nobody would hear him anyway. This loneliness in the morning while being able to do whatever he wanted was one of the great luxuries coming from living alone. Izaya loved it.

He changed between humming a melody, than again singing a song he once heard in the radio perfectly matching his current mood.

"It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling ~" he started not even knowing how the song was called.

Between the lines there were parts he didn't know the words anymore. That's why he just warbled the melody on until he knew exactly how the song continued.

"It's a beautiful day

the sun is out

the music's playing~"

Izaya just kept singing. Though he didn't know how it sounded without the sound of the rushing water above it. He bet it sounded awful, that he wasn't even striking the right tones at all. Whatever- he didn't care.

When he noticed that the hot water was making his skin become wrinkled, he decided to stop showering. Still he continued singing, while stepping out and drying his body with a towel.

"And even if it started raining

you won't hear this boy complaining~"

His hair was still wet, when he stepped totally clothed out of the bathroom and went into the kitchen. He rubbed his hair one last time with the towel around his head, before he put it on the kitchen bar.

Rummaging around his drawers he continued warbling the melody. After a while he took out some cutlery and put it next to the towel.

After that the raven took a look into his fridge wondering what he wanted to eat for breakfast. He wasn't really hungry yet, but he didn't want to start working without eating before either.

At last he decided to eat the rest of the miso-soup that was left from the day before. It was warmed up in the microwave, before he took a seat on the couch.

Happily smiling he just shoved one spoon after another into his mouth. Small driblets of water were running along his face or falling down on his shoulders. He didn't bother. The sun was shining directly at his face and heated it in such a lovely manner.

When he finished his soup he went back to the kitchen placing the bowl in the sink. Slowly he continued doing the dishes.

 _Isn't this day lovely?_

It was still so early, and he didn't have to rush anything. He wouldn't have to rush anyway because of being self-employed. The only one who could go on his nerves, would be Namie. But this women had always had a bad temper, so he started to ignore her opinion (and her regular outbursts) anyway.

 _No need to rush if my beloved humans are still lying in their beds peacefully dreaming._ Smoothly he sat down on the couch again putting out one of his cell phones.

"Now, let's see how I can destroy that peace today~" A malicious smile widened on his face, while he searched through the chat messages.

It seemed nothing unpredicted had happened during the time he had slept. The fact was giving him the certainty, that everything that happened in this city was indeed lying in his very own hands, but he still was a bit disappointed about the fact.

It was connected to a boredom that he wasn't really happy about. He liked the uniqueness and unpredictability of this city and it had always made him utterly happy, when something unplanned happened (as long as he was still able to solve the problem). It was a shame that it had been so boring lately.

However, as soon as he started to pull some strings again, there would definitely come someone and interrupt his little games - making them of course more thrilling than they already were.

Most probably this was going to be Mikado, Celty, Simon - or _Shizu-chan_.

This man and his inhuman strength were really the highlight of his every day. The monster should destroy even more on the way to hell! Until one day he would just die from his inhumanity! Or one brave guy would just finish him off and reach divinity by it.

Izaya just couldn't wait to kill this unpredictable monster with his very own hands.

 _I really want to slide my switch blade into that handsome face~_

"Ah ha ha ha ha!" He started laughing hysterically.

He should rather destroy the man from the inside! Maybe turning everyone against him- Let everybody hate him -or getting him arrested again. That would be even more fun!

 _Ah, I can't wait! I can't wait! Why don't you die already, Shizu-chan!_ he giggled even more.

But his devilish laughter vanished when the phone in his hand suddenly began vibrating.

Izaya eyed the screen suspiciously. Withheld number. Really? He hated stuff like that. It was still early and he wasn't in the mood for some desperate client now. A client, who even dared to suppress his number.

Angrily he accepted the call.

Without letting the one at the other end have the chance to say anything, he snapped: "I will tell you one little thing, dear friend. Izaya Orihara is definitely not one of those guys, that you can call that early in the morning without even showing your fucking number. You should be glad, that he was still friendly enough to accept your anonymous call to tell you, that you can come personally to his office if you want to get his help. Then he will gladly solve your problems. Until then: have a nice day~"

And with that he ended the call.

Izaya sighed. His mood had been so good and now some inexperienced Neanderthal man had to destroy everything. God, some people really had no common sense at all.

Just at the moment that he decided to stand up and get ready for work, his phone vibrated again.

Annoyed he looked at the screen just to see, that the number was suppressed again.

Was this guy kidding him? Izaya had been sure that he had made his position clear, so why was this bastard still bothering him?

Furiously he opened the phone again preparing to let this guy's worst nightmare come true. "Didn't I tell you-"

"DON'T YOU DARE TO HANG UP ON ME AGAIN YOU FILTHY WHORE!" A manly voice screamed. It was distorted and filled with aggression and anger. Every word spit fury and made Izaya's skin crawl. The words were echoing in his brain and his happiness from before vanished immediately. His body started to feel numb beginning in his feet and hands, crawling through his whole body.

His eyes widened and for a short moment he was really feeling something like fear in his bones.

But this fear was rapidly replaced by indignation about the guy at the other end of the call . Who in this world dared to speak with him like that?! What was that bastard even thinking?!

"What are you-" he began only to be interrupted again.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL RIP YOUR DAMN SISTERS INSIDES APART !"

...

 _What?!_

Izaya's eyes widened in disbelief.

What was going on? Was this guy insane? His sisters?!

Furthermore: What was with Kururi and Mairu? Where were they?

It was too early. They should be still at home, sleeping. In Peace.

In one short moment of insecurity Izaya took out one of his other phones and dialed the number of their apartment. No one picked up.

He tried again.

Nothing.

That could be normal. It didn't mean anything. They were deep sleepers. They were most probably still dreaming about Shizuo's damn brother. So no need to worry. Everything could be fine.

But still ...

Suddenly horrible fear came crawling up Izaya's neck. He felt his legs went numb and his body get cold. His head hurt while the aggressive words were still ringing inside his head. It caused Nausea rising up inside his stomach, he barely was able to oppress. His whole body started to tense up and his grip around the cell phone tightened turning his knuckles white. In one moment to another the living room began to spin around him and he couldn't concentrate on anything else but the phone in his hands.

Was it possible?

His sisters ... were about to ...

Was this actually happening?

This couldn't be a joke, right?

So the guy at the other end ... actually had his sisters?

But how ...

Hadn't Izaya taught them how to fight? Sure Kururi wasn't the greatest fighter, but Mairu was pretty good. She was strong. She could fight grown-up men easily.

It's not like he had never expected them to be attacked according to his work, but he had taken precautions. Mikage had done great work. They were well trained.

This couldn't be possible. They were strong. No, this couldn't be true.

"IZAYA ORIHARA-SAN, COME UP WITH 1 BILLION YEN NEXT WEEK OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE YOUR SISTERS AGAIN!"

Izaya snapped out of his thoughts when the scary voice spoke again.

Was this guy serious? _1 Billion Yen?!_ That amount was ridiculous! Sure, he had money, but not that much! Who would be as stupid to even think that?!

"I don't have that much!" he screamed into the phone anger raising inside him.

Suddenly something snapped inside his head.

How could he even be stupid enough to believe that this was actually happening?

Maybe that guy at the other end was playing him a stupid prank. Who told him that his sisters were actually in someone's hands? Maybe they were running around happily somewhere in the streets. Like Always. Maybe it was even some stupid prank of themselves! Actually this whole thing looked really much like them. A stupid prank to prove the love that Izaya actually felt for them, though he never showed or admitted it!

 _That's so much like them._ He thought. Yeah, that's right. _My sisters are alright_ , he tried to dispel the insecurity in his thoughts.

"THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. MAYBE I HAVE TO JAR YOUR MEMORY A BIT."

 _What?_ What did this guy mean?

His grip around the cell phone tightened, nearly breaking it.

Nothing happened. Silence.

For a short moment the raven couldn't hear anything. A quiet rustling, but that was all.

Was this guy playing with him?

The stiffness was slowly coming out of his limbs and the fear he felt was replaced by anger. _That asshole! What a fucking joke is this?!_

The moment he wanted to scream into the phone again, he choked on the word, when a voice began to speak, he had so often heard before in his life.

"Nii-san..." the voice was quiet, croaking as if speaking was hurting the young girl. She sounded desperate and weak, nearly not recognizable, but Izaya still noticed that it belonged to his sister.

 _KURURI!_

Was this really just a game? The way his sister's voice sounded ... That couldn't be an act, could it? It sounded so real. As if she was in real pain.

Izaya gulped.

"Kururi! What's going on?" he asked calmly still hoping that this was all just a stupid game.

 _"_ Izaya-niisan ... please help us ... I don't want to die ... please ... he will hurt us ... Nii-san..."

The words were merely whispered. Breaks were between them as if speaking was hard for the girl .

After that he could hear sobbing from the other end of the phone. That was the moment when Izaya realized that this horror was indeed real.

Someone really had his sisters!

And he was hurting them!

 _NO! This can't be. No, no, no, no, no ..._

He had to help them! He had to protect them! He was their older brother! No one was allowed to touch them! NO! Stop this horror! Please!

His breathing became hard. Every little breath hurt in his lungs. He couldn't ... he couldn't...

"Kururi, can you tell me where you are?" he asked desperately. He needed to hear her voice again. He needed to know that she was still there.

But no answer.

 _What happened?!_

"KURURI!" he screamed. He had jumped up from the couch, the phone desperately clinging to his ear.

His whole body hurt. Inside his stomach rose the need to vomit, but he could oppress the feeling by concentrating on the voice at the other end of the call.

But not a single answer came back.

No, no, no!

When had he last heard her voice? The time went on so painfully slow. It felt like eternity to him since he had heard the last sign of life. Why was nobody answering?

It couldn't be ...

Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes.

"KURURI?!" He tried again, only before the pure horror reached his ears, making his stomach turn around.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Izaya nearly broke the phone when the awful scream bashed his skull, leaving him in speechless terror.

" ... NII-SAN! ... NII-SAN! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!... MAKE IT STOP! ... PLEASE! NII-SAN!"

Every word was screamed and filled with pure pain. Between the words the screams stopped for a moment, turning into a rasping sound, just to begin anew. He could hear the sobbing between the words, when his sister was desperately gasping for air.

His sisters ... were they tortured?

He couldn't endure it any longer. Tears were finally running down his cheeks. He put his free hand on his mouth to oppress his own sobs.

They were hurting his sisters! And all he could was listen to their screams!

"Kururi-chan..." he whispered desperately.

 _Who would do that to you? My little sister ... she's innocent. It's me. It's me, who you want! So why did you take her? Why didn't you take me!?_

Unable to speak he sank to his knees wrapped in the screams of his sister that were slowly filling up the whole room.

Suddenly the painful screams ended and a horrible silence met his ears.

 _What has just happened? Kururi!_

"KURURI! KURURI!" He screamed into the phone.

No, she couldn't be ...

They wouldn't kill her. They wouldn't kill her! Please, don't! Don't do that!

The hand left his mouth when it painfully opened to a silent scream. No sound was coming out while the tears were running in streams down his cheeks. His body convulsed to a painful position kneeing down on the ground.

"It's my fault ... " he whispered. The words painfully left his lips.

"IZAYA ORIHARA-SAN."

His eyes widened in shock. There it was again. That horrible distorted voice. Daring to speak to him. As if there was anything left for him. Anything he could actually care about after what he had just heard. Right after the voice had done those horrible things to his sister.

But Izaya was unable to speak. Too much despair was filling his heart. His eyes were burning with tears and every word he tried to speak sent waves of fire through his lungs.

"COME UP WITH 1 BILLION YEN NEXT WEEK OR WE' LL KILL YOUR SISTERS. FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS WILL FOLLOW."

And then the call ended.

The phone left his hand and shattered on the floor, when Izaya finally vomited right in front of him.

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 **REVIEWS PLEASE**

 **The lyrics are from Michael Bublé "It's a Beautiful Day" (for those who care)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the nice reviews! Here ya go! :)**

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Chapter 2

For Shinra Celty was the perfect being. She was the most beautiful existence in this world and he regretted absolutely, that she had to work so much that it stole away their precious time together.

This and the fact, that Celty was for once home this evening and not outside working caused him to open the door pretty enraged when someone was knocking it as if this was the end of the world. His face was almost red from the anger lingering inside him and he just couldn't stifle the urge to strangle the one, that had dared to knock his door at such a time.

However, this feeling vanished just as fast as it had come, when the doctor opened the door and saw the distraught face of his best friend, cheeks red from exhaustion and eyes filled with dismay.

The shock in the doctor's knees was slowly dropping off, when the raven just passed Shinra and stormed into the apartment.

His movements were eager, but somehow erratic, making the doctor realize the big shadows under the Informant's eyes.

Izaya stopped inside the living room and began to run his fingers nervously through his hair, his eyes roaming around the room intensely.

Shinra immediately saw that something was wrong with Izaya, but when he wanted to ask him what had happened, this one began to babble incoherent stuff.

"They have them."

"They used a disposable phone."

"I couldn't find them, Shinra."

"What if I can't ..."

With every word the raven became more and more uncontrollable. His fingers were tensely twitching in the air as if they were trying to grab something only he could see. His widened eyes were concentrating intensely on various spots in the living room, showing how many disturbing thoughts were running through his head right now. It seemed they were dislodging the raven from reality.

Shinra could only guess, what was going on in his best friend's head. If the doctor didn't know better, he would say that the man had become insane.

He became seriously worried. He had never seen his friend like that before. Normally Izaya was unfazed and neutral, not easy to be enraged or discomposed. But right now he seemed to be totally alarmed - or rather hysterical.

The way his body was shaking troubled Shinra. He approached the man only a bit, before this one suddenly recoiled and snapped his head rapidly in his direction. Surprised Shinra 's eyes widened, shocked about the sudden movement, while Izaya ran towards him and grabbed his shoulders with both hands.

Izaya's nails were digging into his skin and Shinra winced in pain. He wanted to scream at the raven, but when he saw into those red eyes staring so hysterically back into his own, he couldn't form words.

Was this really Izaya?

"THEY WILL DIE, SHINRA!"

"Wha-"

"They will DIE! ... They will die ..."

Izaya's words were slowly dying down, tears appearing in his eyes.

Shinra didn't understand the world anymore. What was going on?

Suddenly a black hand was put down on Izaya's shoulder, causing the man to turn around. Izaya's behavior had almost caused Shinra to forget that Celty was in the very same room with them. The Dullahan was standing in front of the raven, holding the PDA up to his face.

[Who will die?]

Both Izaya and Shinra were staring at it with wide eyes, before Izaya finally let go of Shinra's shoulders.

The Informant was eyeing the screen sadly. It seemed every little bit of life had died inside him, making Shinra and the Dullahan even more worried than before.

Celty took the PDA away from Izaya already typing something new, when three almost not hearable words were breaking through the Informant's lips.

"Please help me. "

* * *

It took Shinra almost two hours to get Izaya to tell him the whole story. After the raven had ended, looking nauseous or rather ill now, he sent Izaya on the couch to rest.

Celty was sitting in front of him trying to cheer him up by saying that everything was going to be right. Though Shinra doubted that.

The doctor was standing in the kitchen observing those two, Celty typing something desperately and Izaya dropping his gaze sadly.

Shinra sighed. He had told his best friend, that he was going to help him, but he seriously didn't know how. Izaya had said, that he had already checked everything when it came to the call. The raven had been at the girls' apartment, but no one had been there. It seemed the girls had been kidnapped, when they had been outside somewhere, maybe on their way home. God knows, when that had been. Izaya had told him, that he had seen them at last three days ago, meaning they could have been in the hands of those kidnappers quite a long time now.

Saying that, he know that they were in a quagmire here. They absolutely didn't have any idea, who the kidnappers were or where they had brought the girls.

For Shinra the problem was, that he didn't have those skills Izaya had. And if Izaya couldn't find them with his nearly genius capacities, then what was he supposed to do? For god's sake, he was a doctor, not a detective!

Suddenly an idea hit him.

Why hadn't he thought about that before?

It wasn't like he, Celty and Izaya were the only somehow skilled people in this area.

After all, he knew a pretty high amount of significant people.

Smiling, the underground doctor took out his phone, leaving the depressing sight of Izaya on the couch while making his way to the floor.

He didn't want the raven to hear right away, what he was planning to do. He knew, that Izaya liked to be the one pulling the strings in the background and not being the one in the spotlight. Therefore he knew that the raven wouldn't really be amused about his plan. It wasn't a big problem though, and the thought made his smile only grow wider while dialing the first number.

"Believe me, Izaya. I have the perfect plan, I would just like you to not make a fuss out of it."

"Why should I-?"

"I know you will ... most probably not like it, but believe me, it will be the solution for your problem and-"

 _Ding Dong_

"Ah, there's the first one! Excuse me!" Shinra laughed.

* * *

Celty had managed to calm Izaya down after a while, making him almost act normal again. However, it was in the time Shinra had called nearly everyone he knew who had some kind of relationship with the twins, that Izaya was already wondering what was going on.

Shinra was sure that most people he called would willingly help to rescue the twins, though he was sure, that Izaya wouldn't like the idea. Especially not, when one certain debt collector would enter this room.

Therefore his idea was to first let everyone enter the room and then declare his plan in front of everyone.

And with that the game had started.

Izaya, who had already become suspicious of Shinra taking so long, wasn't really buying Shinra's lame excuses with his plan being the "perfect plan" and so on. Also Celty seemed to be pretty confused by the mysterious behavior of her boyfriend, and it hurt Shinra, that he had to stall them for so long.

As a result, he waited impatiently for the first one to arrive, because the first ringing of the bell would mean the end of this awkward situation.

Happily he ran to the front door opening it with such a joy making his guest flinch.

"Come inside, my dear friend!"

Slowly but truly his living room became more and more crowded.

At first Simon and Dennis had arrived, following Slon and Varona- let's say the whole russian crew, making Shinra feel a little awkward when he noticed, that there was a bunch of more or less assassins sitting inside his living room.

After that, Mikado, Kida and Anri appeared followed by Aoba. Then Seiji and Mika came being the adorable couple like always and making Shinra feel a little guilty that he would clearly destroy everyone's day. At last came Kadota and his group causing the atmosphere to ease a bit.

Until now, everything went fine. His guests were sitting or standing across the living room, chatting with each other happily. No one had started a fight, no one had died.

Shinra already thought, that this could actually work out, until he caught Izaya staring into his direction.

The doctor flinched a little, though the raven's gaze wasn't angry or anything. It was more Izaya's "Are you serious?!"-look causing Shinra to show an awkward smile. The Informant should know until now, what his plan was, but he still hadn't left. This was a good sign.

He kept the eye contact a little longer with his best friend, when suddenly the door bell rang again.

Shinra saw Izaya look in the door's direction, perking his eyebrows in confusion before looking to Shinra again.

The doctor just made an excusing movement with his hand, hoping that Izaya understood what he meant. The Informant's eyes widened a little, first in confusion than in alarmed comprehension causing his face to show a more "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!"-look.

However, Shinra didn't care. He just went in the direction of the door. He even heard the raven's footsteps behind him, who had suddenly jumped up from the couch and followed him.

But it was too late.

Shinra had already opened the door causing the probably most awkward moment during that night. It felt as if the time had stopped for a moment.

On the one hand there was Shizuo standing right in front of him - next to him Tom, who was just looking as shocked as everyone else in this group.

Then on the other hand there was Izaya standing only a mere meter away from Shinra.

Both Shizuo and Izaya were looking totally surprised into the other's direction.

-And Shinra in the middle of it.

This horrible situation taking place just before the inevitable happened beginning with a vein showing up on Shizuo's face.

And-

"IZAAYAAAAAAA!"

* * *

Absolutely everyone in the living room heard the scream.

But they were only jumping up from their seats, when a vase came flying in the room being shattered at the wall.

All discussions that had taken place died in that very moment, and a uncomfortable silence filled the room, before Simon and Celty were the first one to act.

Going in the direction of the floor they wanted to see what had caused the scream -and the flying vase - before they were interrupted by Izaya who came stumbling out the floor.

The Informant was holding a switchblade in his one hand pointing it in the direction of the front door, causing the others to already guess what was going on.

And they saw that their assumptions were just right, when they noticed a pretty enraged Shizuo coming out the floor. All eyes were widening in shock . Knowing what was going to happen, they were seriously considering the probability, whether it was very clever to stay in the same room with those two or not.

"Ne, Shizu-chan is as uncontrollable as always. He obviously doesn't have enough common sense to behave right even at a friend's house~" the raven chuckled maliciously. It felt as if those two were in their own world, not noticing the others anymore.

Another vein was popping up at Shizuo's face hearing the louse's voice.

"AND WHO'S FAULT IS THAT!?" the blonde screamed. Without hesitation he grabbed the big desk standing next to him.

Only a few seconds ago Mikado and his friends had sat there- now they were standing in one corner of the room watching the scene with wide eyes.

The desk was lifted with total ease, causing the raven's smile to being replaced by a serious look.

However, just at the moment Shizuo wanted to throw the desk at his most hated enemy, he was wrapped by a bunch of black strings.

"Wha-" he tried to say not being able to move anymore.

His astonishment was already beginning to being replaced by anger again, but then a screen was shoved in front of his face.

The blonde lifted his eyes in confusion trying to read what the screen was showing.

[Please, stop this! You two are here for a reason!]

Shizuo contracted his eyebrows while reading, before he looked up to Celty - actually to the place where her head was supposed to be.

Simon on the other hand had gone to Izaya standing right in front of the smaller man while looking at him with a serious look.

"Fighting no good, Izaya." Saying that the Russian grabbed Izaya's hand making him let go of the switchblade. Giving it back to the raven, this one was just looking back as serious.

"It's not like, it's my fault, that this happened." He said with a cold voice making some of the guest's shudder, because it was so very unusual to see Izaya totally serious.

The raven was eyeing Shizuo again still being entrapped by Celty, before he noticed Shinra coming towards them followed by Tom.

"Please stop this! There's indeed a reason, why I called you here!" the doctor said with a mix of friendliness and desperation.

Shizuo who seemed to finally calm down, was released by Celty's power and put the desk back to the place where it had stood before. He faced Shinra directly, trying to ignore the fact, that the flea was indeed only standing a mere meter away from him.

"And what could this reason be, that I'd have to share the same room with that bastard?" he asked not trying to hide his wrath for the other man.

"Well, I know that most of you have really understandable reasons for not liking Izaya-" the doctor started apologizing, ignoring the fact, that his best friend drew his breath sharply through his teeth at the doctor's words.

"But I called you all to help him. Because as the circumstances stand now, it seems that his sisters were indeed kidnapped by some really dangerous people. Therefore I wanted to ask you for your help to find them." Shinra said more serious now.

"If you don't like the idea, see it as a way of helping his sisters and not him." he added pointing a finger at Izaya who seemed to be seriously pissed now after his so called best friend's speech.

A short silence followed after that, the present people were either staring at Izaya or at Shinra.

After this, the first one to speak was Kadota. He slowly approached Izaya, put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a genuine smile.

"Of course, I will help you to save your sisters, Izaya!" he said causing the raven's expression to lighten up.

"Thank you very much, Dota-chin!" the Informant answered, creating the next unexpected moment now. A real and happy smile had appeared on his face hearing his friend's words, causing most guys to widen their eyes.

Neither of them had ever seen Izaya showing a real smile except for that arrogant grin that became more or less a characteristic for him.

Feeling the tensed situation becoming more and more friendly, Erika was the next one who happily jumped in front of Izaya.

"Of course, I will help you, Iza-chan!" she happily chirped, making the raven's eyes widen even more.

Next Simon put a hand on his other shoulder, telling him in Russian, that he would do everything in his power to save his sisters.

Izaya's happy smile was replaced by astonishment - not because he wasn't happy anymore, but because he hadn't expected so many people to be ready to help him.

He considered Kadota more or less a friend, that was why he wasn't too surprised about his help.

But then nearly everyone in this room was ensuring him about their help. He didn't have to do anything for it. They didn't expect him to give them anything for their help. No money, no information. They were just doing it out of friendliness. How everyone was approaching him- smiling- as if they were actual friends, almost made him cry.

Only thinking of his sisters let him remember that this was indeed not friendly, but serious as fuck. They weren't doing it for him, but for his sisters, that could be already dead at this moment. The thought made his skin crawl.

Shizuo was standing at the outside watching the scene with wide eyes. Shinra was standing next to him smiling, that his plan was indeed a success.

Suddenly the blonde grabbed him from the side, causing them to face each other.

"Are you actually kidding me?! That was the reason, why you called me?!"

The doctor's eyes widened in surprise for a moment, before he lifted both hands in apology.

"Well, nobody forces you to help. I just thought the more people we are, the better we can look for them."

Shizuo's unexpected behavior had caused the room to fell silent.

Still holding Shinra he looked into the group mustered around Izaya, who was watching Shizuo with such genuine eyes, that he couldn't help but feel a little sting in his heart.

Everyone was looking into his direction not saying a word, only Izaya silently whispering "Shizu-chan", in a way that the blonde thought, that he had misheard.

Sighing he let go of Shinra and looked slightly embarrassed to the sight.

"Of course I will help. I just wanted to know, how you imagine us to find them."

Though most people were showing a genuine smile, Izaya's face stayed serious.

"That's something I would like to know, too." He said approaching Shinra.

He was more or less ignoring Shizuo. The sole fact, that they could endure each other in the same room was already a miracle and he didn't want to make the beast angrier at him than he already was. The raven still didn't like the brute, but he knew, that Shizuo's strength could be of a big help. That's why he decided to act at least a bit friendly towards him.

Shinra on the other hand only stumbled something like that he thought that they were all searching in Tokyo for the twins, causing Izaya to sigh annoyed.

"That's not really a clever idea. I appreciate that you all came here to help, but I think searching something without knowing where the goal is, would take way too much time, that we don't have." The raven replied neutrally.

"Then do you have a better idea?!"

Izaya moved his head in shock to Shizuo's direction, who had said those words angrily.

Actually he had thought, that the blonde would ignore him just like he had planned to do, but Shizuo had actually spoken to him, still angry, but not with the usual result of attacking him with something. The blonde debt collector was just standing there, a mere meter away from him with the hands in his pockets showing an annoyed expression.

 _It's not like I expect you to act clever, you brute._ The raven thought annoyed, scrutinizing the man.

Izaya didn't know where this was going, but he decided to put his and Shizuo's rivalry to the background at first.

The only thing that mattered now were his sisters. And only them.

When he wanted to answer the brute's question, he didn't came very far though because the ringtone of his mobile phone was distracting him.

He broke the eye contact with the beast searching for the phone in his pocket. When the Informant eyed the scream suspiciously, his eyes widened in shock only a second later.

"Withheld ... number ..." he whispered to himself.

Most guys were just staring at him not really getting were the problem was, though Shinra, who understood immediately what was going on (because Izaya had told him what exactly had happened that morning) rushed towards Izaya's site without a second thought.

He grabbed Izaya's face with one hand forcing the Informant to look into his face. Shinra could already see again in Izaya's eyes, that the Informant was very close to be stricken by the fear for his sisters again. But he knew, that Izaya had to keep a cool head now.

"Listen, Izaya. If it's really them, turn the phone loud. Maybe we can help you."

He could still see, that the raven didn't believe him being too lost in fear, of what he might hear.

Remembering the call from this morning caused his hair to stand up and his face whitened only a little more, when he finally accepted the call.

Breathing unsteady, he waited for the voice that was still scaring the shit out of him.

"IZAYA ORIHARA-SAN, DO YOU HAVE THE 1 BILLION YEN YET?"

Izaya's hands were trembling, the phone was almost falling down of his hand when he heard the question.

He didn't know what to answer. Of course, he hadn't the money yet. How was he even supposed to get that much money in such a short time?!

"No ... " he whispered already afraid of what would happen next.

"DO WE HAVE TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR SISTERS' LIVES?"

Izaya's eyes widened in shock.

"No, you don't have to! I promise! I will get the money! Just please don't hurt them anymore!"

The raven was surprised by himself that he could sound so desperate. He knew, that this was indeed embarrassing for him. Everyone was watching the great Izaya Orihara losing control. Over everything.

But Izaya couldn't help it. His family was supposed to be killed and he had to admit now, that even he wasn't cold enough to think about his reputation at a moment like this.

However, his pleads were too late. Just like the last time a great silence followed, causing the raven's breath to stop for a moment while his face grew paler and paler with every instance.

But tears were only brought to his eyes, when he heard the awful screams of one of his sisters again.

"AHHHHHHHH! NII-SAN PLEASE HELP ME! NII-SAN!"

It was Mairu's voice. He knew it. And he could do nothing.

 _There's not one thing I can do..._

This one thought let him feel again, how powerless he really was. Never before had he felt like that.

Tears were finally streaming down his face. He didn't care, that he wasn't alone. He could feel someone's hand at his shoulder, most probably Shinra, but right now no one could help him.

He was the loser in this game. And there was nothing else in this world making him feel less worthy.

"IZAYA ORIHARA-SAN GET THE 1 BILLION YEN OR WE WILL KILL YOUR SISTERS!"

And with that the call ended.

Having lost all of his power the raven let the phone shatter to the ground. Followed by himself who fell to his knees. Both hands were pressed to his face not having enough power left to hold one tear back. Izaya didn't even know if had ever cried once as much.

Everyone else was paralyzed. No one dared to speak. Since no one knew how to help him. Not one of them could imagine the pain the raven had to suffer at this very moment.

* * *

 **Wrote this before going to work. Sorry, if it's shit! I'm so sorry *sob***


	3. Chapter 3

**Heyyyoo! Can't believe that I managed to update this so fast this time! xD**

 **Thanks for the nice reviews! They always make me smile! :***

 **Enjoy reading !**

 **~I love Izaya's and Shinra's friendship x3**

* * *

Chapter 3

After Izaya's mental breakdown most people were standing in Shinra's apartment in a gloomy atmosphere. To see the raven cry, which was so very uncharacteristically, had left them not only in astonishment, but also in dejection.

Before the call, the kidnapping of the sisters had been a sole fact declared only by words. But when the call had reached the Informant and everyone had to hear the awful screams, they understood that this was not only an "adventure" like most of their days.

Of course, their friends and themselves had often been brought in danger, but never before had they had to hear their friends' screams like Izaya had to hear his sisters' that night, leaving them in amazement how the raven had been able to endure it until now.

When the call had ended and Izaya was kneeling on the ground, there had been only silence at first. No one knew what to do, until Shinra was the first one to approach the crying raven and took him softly into an embrace.

Stroking the raven locks while holding his best friend close, Shinra waited until Izaya could finally relax in his embrace and the crying died down to mere sobs.

He was still holding him, when a soft hand touched Shinra's shoulder making him look into the raven's face. His eyes were reddened and still wet, though his friend had finally stopped crying.

"It's ok now. Thank you, Shinra." the raven forced a small smile on his face to ensure the doctor that he could let go of him now, but it mostly managed to make Shinra feel even worse.

To see his best friend like this, who was normally never showing any emotion, this was the least he wanted to see. Seeing Izaya on the bottom, almost not able to stand up again, nearly broke his heart and he had to concentrate to not show any weakness at this moment.

He knew, that he had to stay strong and composed for his best friend, when this one was down.

"No problem. You can count on me, Izaya." the doctor replied standing up. He offered Izaya a hand and helped him to get up from the ground.

With one swift movement the raven used his sleeve to wipe off the left tears on his face, before he turned around to the other people, who were still awkwardly standing in the room.

"Thank you all for helping me. If you don't mind, I would like to discuss now, how we are going to find Mairu and Kururi."

Thanking them Izaya bowed in front of them causing their eyes to grew wide in surprise.

Who would have ever thought that the great Izaya Orihara would one day bow in front of someone genuinely thanking him?

With their capabilities -Mikado being the leader of the Dollars or Anri being Saika - the present group promised Izaya that they would find his sisters. Of course, they didn't voice their plans because them being who they are was still a secret to most people in the living room.

But they know, that Izaya as the great Information Broker he was, knew of course of their secret. Meaning when Mikado told him that he would do everything, that was in his power, Izaya immediately understood that the boy was going to use the Dollars to find the sisters.

However, Shinra noticed that the more the discussion went on, the more Izaya looked ill. His face was pale and big shadows were under his eyes. Having been there before the doctor saw that Izaya wasn't in a good condition.

The doctor clapped his hands immediately drawing the attention of everyone to him.

"Ok. I think that's it for today. We're all tired. Let's continue this tomorrow. " he chirped happily.

"Wai-" Izaya had widened his eyes in shock while jumping up from the couch, but Shinra, who had expected the raven's objection, didn't let him finish his sentence.

"Izaya, we're all tired. Especially you, who's looking awful if I might add that."

"But-"

"Izaya, we need our power to find them. And to regain power, we have to sleep. I mean, even you should understand that."

"But-"

"The kidnappers have to sleep, too. We would lose more, if we weren't going to sleep now."

"Shin-"

"The discussion is over now, Izaya." The doctor said finally, smiling at the raven.

This one looked back tiredly. The doctor knew that Izaya was pretty down and wished for some results, but he seriously worried about his best friend, and Izaya most probably understood the doctor's worry, when he let himself fall back on the couch saying a swiftly "fine then".

* * *

After nearly everyone had left Shinra's apartment only him, Celty, Izaya and to the doctor's very surprise Shizuo were still sitting in the living room.

Shinra hadn't dared to send Izaya home. He saw, that Izaya needed rest, but if he told his best friend now to go home, it would feel to him as if he would throw his friend out. And he wanted to prevent a situation like that - at least when his friend was in such a bad condition.

Izaya was sitting on one side of the couch, his eyes sadly staring to the ground while his raven locks were hanging softly into his very pale face.

To the doctor's astonishment Shizuo was sitting on the couch in front of the raven watching him with careful eyes. Izaya didn't seem to notice or didn't bother about it.

However, Shinra couldn't stop the thought that Shizuo seemed to be worried about the raven, too.

But on second thought, he knew this couldn't be the case.

Shizuo hated Izaya after all. He was most probably only worrying about his sisters, though that didn't really explained why he was the only one left in his apartment.

 _Whatever..._ Shinra thought tiredly. He was exhausted and not in the mood to think about something like that now.

He didn't even know how late it was, but when his gaze fell on the outside of the window, he saw the horizon slowly growing bright again. The sun was rising again, making him recognize that they had indeed taken the whole night to discuss.

The doctor yawned.

He knew there was no sense to continue this. Tiredly he approached Shizuo causing the blonde debt collector to tear his eyes away from the raven and look up to the doctor.

"Shizuo could you bring Izaya home?"

To his shock both widened their eyes in surprise, but didn't protested.

With few words they were saying goodbye and left the apartment, before Shinra finally closed the door, only leaving him and Celty inside the apartment.

[Do you think he will be ok?]

"I don't know. First of all he needs to rest now. And we, too." The doctor said yawning and put an arm around Celty's shoulders leading her to the bedroom to finally find some sleep.

* * *

Shizuo and Izaya were walking next to each other in silent.

The tranquility in the early morning hours felt nice to Shizuo, though it was a little awkward to acknowledge it together with Izaya.

Somehow he felt the need to say something, but he didn't know if there was anything at all that he could say.

He was observing the raven from the side from time to time, eyeing the black shadows under his eyes and watching the pale skin with worry.

The raven really didn't look good at all. Seeing him like that left Shizuo in astonishment, because on one hand he had never seen the raven like this despite of knowing him for years now. On the other hand he hadn't thought that the raven cared enough for anyone to be discomposed by it so easily.

Apart from this could he still bear the raven a grudge after this?

The whole night Shizuo had thought about the possibility, what he would do if Kasuka were kidnapped and he was in such a situation.

He didn't really have an answer to that. The sole thought was too painful to even consider it.

They reached Izaya's apartment in time letting his urge to say something grow inside the blonde's chest.

When Izaya bowed down to thank him - _even him_ \- his normally most hated enemy - it nearly broke Shizuo's heart.

This was not the Izaya Shizuo knew. This man in front of him was acting so differently compared to the arrogant louse he normally knew. Never before had Shizuo thought that he could actually feel something like pity for the raven, but this night had taught him different.

Watching the man's sad eyes made him lose it.

"I will find your sisters, Izaya. I promise." he said seriously - causing the raven to look at him in shock.

But the shock was fast replaced by anger marking the raven's face - making the blonde debt collector wonder what he had said wrong.

"HOW can you dare ..." the raven began saying angrily ringing for words. "... to give me hope?!"

The blonde's eyes widened in surprise.

"Why are you helping me anyway?" the raven hissed then his piercing eyes going like daggers through Shizuo's head.

Shizuo almost wanted to give an angry reply to that but then he saw tears forming in the raven's eyes again.

Embarrassed that he had managed to force tears to the man's face, Shizuo felt his anger die down immediately.

Thinking desperately that he didn't want to see the raven cry again, he put deeply grieved a hand on the Informant's head.

This one's red eyes softened immediately by confusion causing the blonde's face to heat up a little by the embarrassing situation.

"I can't ... empathize with your pain ... but I know, that if something like that happened to my brother, it would kill me from the inside." he muttered hoping that the raven would understand.

This one just dropped his gaze making the blonde unable to see his eyes. Nonetheless he still felt the need to make the raven feel better.

"I seriously don't know ... what I would do in such a situation." he ended still having his hand on the Informant's head.

Feeling the soft locks under his hand the blonde almost didn't hear the silently given reply.

"I will kill them." the answer left the raven's rosy lips making the blonde shudder.

"Wha-"

"I will kill the kidnappers." the raven repeated again his gaze still directed at the bottom.

In shock Shizuo pulled the hand back from Izaya's head. He could almost feel the aura around the raven darkening making the hair on his arms stand up.

Izaya was really scary right now and Shizuo didn't know if he should actually be afraid of him or if his senses were only playing him a trick.

Feeling awkward he balanced his body weight from one foot to another before he mumbled a final "goodbye" and dashed off in the direction of his home leaving the raven alone in front of his apartment.

* * *

 _Izaya slowly opened his eyes. Something had woken him and his gaze fell on the window, letting him see the moon standing high in the sky. It's light was illuminating the room accentuating the shapes of his furniture._

 _When his gaze wandered along his walls he suddenly saw that the light was emphasizing something next to him._

 _Delicate proportions were lightened and the raven could already feel his heart start to beat faster, when he understood then someone was lying next to him._

 _Slowly he turned his head to the side his eyes widening in shock and in fear, when he saw someone lying next to him, who definitely couldn't be there._

 _-Himself._

 _His image was lying there supporting himself with one arm from the bed, while the other one was lying on the delicate waist. But the scariest thing of this already impossible being was the cruel smile covering his clone's face._

 _'That's not true' he thought to himself._

 _"Oh, this is the only truth that has ever been" the man in front of him replied making his body shiver._

 _His image had not only replied to his own thought, but it or he had also responded in a voice that definitely wasn't his own._

 _This voice was dark and dripping with inhumanity, that Izaya had to suppress the urge to just storm off of his apartment._

 _When the raven already wanted to form words again to ask what was going on, his image stopped him right away._

 _"You should kill them."_

 _Izaya eyes widened in fear. What was this image of him saying?_

 _"I don-"_

 _"Of course you know. After all you want to kill them all, right?~" his image chuckled making Izaya's skin get goose bumps._

 _Suddenly it was above him pinning him down to the bed. Izaya hadn't seen any movement. The man had just been there from one moment to another, the scary grin never leaving his face._

 _The man's red eyes were piercing through him and Izaya wondered if his own eyes always looked just as scary, when suddenly blades started to sprout out of the man's body._

 _The raven could feel his fear increase strengthening his urge to run away, but he couldn't move at all. His body was pressed against the sheets making him paralyzed and he could only watch with tearful eyes what the man was going to do to him._

 _"They all deserve death" the image above him suddenly whispered, when a blade started to grow out of his mouth making the raven's body start to tremble in fear._

 _Suddenly his face was grabbed with both hands forcing his mouth to stand open, while the face of his image was coming closer and closer to his own._

 _A silent scream started to escape his lips when he could almost feel the blade enter his mouth._

 _Tears started to stream down his face. Izaya wanted to escape, wanted to flee, wanted this to stop, but he couldn't move one limp._

 _All he could do was to drown in the bloody eyes of his own image._

* * *

Covered in sweat Izaya awakened from his dream rising his upper body in shock.

His eyes were staring at the wall in front of him widened in fear - still remembering the awful voice of his own image.

 _"They all deserve death"_

* * *

 **I'm in Spain from 02. - 15.08. So no update in that time. Sorryyyyyyy! I will start updating constantly after I come back. Promised! Dates for the updates will be on my profile ! xD**

 **Until then, tell me what you think~ Maybe you even have some ideas what's going to happen? Please tell me then! ;) I'm so curious what you think about this story \0/ ~**


	4. Chapter 4

**My philosophy teacher singing Doors during class like:**

 **"Into this world we're thrown**

 **like a dog without a bone~"**

 **Then *clenching fists*:**

 **"THIS IS PURE EXISTENTIALISM!"**

* * *

Chapter 4

After his awful dream he hadn't been able to find any more sleep. It wasn't like Izaya wasn't tired or anything - he was indeed tired _as fuck_ \- but every time he closed his eyes, those crimson slits dripping with inhumanity and the devilish grin of his own image were haunting him.

Going into the bathroom he even checked his own face inside the mirror. Scrutinizing his eyes - especially their color - he inspected if they were really looking like the ones in his nightmare.

He remembered them clearly - eyes red as blood, piercing and shining in the dark like glowing rubies.

Now that he compared them, he noticed that his own were a bit darker, not crimson but more in the color of rust. Next to that, he couldn't really imagine his own eyes glowing in the night like reddish lanterns. Checking them in the mirror, they seemed pretty normal he thought and not so _devilish_ \- well compared to the eyes of other people they were still special.

\- but now he knew: that _thing_ from his dream definitely wasn't him.

Izaya sighed in relief when he came to the conclusion that he didn't look like that monster from his nightmare.

Slowly he made his way out of the bathroom and went to his desk in front of the big window.

Sitting down he turned the pc on. It's blue light was underlining the black shadows under his eyes, when he searched for the chat room.

 _Kanra has logged in._

 _ **Kanra:**_ _Hey, anybody there?~_

 _ **Taro Tanaka:**_ _Good morning, Kanra! How are you feeling today?_

 _ **Kanra:**_ _Awww, just fine! Thanks for the concern, Taro-chan~ I'm so flustered now~~_

 _ **Bakyura:**_ _That's not really the answer, I expected. Especially from you!_

 _ **Kanra:**_ _Ouch! That hurts! What have you just discussed that Baku-chan is so mean this early already?_

 _ **Setton:**_ _Didn't you hear?! It seems Mairu and Kururi Orihara had been kidnapped!_

 _ **Kanra:**_ _Ah, I heard of that! Are there already some hints yet by any chance?_

 _ **Taro Tanaka:**_ _A bunch of people is looking for them, but they haven't found out anything yet._

 _ **Saika:**_ _I'm sorry ..._

Izaya exhaled sadly, when he read this. He was sure that everyone did his best to find out something, but there weren't any results yet.

Though the first call had received him just yesterday, this whole thing felt to him as if it had taken years already.

It was taking every strength of his body.

He couldn't sleep.

He couldn't eat.

He couldn't close his eyes without hearing his sisters scream.

He couldn't even think clearly.

Suddenly the raven's eyes widened in surprise, when a message popped up at his screen noting a private chat.

 _ **Taro Tanaka:**_ _I'm sorry that I didn't find out anything yet._

 _ **Kanra:**_ _It's ok. I know that you are doing what you can._

 _ **Taro Tanaka:**_ _Yes. Please call me when you need any help. No one should be alone in a situation like that._

 _ **Kanra:**_ _Don't worry. I'm fine._

Izaya knew that Mikado was just worrying about him, but he couldn't endure that pity anymore. Well after the day before, he could clearly understand why those guys were so concerned about him, but still -

they should be concerned about his sisters - not him.

Noticing that there was no reason in any further discussion with the others the Informant closed the private chat.

 _ **Kanra:**_ _Sorry, guys! I still have things to do! See you later then!_

 _Kanra has logged out._

He didn't even wait for the last messages.

Since his dream his head was hurting, the screen light making it now grow to an almost unbearable headache. When the pc turned off and only his black reflection was meeting the raven, he hoped that it would finally ease - but no - his headache rather increased.

He winced in pain closing his eyes. It almost felt as if something was pressing against his skull from the inside making him unable to form any thoughts.

Sitting there with a little headache making him suffer like this, he had to think of his sisters and what they had to endure right now.

The sole thought that the pain his sisters had to endure was definitely worse than this, made him notice again how useless he was.

Right now, Izaya Orihara couldn't do anything else than sit and wait.

Wait for the others to find answers-

Wait for the kidnappers to call-

Wait for the twins' screams to reach him again-

The raven bit into his lower lip to suppress the depressing feeling that was rising inside him again.

He didn't even have any clue, why someone would kidnap his sisters.

He wondered if it was someone they had provoked, but then again he thought that those guys had asked for money - _his_ money to be explicit - making him highly wonder, who the fuck could know something about the amount of money he was gaining from his more or less suspicious job.

Well, of course there was Namie (but Namie would never do something like that, he was sure of), then most of his clients were rather _insignificant_ people and he was sure, that those weren't able to do something like this -

And then there was the yakuza.

The thought that the kidnapping of the twins could have something to do with the yakuza let Izaya gulp with uneasiness.

The most guys he knew of the yakuza - Shiki or Akabayashi - were dangerous, no question, but they would never do something like kidnapping his innocent sisters for money.

But then again-

It could still be someone Izaya didn't know, but who was nonetheless engaged with the yakuza in some way.

But wasn't the yakuza highly infiltrated by Saika?

Then Anri Sonohara would have already found out something, right?

Sighing and still bothered by his hurting head, Izaya went into the kitchen.

After pouring himself a glass of water he laid down on the brownish couch in his living room.

Placing one arm on his eyes, the raven suddenly remembered the day before-

when that beast had brought him home and had gently put one hand above his head.

Izaya blushed when he remembered how good the warm hand had felt- making him feel guarded and safe.

 _Stupid Shizu-chan..._ he thought, blushing even more when he also remembered the embarrassing fact that he had cried in front of the blond.

Only now thinking about what had happened he put one and one together and understood that the man must have done it out of pity: bringing him home and gently touching him like this.

Izaya knew that he must have given a pitiful image, but that still didn't give the brute any right to feel sympathetic for him.

"This monster shouldn't act so human."He mumbled to himself. His face froze at the very moment, the thought was formed into words.

 _Otherwise I'll appear to be the bigger monster between us._ The raven thought ironically remembering the last words he had said to the blond.

 _I will kill them._

Thinking about it now, the raven didn't even know, what had come into him at that moment. He just knew, that he was suddenly overwhelmed by hatred for the guys that were hurting his sisters - that he couldn't control himself anymore. All other feelings and thoughts were dragged out of his body and were replaced by wrath.

He had often felt anger for some of his beloved humans but never before had he felt wrath - no, Izaya Orihara had never wished to kill someone from the bottom of his heart.

Therefore his love for humans was way too enormous.

Even Shizuo Heiwajima - who was a nuisance, he had to admit - had never managed to create such a dark feeling inside his chest.

 _Strange_ ... the raven thought.

It was probably the fact that Shizuo had never done anything bad to those who were precious to him, that the blond had never managed to enrage the Informant like this.

It was the beast's unpredictability that made him either feel annoyed or amused by the man's actions.

He could just never be sure what the blond would do next and that made every encounter with him so thrilling for the raven.

Then again, he noticed that Shizuo had indeed stormed off pretty fast at their last encounter, making the raven wonder if he had daunted the blond with his words.

After saying something like that he couldn't really blame him, but Izaya knew that Shizuo would be indeed a great help with his inhuman strength - maybe not now but at least when they were to meet the kidnappers.

He actually felt a little depressed by the thought, that the monster could let him alone in a situation like this.

Izaya was already so vulnerable at a time like this, where he had lost every little bit of control. Being all alone with this burden would clearly destroy him.

But then this feeling was replaced and a smile was quickly marking his face again.

 _After all beasts like Shizu-chan aren't easy to be daunted anyway~_ he chuckled.

The raven was pulled out of his thoughts, when he suddenly heard the sound of his doorbell.

Sighing that he wasn't really in the mood for a visitor now, Izaya made his way to the front door.

* * *

Shizuo Heiwajima was pissed.

And he had a really understandable reason for that.

No, he wasn't pissed about the fact that he hadn't slept at all.

And he wasn't pissed either because the reason for his lack of sleep was a crying flea, who somehow never left his mind.

And it also wasn't the fact that he felt the strong need to rush over to mentioned raven and look if he was alright.

No, it was none of that.

Shizuo Heiwajima was pissed that he -after hours of brooding- still didn't know how to help the flea and his sisters. He couldn't think of anything that he could do.

The blond didn't have many connections to any significant people. And he wasn't skilled at finding someone either.

All that brought him to the conclusion that all Shizuo Heiwajima was good at was: running around and destroy things.

He was fucking useless in any other matter. Right now he couldn't do anything to help the sisters get rescued or to ease the flea's pain.

And that pissed him off.

It had begun with Izaya constantly being on his mind after their last encounter.

At first Shizuo couldn't make any sense of Izaya's last words.

But after a while, he understood that the raven was in a situation that cost him all his strength making him most probably act in a way he couldn't understand himself.

It meant that the flea was for once not putting on a poker face (which was that annoying grin) but showed his real feelings towards Shizuo.

With that the blond felt ashamed about the way he had just stormed off and left Izaya alone.

Shizuo felt already angry because of his own weakness - that he couldn't help the raven - that' s why he couldn't understand how Izaya could have still been so calm the last time they met.

Of course, the raven had cried and had said some _real_ scary things, but after a while Shizuo thought that he himself would have already turned the city upside down - with force of course - if this would involve his brother.

He was constantly trying to understand how Izaya could endure this pain and it made him worry about the raven the more this continued.

After the things Izaya had said, Shizuo feared that the Informant could do something stupid, but after all he didn't know Izaya well enough to assume anything.

At least not well enough to guess what the raven would do in such a situation.

Feeling angry, depressed and helpless Shizuo decided to visit Shinra.

The doctor was the one who had called everyone for help, because - let's be honest - Izaya would have never done it according to his pride. Therefore the doctor would know if there were any results yet.

Next to that Shinra was most probably the only one Izaya considered a friend, though Shizuo wasn't too sure of the relationship between the raven and Kadota.

The blond ignored the little flare of jealousy that rose inside his chest and continued his walk.

His inner turmoil caused him to go through the streets very eager, almost enraged, making most people step aside a few meters, when they felt the frightening aura around the debt collector.

Shizuo couldn't understand how his helplessness made him feel so guilty towards the raven.

He didn't owe the flea or his sisters anything. It was more the opposite! So why was this all making him feel so upset and concerned?

Reaching Shinra's apartment he knocked the door with a strength, that he almost feared to put a hole into it, but to his relief it stayed in one piece.

It didn't took long for the doctor to open the door.

"Oh, Shizuo. I didn't expect to see you that fast again. Is there something I can do for you?" he asked showing the blond to come in with a swift movement of his hand.

"Not really. I just wanted to ask ... if there are any good news yet?" Shizuo replied brushing awkwardly with one hand through his hair while stepping in.

"No, sorry. So far I didn't hear anything." Shinra answered a sad expression appearing on his face.

When Shizuo entered the living room, Celty was sitting there at the big desk greeting him happily.

The blond took a place opposite her not really knowing how to broach his concern.

[Are you ok, Shizuo? You don't look good.] Celty wrote on her PDA and showed in to him making his heart feel a little sting.

She shouldn't be worried about him.

Making Celty be concerned about him made him feel even more guilty.

"No, don't worry. I'm fine. I just wanted to ask you two something." he gave as reply, causing Shinra to look at him in surprise, when the doctor sat down with a cup of coffee next to the dullahan.

"Sure, what is it that you want to know?" the doctor replied friendly.

"Say, Shinra ... have you ever seen Izaya like that?"

Shizuo coughed slightly in embarrassment.

"I mean ... have you ever seen him crying?"

Shinra's eyes widened slightly, but then a soft smile was quickly covering his face again.

"No, this was the first time." he replied neutrally taking a sip of his coffee.

Shizuo's jaw dropped a little. He couldn't believe his ears.

So yesterday had indeed been the first time ... that Izaya had cried in front of someone else?

This couldn't be, right ? That the flea was indeed able to show emotions, had been proved the day before. Shizuo couldn't imagine, that the raven had never showed emotions like that to someone else. If not Shinra, then maybe there were other friends Shizuo didn't know of, or his parents, or his sisters-

Shizuo wondered. Izaya seemed to have a deep bond to his sisters. He used to think that Izaya and his sisters hated each other - with Mairu and Kururi going on that he could just kill the flea or Izaya saying that he didn't really cared about them.

But that was apparently not the truth.

"It's indeed strange, right?" the doctor said pushing Shizuo out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"For Izaya to show emotions." Shinra explained. He put his cup back on the desk and faced the blond with a serious expression. He had noticed Shizuo's pondering look.

"Listen, Shizuo. I know you think that Izaya is an evil bastard and you're most probably right with that but that doesn't mean that he has no feelings. Izaya is just not showing them so often, because of his fear to get hurt. However, for his sisters that is different. Their parents were often abroad and force Izaya to take care of them causing them to get a really deep bond."

Shizuo was listening carefully absorbing every word the doctor said.

"And this bond is in no way inferior to the one you and Kasuka have."

The last words were forcing a sad expression on Shizuo's face when he lowered his gaze to the top of the desk. Whenever he had to put himself into Izaya's situation his brain didn't seem to work anymore.

At first thoughts would start racing in his head making him weigh up all the possibilities of what he would do - of what he could do - but then after a while only sadness and anger would be left and Shizuo would need to suppress the urge to ram his fist into the next wall.

Putting himself into Izaya's shoes wasn't an easy thing.

"I want to ... help him" the blond suddenly whispered causing a genuine smile to appear on Shinra's face.

"I figured as much this morning." the doctor said, making the blond raise his gaze in surprise.

"I saw how worried you was. I was really surprised. Until now I thought you hated Izaya, so why are you so worried about him?"

The question caused Shizuo to blush.

"How shall I know?! I guess I just don't want to see the flea cry again!"

His answer sounded more desperately than he actually wanted to, making him blush even darker.

"Yeah, me neither." Shinra just replied giggling already presuming what was going on between those two.

"Anyway..." Shizuo said suddenly- a sad tone now marking his voice. "It's not like there's anything I can do for him."

The doctor's eyes widened in astonishment at the sincere sound of Shizuo's voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Compared to the others I can't really do anything to help find the twins. I'm absolutely useless." Shizuo replied sadly lowering his gaze again.

Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed his one's along the desk forcing him to look up, when Celty shoved her PDA in Shizuo's face.

[Don't say that! You're not useless!]

"Of course I am. Or do you know of anything I could do to help?"

"Well, you could take care of Izaya." the doctor suddenly replied causing the other two to look stunned into his direction.

"What?!" Shizuo shouted loudly just at the moment Celty was writing the very same question on her PDA.

"Well, I just mean that Izaya needs help now. You probably don't know Izaya good enough for that, but he can't handle situations where he doesn't have the control and tends to do something stupid. Who else would be able to stop him in a situation like that than you?" the doctor explained smiling -knowing exactly what strings he was pulling at.

The blond already wanted to shout how stupid the idea was, but then he remembered how Izaya had behaved the time before and stayed silent.

He was still doubting how long he could endure to stay in one room with the flea, but their last goodbye had made him wonder, if Izaya was indeed going to do something stupid.

Like killing the kidnappers, but then Shizuo thought, that the raven would have to know where the kidnappers were for that and he highly doubted that Izaya knew it yet.

Then again, Izaya's breakdown had caused another fear soar inside his head-

That the raven could try to hurt himself.

Or do at least something stupid that would end in hurting himself.

Hearing Shinra say things like that now, that it could indeed be possible that Izaya was doing something totally insane, made the worry inside his chest rise sky high.

And wasn't Shinra right?

If Izaya really wanted to do something who else would be able to stop him but him?

Without even saying goodbye, Shizuo stood up from his seat and rushed out of the apartment leaving Shinra and Celty in astonishment.

Still staring after the blond Shinra suddenly began to giggle happily.

[What is so funny now?] Celty wrote on the PDA after a while.

"Ah, didn't you notice, my heart?"

[Didn't I notice what?]

"I always thought that I was crazy, but it seems my assumptions had been right from the very beginning. Maybe this will finally put Ikebukuro to peace."

["Put Ikebukuro to peace"? What are you talking about?]

"Love, Celty. I'm talking about love."

And with that he pressed a small kiss on his girlfriend's hand before going to the kitchen for pouring him another cup of coffee.

* * *

Shizuo had left Shinra's and Celty's apartment more eagerly than he had intended to.

But the way Izaya had acted before and Shinra's words had him almost driven insane by worry.

He didn't even know when the last time had been that he had hurried so much to a place. But he had managed to reach Izaya's apartment in only a few minutes.

Standing in front of the door Shizuo almost just kicked it down, but he succeeded in calming himself down before doing so.

This wasn't what he wanted Izaya to see of him now.

For once the raven should see his friendly side and not the monster Izaya stated him as.

Taking a deep breath he pressed the doorbell two times, hearing clearly it's sound on the inside.

Relief was taking him over when the raven opened the door and the blond couldn't prevent a smile from spreading over his face.

"Hey, flea."

* * *

 **shinra was shipping shizaya ALL ALONG ! I KNEW IT! *o***

 **figured that you'd like to read more before waiting such a long time ! :) (actually writing my other story was so depressing that I quickly had to write something else xD)**

 **You still have to wait for the fluffy part though tehe :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**And he goes on:**

 **"This is the end, my only friend~"**

* * *

Chapter 5

Actually Shizuo hadn't really thought about what to say to Izaya when he had knocked the man's door. But now, that the flea was standing right in front of him scrutinizing him with baffled eyes, he didn't feel the same certainty as before anymore.

The smile frowned on his face when he looked embarrassed to the side avoiding the flea's gaze.

"Do you mind me ... coming in?" he asked stroking awkwardly with one hand through his hair.

He didn't get any reply at first and was already expecting the flea to just send him home again, but then the raven stepped to the side allowing the blond to enter his apartment.

Shizuo mumbled a quiet "thanks" when he entered the entrance and let his gaze move along the room.

The blond had never seen Izaya's apartment from the inside before, but now that he could scrutinize the furniture he thought that it looked more like a bureau than the home of a young man.

"Are you working here?" he asked facing the raven again, who was slowly closing the door behind them.

"Yes. Sometimes my job requires my whole attention. It's easier this way." the raven just replied neutrally when he came a few steps closer to the blond, both now standing in the middle of the room.

Now that the raven was standing closer to him Shizuo could see the still present shadows under the man's eyes.

 _Hasn't he slept at all?_ he thought noticing that the raven even looked a little paler than the day before.

Indeed Izaya looked unbelievable exhausted, and an alarm began to ring in Shizuo's head when the Informant suddenly contorted his face in pain.

"Are you ok?" the blond hurried eyeing the raven with worry.

"It's fine. Just a little headache." Izaya answered ignoring the blond's concerned look while he walked to the couch he had just laid on a second before and sat down.

Observing every movement of the raven Shizuo could clearly tell that Izaya was _not_ fine. He had never seen the Informant like that before. His movements were erratic and weak. He was walking slowly stepping from one foot to another from time to time as if balancing his body height gave him serious problems. Then the raven let himself drop on the couch, closing his eyes in relief as if his body already missed the pleasurable comfort of sitting on it.

When Izaya opened his eyes again to watch the blond, Shizuo didn't know what to do.

He was standing awkwardly in the room struggling to find some words he could say.

"So ... ehm ... what did you do today?" he managed to press out unsteadily.

A wave of satisfaction was growing inside him, when he noticed that he had indeed managed to start a normal conversation with the flea-

but it died down immediately when he heard a small giggle reach his ears.

His eyes fell on Izaya sitting on the couch and a vein of anger already impended to appear on his face, when he didn't see a genuine smile but the annoying smirk of the louse, that could make his blood boil every time he faced it.

"What, don't tell me Shizu-chan is now interested in what I'm doing in my free time?~" he heard the flea's mocking voice say almost making him lose it like always.

 _Why can't this louse act normal only once in his life?!_ he cursed to himself reminding him of his goal to not let the monster come out.

Still Izaya was doing a fucking great job at enraging him.

"Instead of getting derogative immediately, you could just answer the question!" the blond barked clenching his hands to fists. Concentrating his anger there, it made him wonder how they didn't draw any blood yet.

"Oh, does Shizu-chan want me to treat him like a normal human now?~" the raven chuckled while positioning himself in a more beneficial pose on the couch when he flicked one of his switchblades open and pointed it into the beast's direction. "Well, but Shizu-chan isn't a normal human, so I'm afraid that won't be possible for me.~"

That was it.

Something in Shizuo's head snapped when he saw the sparkling blade in Izaya's hands.

Without thinking he stormed into the raven's direction and tried to grab him with both hands.

But his hands reached for nothing, when Izaya managed to jump up from the couch just in time and landed a mere meter behind it.

A vein had popped up at Shizuo's forehead when he was following the raven with his eyes before going around the couch to corner the man.

Izaya was standing with his back to the wall now, the room too cramped compared to one of Ikebukuro's streets for him to run away.

He was still pointing the blade into Shizuo's direction, narrowing his eyes into slits in preparedness to fight, when the beast was approaching him further and further.

He cursed himself a little for enraging the blond so carelessly.

He hadn't slept or eat properly for hours and his body felt unbelievable weak. Normally a little move like that wouldn't affect him at all, but this time he could already feel his pulse get faster and his breath going unsteady.

The stress had put his body under more pressure than he had expected and the raven was paying for that carelessness now.

When the blond prepared a punch Izaya wanted to dodge at first but the headache caused his vision to get blurry for a moment. Although it was only for a short time, it was still long enough to let Shizuo get hold of the hand that was holding the switchblade.

His other hand was still rushing forward in a punch, but Shizuo managed to step to the side and miss Izaya's head, when he saw the raven hesitate for a moment and didn't want to break the man's skull. The blond was thrown forward by his own strength pushing the raven further into the direction of the wall with him.

Izaya was pressed between Shizuo and the wall now, when the blond's fist rammed the wall next to the raven's head and left a whole inside the massive cement.

The Informant's hand with the blade was still twitching in the beast's hold, but he slowly gave up and let it fall when Shizuo tightened his grip a bit.

"Why do you always have to be like that?! I just wanted to know if you are all right?!" the blond shouted ignoring the smaller man who was struggling in his hold.

Although Izaya was at an obvious disadvantage here, he didn't show any fear. In contrary, he even shot an angry glare at the blond, when he heard the spoken words.

"Why do you even care?! You could give a damn about everything of this!" the raven screamed angrily still trying to push the blond away.

"I care for you, ok!? Whether you like it or not!" Shizuo screamed back only thinking about his words after they had left his mouth.

His eyes widened when he immediately understood what he had just done.

Oh god, why did he tell the flea that?!

Shizuo already prepared himself for the louse's mocking that would definitely follow, but nothing came. Instead of that Izaya was just standing there, his struggling stopped and the Informant's jaw dropped when he finally understood the meaning of the beast's words.

"You ... " he began but didn't finish his sentence and instead just stared at the blond with a stunned expression.

Shizuo on the other hand was surprised to see the genuine expression on Izaya's face.

The raven was seriously at a loss for words and the blond immediately felt a little proud of himself that he had managed to make the infamous Information Broker for once in his life shut up.

Still what he had said wasn't _that_ weird to say - sure, between him and Izaya it was still unbelievable to even think the word _"care"_ \- but it was still a pretty normal thing to say considering the situation the flea had to suffer in at the moment.

Then again Shizuo remembered the things Shinra had said before and he felt a painful sting in his chest, when he concluded that Izaya most probably didn't hear things like that very often.

If Shinra was right, then-

The raven was afraid to get hurt, if he showed someone his true feelings. That's why he had most probably never tried to make any close friends in their group of people - or at least Shizuo had never heard of anything like that.

Thinking about Shinra's words the twins must have been the only people in this world Izaya was really honest with.

They were the only two in this world Izaya had a real bond with, where he could show his true feelings to someone else without being afraid of getting hurt-

where he could at least be his true self and not someone else, who was constantly wearing a poker face.

Realizing this made the whole thing even more painful for Shizuo. He almost felt guilty for getting enraged so easily again although he had exactly known in what kind of inner turmoil Izaya was.

Right now the raven was drowning in deep black water and he needed every little rock he could hold to.

Shizuo didn't hesitate for a second and put his arms around the thin shoulders taking the raven into a tight embrace.

He could hear him breath in sharply for a moment - he didn't know if out of surprise or of anger - but he wasn't willed to let Izaya destroy this moment with any words.

Shizuo had made up his mind.

He would help Izaya.

No matter what it would cost.

If the raven used words to daunt Shizuo, then the blond would ignore them knowing that he was just using them because of the fear of anyone getting close to him.

If the raven was afraid of getting hurt, then Shizuo would never let go of him again. He would embrace the raven with fondness until he was infolded in safety-

Until the raven would know that there was nothing to be afraid of as long as Shizuo was at his side.

"I understand ... that I'm most probably the last person on this planet that you want to show your true feelings to ..." he began still feeling insecure but his words were full of certainty nonetheless. "... but I promise you, that I'll never leave you alone, Izaya."

At first nothing happened. Izaya didn't show any reaction, while Shizuo was still holding him tightly enjoying the pleasant warmth of the smaller man's body in his arms.

After a while Shizuo could feel Izaya finally relax into the embrace. Small hands were buried into his chest making a warm feeling rise inside his whole body. Then the raven put his head softly to Shizuo's shoulder letting the blond feel the raven strands on his neck. He could smell a waft of Izaya's lovely scent causing a slight blush to appear on the blond's cheeks.

Shizuo felt a pleasurable wave go throughout his whole body, but it died down immediately when he heard the silent crying coming from his shoulder.

He didn't know what to do or to say until he finally put one of his hands on the raven's head and began stroking it gently.

Having heard Izaya cry before he knew that this weren't tears of sadness nor of desperation - when the raven had relaxed in his arms, he could immediately feel it. It were tears of joy, of relief for not being alone anymore, for finally letting go of the strain that had been put on the raven's small shoulders and giving some of it to the blond.

Shizuo was happy that he had found a way to help Izaya. Even if it wasn't the greatest thing in the world.

-even if he couldn't find his sisters with this.

At least he could make the raven's pain ease a little bit.

He closed his eyes and just continued caressing the raven strands until he recognized that the crying had finally died down.

"Izaya ..." he whispered the name into the man's ear but didn't get any reply.

Saying the name again he noticed that the raven must have been fallen asleep by exhaustion. The small frame was leaning against the blond's broad shoulder's without any reaction causing a little smile to appear on Shizuo's face.

Without any effort he picked the light body of the raven up and carried him to the bedroom where he carefully put him on the bed.

Now that there wasn't anyone who could interrupt him Shizuo was eyeing the raven's face carefully.

The signs of exhaustion were still visible on the man's face but they couldn't really reduce the man's beauty.

Izaya was indeed beautiful. Shizuo had known that from the very beginning, although he had always quickly abandoned those thoughts whenever they had occurred his mind.

He admired the long black eyelashes, the porcelain skin and the soft lips a little longer when he gently touched the raven's cheek with one of his fingers before he lifted himself onto the bed.

Pulling the blanket over both of them, he took the raven again into a tight embrace and dropped off to sleep.

* * *

 **This is really the last chap you'll get before Spain! Hope you enjoyed it!~**

 **This was actually the first time that I ever wrote something fluffy and I'm still blushing like a stupid idiot xD**

 **Oh my, how am I supposed to write the next chap?!~ ;)**

 **However, please tell me what you think! I'm still pretty insecure about this and I really don't know if it's good or if I totally fucked this up :/**


	6. Chapter 6

**Heyyyooo! xD**

 **I'm back from Spain!**

 **Surprise: When I came back, my mother told me, we would directly do another trip, so at first I thought I couldn't do this Update in time-**

 **BUT HERE I AM!**

 **I had to write this fucking fast though! haha**

 **I actually think it's not really good, but yeah, I hope you like it anyway!**

 **Enjoy reading! xD**

* * *

Chapter 6

The first thing Izaya felt in the morning, when he was coming back to consciousness, was the pleasant warmth his whole body was muffled in.

A small smile appeared on his face when the raven noticed that his own body was feeling warm and safe causing him to let his eyes close for a while longer.

The sensation was so unique that not one thought occurred his mind for a moment - for a very short instance he couldn't remember all the trouble with his sisters, he couldn't remember his pain, and he even couldn't remember that he actually had to stand up.

But this moment was over very fast, when suddenly everything came back to his mind and Izaya could finally manage to think clearly again - making him understand that it was indeed a pair of strong arms that were holding him tight into an embrace.

So strong...

He couldn't even move properly - but actually he didn't really want to move away from there-

from the warmth-

from the safety.

Only bit by bit he started to understand that he was lying in a bed with someone next to him. Someone who was holding him really tight. More like a lover, making Izaya wonder when the last time had been that he had felt something like that.

Then again, the thought hit him that such strong arms could only belong to a man, and his brain- that wasn't working properly this early and directly after sleep- could only force his eyes to open but not to remember the events from the day before.

At first Izaya couldn't even recognize the things around him, then his sight was clearing a bit and he could finally see that this was indeed his own room. He saw his big window from which he could see the moon at night - right now the sun that was standing high in the sky - and his red blankets being put over him and the figure behind him.

Still he couldn't see the person holding him from behind.

His limbs were still numb from sleep, his body feeling weak and the person was holding him with such a strength that he couldn't turn around properly to face the figure.

 _Maybe I should just sleep on..._

The thought was there in his head, but then he remembered that this would be more than irresponsible regarding the situation his sisters were in at the moment.

Concentrating on his sisters the raven managed to force his eyes open more and to turn his head a little to see at least the blond color of hair over his shoulder.

It was still too early, and his brain somehow needed an eternity to put things together in his head.

...

 _Blond hair?_

 _Who has blond hair?_

 _..._

 _Wait..._

 _There is only.._

 _..._

 _Shizuo?_

The realization hit him so slowly, that he could almost punch himself.

How could he have been so stupid?!

Recognizing the blond hair he suddenly remembered the day before clearly now-

when Shizuo came to him, Izaya let him in and started crying in front of him -AGAIN!- and-

what?

What had happened after that?

Izaya couldn't remember at all.

Why was he lying in one bed with Shizuo Heiwajima?! And why was the beast holding him so tightly?!

Like a lover-

 _Ahhhhhhhhh!_

Izaya screamed mentally. He couldn't remember. He was absolutely clueless and it was freaking him out at the moment. Why couldn't he remember, what had happened?

This was important, wasn't it?!

Whatever had happened could be significant enough to change their whole relationship. Did they-

The raven's head was growing bright red when the thought hit him. What had happened the day before?! Why were they here?!

Did he and Shizuo-

No, no, no, no- he couldn't think about something like that now!

This was all too embarrassing! He had to go! He had to get out of this embrace! Had to get out of this horribly embarrassing situation!

Desperately he started to fight against the tight embrace. His hands were grabbing for the strong hands around him, one lying on his waist, the other one lying on his belly, who kept holding him into a strong embrace. He tried to push the hands away, but - of course!- he couldn't do anything against the beast's strength and - although the warmth of the hands was feeling really good - he cursed the difference in strength between him and the monster right now.

When he noticed that there was no way to get rid of the big hands holding him, the raven tried to rob out of the embrace somehow.

He was trying to push himself closer to the wall, while pushing the beast's hands down with his own.

Nonetheless the blanket that was lying over him and Shizuo didn't really make it easier - it made it indeed nearly impossible to escape. Izaya thought that it must have looked ridiculous: the way he was trying to get out of there.

There was no switchblade, no phone and even his brain couldn't help him in this situation. There was only his little body fighting against the big one of Shizuo. And this situation wasn't only frustrating him because he was trapped in an embrace, but also because it showed once again the difference between their bodies and strength.

"Yiieeeekk" A high tone escaped his mouth, when suddenly one of Shizuo's hands slipped under his shirt because of him struggling too much under the blanket.

The warm hand was lying on his bare skin.

Actually Izaya had expected that he would be disgusted - he _should_ be disgusted - but no!

The only thing he felt were waves of electricity going through his body when the touch from skin to skin set his whole body on fire.

He didn't know why he felt that way.

He had never felt like that before. His body had never reacted like that - so _delicate_ \- when someone had touched him.

There was a small voice in his head telling him that it was the beast's fault. Shizuo was unpredictable. Who knew what the man could do? Who knew what the man was doing to his body right now? With only one hand!

Then suddenly Izaya could swear that the hand that was lying close to his belly now, moved for a short moment, and all blood rushed to his head.

This was too much! Not with Shizuo!

Panic began to spread through his whole body and the raven began to try to get out of there even more eagerly. His arms and legs were almost punching the other man now making Izaya wonder how Shizuo couldn't have woken up yet.

But actually at that moment the raven didn't care.

He only knew one thing:

He had to get out of there before the embarrassment would kill him!

* * *

The scratching and kicking finally managed to wake Shizuo.

At first the blond didn't really understand, what was going on. Then he remembered the day before, when he had laid down next to Izaya.

He would have blushed now understanding that it was indeed the raven who was lying in his arms right now, but the flea was struggling so much that he could barely concentrate on anything else.

The blanket was still over them, enwrapping them in perceived safety and forcing them to share their body heats in comfortable proximity- or at least that would have been the case, if there wasn't Izaya who was desperately trying to get out of the embrace.

The blanket had fallen to the side by now, only covering their lower bodies. Nonetheless Shizuo was holding the raven as tight as before, making it still impossible for him to escape.

The blond opened his eyes slightly. He felt the need to see the raven now, the way he looked, his expression and his body, and the way he moved right now struggling for something he couldn't get if Shizuo wouldn't give it to him.

Opening his hazel eyes he could at first see the back of the raven. His face was directed to the other side not showing his expression properly. But the raven was struggling so much, turning his upper body from side to side, causing that Shizuo could clearly see the red cheeks of the flea from time to time.

 _He is blushing ..._

The thought was more of a recognition, but it made Shizuo blush too for a little moment.

Izaya was indeed blushing. The sole fact was already unbelievable, knowing that it was most probably one of those emotions that the flea would have never showed to Shizuo voluntarily. But then, what was even more interesting, was the reason _why_ Izaya was blushing.

Shizuo couldn't clearly know but the reason was most probably the embrace he was holding Izaya with. Meaning that the raven must have been embarrassed by the touch.

If it would have been like that with any other human too - Shizuo didn't know - but the fact that Izaya was acting so delicate and _cute_ towards him, let a small flame spread throughout his whole body.

But it wasn't only his expression - the blushing that was even painting his ears in slight red - but also the way he was moving right now.

Izaya was fighting - actually in Shizuo's opinion he was more scratching without really hurting him and trying to kick himself free somehow, a way of acting that really reminded him of cat at the moment- A cat that was trapped somewhere or that was hold by someone -and desperately tried to get away.

It made Izaya appear even cuter for Shizuo now.

This thought and the fact that the blond just noticed that one of his hands was placed under Izaya's shirt (for whatever reason, he didn't know) made his blush get a bit deeper.

The touch from skin to skin set his body on flames and he really had to hold himself back to not let his hand touch more parts of the flea's body.

Izaya was so unbelievable cute right now that it nearly broke his heart.

He couldn't remember when he had held another human like that the last time- or even if he had ever held another one like that once before, but Shizuo knew that he didn't want to let go of the flea now.

A small voice in his head told him that this was wrong. That this was Izaya. That this was the man, who had angered him nearly his whole life, who had got him arrested and who had most probably tried to kill him once or twice, too. This was the man he had hated the most in this world only a few day ago.

But then again, Shizuo was one of those humans who acted according to his feelings- not to his desires or thoughts, but only to his feelings.

And he definitely knew, that this felt right. This sensation he felt when Izaya was lying in his arms. Here, only them two, safe, and everything else - every problem of this world- could just be forgotten.

A small smile spread across his face when he watched Izaya a bit more. His small hands trying to push his big away, while he tried to rob to the direction of the wall and tried to get out of bed.

A silent curse left the raven's lips when nothing happened and the strong hands were still holding him like before.

Izaya was definitely frustrated now, but Shizuo just thought that it made him look even cuter and a small chuckle escaped his lips, when he saw the raven's intense expression who was hardly thinking of a way to get out.

How could he have never noticed it before?

That Izaya was so unbelievable cute ...

That the raven could actually act like that, that he could actually look like that, show these expressions.

For a short moment he wondered if he had ever shown these expressions to someone else: helpless, sad, embarrassed- all those emotions that made him so human and _cute_ (in Shizuo's opinion). A small sting of jealously crossed his chest at the thought, but then he remembered Shinra's words again- that Izaya wasn't good at showing emotions, was afraid of being hurt - and then he rapidly abandoned the thought.

He guessed, that maybe Shinra could have seen one of these emotions regarding the time those two knew each other- but then the blond thought that he knew Izaya maybe just as long (maybe not) and wondered if he had ever seen them but just couldn't remember.

Then he noticed, that he probably had never seen any of these emotions of Izaya that the raven was showing so often lately, but that the blond had indeed recognized once before that Izaya was indeed cute - or rather beautiful.

He remembered the day before, when his beautiful face had been so mesmerizing that the blond had to touch it. That he forgot the whole world around him for a very short moment and was just seeing Izaya's perfect skin, the rosy cheeks and the glowing lips when his hand had softly stroked along the raven's face.

But it hadn't only been the day before.

Shizuo had noticed Izaya's beauty long ago. Back then, when they had been in high school. Maybe not the first time, but then when he had had the first chance to look at the raven a little bit longer, he could clearly see how beautiful the man was.

Maybe not every detail by one encounter, but bit by bit, he had recognized the soft, shiny black strands, the rosy porcelain skin, the eyes shining like rusty gemstones in the dark shrouded with long and thick eye lashes-

And the lips.

Lips in the color of roses, not as dark and red as the raven's eyes, but still slightly darker then the lips of most people. Sometimes Shizuo could swear, that after a fight of them in the night, those lips were shining in the dark. Whenever he saw them, they seemed to be lighted by the moon or the sun- inviting him.

Every part of Izaya seemed to be a big dichotomy for Shizuo.

On one hand Izaya's beauty seemed to invite the blond, every part of him. Making Shizuo want to get closer, want to look, want to touch- but then it wasn't the kind of innocent beauty surrounding Izaya, not the kind that a princess would have in a fairy tale-

No, it was rather the kind of beauty of a black widow.

The kind of beauty that attracted everyone around, but screamed danger at the same time. And if you were too foolish to get too close, the person of your attraction would trap you and at last destroy you.

Because this beauty wasn't for anyone, it was just a given gift to the person to reach their goals.

This person was not supposed to give love. He was supposed to eat it.

Yes, Shizuo knew that this was rather the kind of beauty that was surrounding Izaya.

But then the raven started acting so cute, so _human_ , showed so many emotions in the last few hours, that Shizuo definitely had to change his mind on the raven.

Suddenly he wasn't thinking anymore that he had to stay away from the Informant, suddenly the proximity to Izaya didn't scream danger to him anymore, suddenly Izaya's beauty wasn't a trap anymore, Izaya wasn't standing above humanity anymore with his beautiful look and his arrogant behavior- no, he was more of a human himself now, Shizuo had noticed.

And noticing that, he changed his mind. Izaya was a human himself, able to cry as sadly as a mother losing her child, able to get as angry as a furious woman and able to struggle against something as harmless as an embrace with all of his strength - and it made him appear _really_ cute.

Suddenly Izaya's beauty wasn't the one of a black widow anymore. It wasn't dangerous anymore. It was more the nice side effect of him being a human being, something that he actually didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to care about at all - Shizuo thought now that he had spend a bit more time with Izaya.

Everything of this, every little thought that occurred in his mind at this moment, made him feel a little bit more at ease, a little bit happier being with Izaya alone right now.

Making him feel that this was right, that this was what he wanted and that this was something he definitely didn't want to lose.

All of this made him forget the world around him, all the problems that had been there just hours ago, they just vanished instantly and all left was him and Izaya.

He forgot everything and only felt the precious moment, when the raven suddenly turned around to him slightly, his eyes widening when he most probably finally noticed that the blond had indeed been awake quite a long time now.

And then there was this short instance where his hazel eyes were staring into the wide rusty eyes, still a bit with confusion and surprise, and Shizuo didn't know what he was doing, he didn't even care-

His sight finally fell on the shining lips right in front of him, that have caught his attention so often now, and without any more thought he just closed the gap between them and pressed his own lips on the raven's.

* * *

 **I have to update "Blinded" before the next chapter of this, because I'm really stuck on that story. Nonetheless I'll try to update this at the end of August again. ^^**

 **Reviews please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm baaaaack ...**

 **I'm sorry for the late update :'((**

 **Life's been so busy and blah blah, I know I'm lame T.T**

 **Whatever, here ya go!**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 7

At first Izaya couldn't quite understand, what was going on.

Maybe it had been his perplexity that had made him be unable to notice the look in the blond's eyes. Although he definitely knew, that he had seen a hint of the blond's next action after their eyes had met.

And still Izaya couldn't clearly define it at that moment, couldn't tell that it actually would happen- that actually something _could_ happen-

But then the blond's lips were on his own, and it was all that the raven could think about.

Izaya just felt the soft touch on his lips at first and his brain needed quite a lot of time to understand, that this was not just a normal pair of lips that was kissing him- that this was no unimportant person who was still holding him-no, it was still no one else than Shizuo himself.

The Shizuo that Izaya knew since high school now.

The Shizuo that Izaya used to hate and to go on his nerves-

and then everything had gone upside down, everything had changed starting with his horribly embarrassing breakdown in front of the beast's eyes.

And whatever his inner voice tried to tell him - that Shizuo was the man he loathed - he still knew nonetheless that the blond had helped him.

Maybe he hadn't found his sisters, but for whatever reason the beast had helped him, had brought him here and calmed him down.

Despite of every thought Izaya could feel the heat in his veins, when the kiss literally revived his soul anew.

And though he could tell with every of his cells that the sensation in his body felt unbelievable good - better than anything else before and he definitely didn't want to let go - there was a small voice inside telling him, that he still didn't know Shizuo well enough to know, what the man was actually doing here.

Everything he had known about the man until now, had been two things:

1\. Shizuo was utterly strong. Not to say most probably the strongest man on this world.

2\. Shizuo hated him. Or at least that was, what the blond had always said and it had been proven by his violent behavior towards the raven.

So, although his body was telling him to keep on, lean into the warm embrace and the soft kiss, his mind told him the exactly opposite: that the blond could just break his neck any second.

This voice constantly telling him, that this situation meant danger, made him finally try to get out of the embrace again.

But how to get out?

He hadn't managed to do it before, when the beast had apparently still been asleep.

Then how was he supposed to flee from the embrace while Shizuo was holding him even stronger than before?

His hands started to press against the beast's chest. At first only slightly, but enough to feel the blond's heartbeat under his skin. Then, when he noticed that the man wasn't giving in at all, he tried to press harder, but it showed no reaction.

The embrace was even deepening, bringing their faces closer together.

Shizuo's hand was still positioned on Izaya's back. The heat they were sharing through their embrace, the soft touch of their skin and the intimacy they experienced through their touching lips let the raven finally relax.

Probably his brain would have finally realized that the blond wasn't going to break his neck any second, but at that moment it was already overfilled with the unique sensation making him forget their surroundings.

The raven's small hands left the blond's chest and wandered to his back giving in to the embrace as to the kiss.

When his lips parted a little - not on purpose but by the pure feeling of the moment - the blond immediately let his tongue slip between the raven's rosy lips.

At first Izaya was surprised to feel the other man's organ inside his mouth but then the blond started to deepen the kiss.

Their tongues were entangled- sometimes only ghostly brushing over the other's lips or teeth in a soft way for not bringing slight pain upon each other by letting the kiss become in any kind violent.

The raven lost himself in the moment like never before -only slightly realizing the fact, when small moans were leaving his throat while he was still returning the kiss as passionately.

He could feel breathing becoming difficult knowing that he would have to break away from the kiss if he didn't want to suffocate any time, but he was thrown out of the sensation before this could even happen.

Suddenly the raven felt the blond's hand, that was still lying on his back, brushing over his skin and by that action taking up his shirt and revealing more of the raven's skin.

That very second his mind formed the thought, that the blond was probably trying to get his clothes off and Izaya already started to slow the kiss down.

But then he realized what that actually meant - what would be the next step if he was going to take off their clothes - and his hands were faster between their faces than Izaya could actually think about what he was doing.

His lips backed away from the blond's and he saw Shizuo's eyes open in confusion.

"Please stop" the raven whispered before he could even understand the words himself.

He immediately kind of regretted them, when he saw a slight spark of hurt in the man's eyes.

But it vanished as fast as it had appeared.

A more look of perplexity filled the blond's eyes while he stared into the raven's and then a deep red spread across his face, when the blond finally understood the situation they were in.

With a swift movement Shizuo let go of Izaya and brought a few space between them by pushing him softly away from him.

The missing proximity and heat let both of them feel a lot colder and empty all of a sudden, but neither of them vocalized their sensation of lost.

* * *

"I'm sorry" Shizuo murmured, when he let his gaze fall to the side, because he couldn't muster up the courage to look into the flea's face.

How could he have lost his control so easily?!

Suddenly there had only been the raven's lips and he just had had to kiss them.

He mentally cursed himself for that, because he knew, what this action could probably entail.

Not only could the raven just throw him out now -and he would actually really understand that reaction - but Izaya could also use this against him.

God knew, what the man could do - blackmailing him or getting him arrested again - and there stayed a silent doubt inside the blond's mind, but right then the pure sentiment of being ashamed by his action beset Shizuo more.

The debt collector wasn't only embarrassed for this delicate situation, but he also felt a weird mix of shame and guilt by having the idea, that he could have disturbed the other man's privacy.

Therefore the blond hoped, that his sincere apology - although it had only come out as a mere whisper - was enough to let Izaya forget about the thing, that had just happened.

Shizuo raised his eyes a little after the words had left his mouth to see the raven's face, but instead of the anger or scorn that he had expected, the blond could only see the other man's red face clearly showing his embarrassment.

"It's fine" Izaya finally said then his voice still a little hoarse from the long kiss- and Shizuo' s face was almost growing red again, when he could feel the heat inside his body increase.

The raven then slightly turned his head to the sight to avoid Shizuo's look in embarrassment, but the blond only noticed the more skin on the raven's neck, that was revealed by doing so. Immediately he had to suppress the need to kiss that sensitive part of the other male's body.

"It's just .." the raven started to speak again and pulled the blond out of his trance "too fast."

And then Izaya looked into Shizuo's eyes very serious making the blond wonder if any of his doubts had ever been really necessary.

When the raven subsequently asked him if he understood, Shizuo just nodded, because at first the blond had realized that he had acted way too fast regarding their actual relationship and secondly he had just noticed, that the Informant didn't reject him.

Thinking about that fact his heart made a little skip and Shizuo asked himself if Izaya could have just liked the kiss the way he had done.

The way the raven had returned the kiss clearly spoke for it, but the blond was pulled out of his thoughts when the Informant suddenly moved and got out of the bed.

Shizuo just followed the raven's movements with his eyes not knowing what to say.

This situation still felt too ridiculous and embarrassing for continuing their conversation - if he could even call it that, for them only having been able to change a few words.

The blond was sitting on the bed now the blanket merely covering his legs anymore, while Izaya was already standing next to the bed.

It followed a moment of silence.

A rare feeling of emptiness filled the room and although both of them still felt connected and embarrassed by their kiss at the same time, the intimacy from before had been already gone.

Both of them felt the room suddenly being too small for the two of them at one time and neither of them knew how to react to the other one.

It made Shizuo feel worse by giving him the feeling that he had somehow destroyed something precious, but he was more than grateful when the raven suddenly turned around to him and started to form words.

"It's still early. You should take a shower, while I'm going to make us breakfast."

Izaya's voice sounded normal, not angry or resentful, more neutral or even soft letting the blond's worry ease a bit.

Still the raven's eyes were avoiding the blond's gaze, they were directed into his direction but not facing his eyes, while more looking at the space next to him.

Shizuo didn't know why Izaya wasn't showing them - maybe to not show his true emotions at that moment? - however, the blond was grateful for it because every little outcome of hidden emotion could have worsened this already tensed situation.

For that he vocalized a quiet "Sure", before the raven went out the bedroom and closed the door behind him without facing Shizuo again.

As announced Izaya was preparing the breakfast, while Shizuo was taking a shower.

It took him some time to come up with something, that could actually be called "edible" regarding his pretty empty fridge that he hadn't thought about while talking to Shizuo.

However, it was still enough to prepare some Miso soup and fish nonetheless, therefore he didn't really fear to lose his face in front of Shizuo because of a not well-prepared dish.

Still he couldn't really concentrate on his task, when all that occurred in his mind were the blond and his soft lips.

Why had the blond kissed him anyway?

And why had it felt so good?

Izaya sighed.

How was he supposed to understand Shizuo's feelings or motives if he couldn't even understand his own?

The raven remembered that moment, when he had finally understood that the blond wouldn't hurt him.

It had been a strange sensation- a sensation he had never felt before with someone else who wasn't a part of his family.

It had been a sensation of pure safety and intimateness. Izaya hadn't needed to fear anything at that moment, and although he was pretty sure that he was facing the biggest crisis of his life at the moment, he had felt like Shizuo was taking all the bad things away. He just pulled the raven into an embrace and all the problems would disappear in the pleasant warmth of the blond's body.

Shizuo's embrace had still been the one of a monster though. Way too strong to escape, but even that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

A small smile appeared on the raven's lips when he remembered it.

But he immediately felt embarrassed afterwards, when it reminded him of the passion that had grown between them as an indispensable result of their shared pleasure.

Izaya didn't know what to do.

Not only couldn't he tell why the blond had kissed him so passionately, but he also couldn't say if the blond would try to do it again or not.

All he could surely tell was, that there was no way for him to hide the fact to himself, that he had found pleasure in returning the kiss.

And Izaya knew that he had almost been drowning into it.

Therefore he highly doubted that he could resist the blond if that one was going to approach him again- touching him with those big hands and kissing him with those soft lips.

Then again he asked himself if he even wanted to resist again.

With that said could he still claim to hate the man?

Izaya was pulled out of his thoughts when he suddenly heard the bathroom's door open.

He turned around to face Shizuo who was - thank god - not wearing only a towel but instead took on the clothes he had slept in, which were obviously the only clothes he had there.

Izaya thought for a moment, that the blond could have just asked him to lend him some, but then he thought that they wouldn't have fit the beast anyway and just threw the idea away.

Shizuo's hair was still slightly wet letting a few drops land on the bottom, but Izaya decided to not care about that fact and just showed the blond with one swift gesture to take a seat at the small table inside his living room.

The taller man didn't say anything, instead he just walked into the mentioned direction and took a seat on the couch next to the table where Izaya had already put the dishes.

"You want to drink something?" the blond heard from the kitchen.

"Do you have milk?" he asked back while turning his head around to the raven.

This one didn't say anything further and brought a glass of milk with him before putting it in front of the blond.

Shizuo mumbled a small "thanks" before Izaya sat down in front of him and they began eating.

None of them said a word.

Shizuo wondered if Izaya was angry at him now, but his behavior didn't seem like it. Until now the raven had been friendly and hospitable despite of not really talking with him.

But who could bear him a grudge because of that?

After kissing the raven out of the blue the blond had expected something far worse as reaction, but Izaya acted more or less normally - well maybe for his usual mocking self the raven acted even better.

Shizuo didn't know if he should feel assured by his action or not. However, he knew that he wouldn't find out if he didn't talk to the man.

But instead of just coming up with some stupid topic he decided to look for something more appropriate by observing the man in front of him - which wasn't really hard because Izaya seemed to strongly avoid his gaze by concentrating on his food.

Shizuo observed the raven carefully, how he was taking small pieces of vegetable into his mouth and chewed nearly unrecognizably on them while holding the chop sticks with his elegant hands.

The delicate long fingers fell into his sight and the blond admired them for a moment before a silver sparkle attracted his attention.

"Say, I noticed that before, but are you always wearing those rings?"

Izaya raised his eyes in surprise not having suspected any conversation.

His eyes fell on Shizuo who was still watching him carefully, then to the ring at his right hand holding the chop stick, and then back to Shizuo again.

"Yeah, they are a present of my parents." He just answered and started to shove new pieces into his mouth as if the question was answered with that.

Not many, because it didn't take long for him to feel full and he finally put the chop sticks to the side of his plate.

His eyes rested a little longer on the empty dish in front of him, before he finally raised them to look into Shizuo's direction again.

"Do you have to work today?" he asked and the blond felt at first a little surprised that the raven would actually ask him something like that.

"Yes" Shizuo just answered shoving the last pieces into his mouth before he finished eating too.

At first nothing followed, a weird space of silence was filling the room again and Shizuo already felt the need to say something - just something - but then the raven stood up and started bringing the dirty dishes into the kitchen.

And suddenly there was the feeling inside the blond's chest that he had just missed a precious chance, so he just coughed slightly before using the apparently gone chance nonetheless.

"You know, you could come with me if you want."

Shizuo had expected a total rejection, but what he heard was a slight laugh. A laugh that was no mockery, but apparently Izaya's way of cutely letting a laugh escape his lips by accident that made Shizuo's body grew hot again immediately.

"I have to work too, Shizu-chan. Namie will arrive soon and I want to take a shower before. You should go home too, so you can change your clothes before you go to work."

Shizuo ignored the question in his head, who exactly Namie was and what kind of relationship she had with Izaya and instead concentrated on the fact that he actually really was supposed to leave Izaya alone.

Could he just do that?

Regarding the things that had happened, his mind was telling him to stay, because he didn't know what the raven could do, although he had to admit that Izaya was looking way better than the day before.

Shizuo knew he shouldn't leave him, but he had to go to work nonetheless and he was pretty sure, that he couldn't convince the man to just skip his own work and come with the blond.

Shizuo sighed before standing up. He brushed with one hand through his hair before facing the raven with serious eyes.

"I will come back here after work."

The tone was definite.

Izaya had never seen the blond like that before. Still he knew that there was no way to object the blond's decision. Shizuo had made it clear. He would come back whether Izaya wanted that or not.

So instead of saying anything the raven just nodded not hiding his surprise by the blond's behavior, before he continued cleaning the dishes.

He had already turned around and only heard the door closing when Shizuo finally left his apartment.

* * *

"Shizuo, are you okay?"

Shizuo snapped out of his thoughts, when he heard Tom's voice.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

His senior was watching him with worried eyes. They were sitting in a café Tom had suggested after announcing that it had been time for a little lunch break. Tom had been eating a piece of cake, while Shizuo had ordered a big ice cream sundae, but instead of shoving it rapidly but still enjoying into his mouth, the blond just started to pick at it with the spoon.

Seeing the blond not savoring his food made Tom really worried. Immediately the idea overcame him that something must have happened to his junior.

"I asked if you are okay. You really seem kind of absent today. Don't make me worry. It's not normal for you."

A flash of guilt appeared in the blond's eyes when he heard his senior's words.

"I'm sorry that I made you worry" he answered his gaze dropping to the table in dismay.

Tom sighed.

"It's fine. It's not only part of my job to worry about you, but it's also my duty as your friend. So, why don't you tell me, what happened?"

Shizuo raised his eyes again. Sometimes he really didn't know what he did to deserve such good friends, when it seemed that all what he did was worry them.

"It's because of Izaya."

As fast as the words had left his mouth Tom's eyes widened in surprise.

Of course, he could kind of understand Shizuo's worry. After all, he had been at Shinra's apartment too, when the kidnappers had called the raven and this one broke down afterwards.

"Ah yeah, are there any news yet?" he tried carefully to not make his junior even more upset.

The blond just shook his head and Tom sighed again.

The man could really understand why it made Shizuo so upset. Tom was upset himself now because- although he wanted to help- he couldn't think of anything that he could possibly do for the raven.

And he was pretty sure that Shizuo just felt the same way.

Still he couldn't quite understand why the reason for Shizuo's dismay was Izaya and not his sisters.

After all, the sisters were the kidnapped ones.

Tom could definitely understand why Shizuo would worry about them, but about Izaya?

Even if the raven had that breakdown in front of him, the blond was apparently still supposed to hate the man just like years ago.

So what was going on?

Or did Tom miss something significant?

"Did something happen between you and Izaya?" he asked the blond carefully. This one just nodded slightly while still staring on his sundae and Tom figured that it must be something very delicate to let Shizuo act like that.

"Well, I hope you didn't kill him by accident."

Actually it was only meant as a joke to lighten the atmosphere a bit, but Shizuo's head shot up immediately.

At first Tom didn't know if he should take that action as a confession and a great apprehension was already spreading inside his chest, but the blond shouted a loud "no" faster than he could vocalize his fear.

"It was actually the opposite." Shizuo added after calming down a bit.

Tom didn't quite understand. Wasn't the opposite of Shizuo killing Izaya Izaya killing Shizuo?

Well, but Shizuo was sitting right in front of him, therefore the thought was pretty much ridiculous, but then, what did the blond mean by his words?

Maybe the opposite of _kill_? But what exactly was the opposite of kill?

Tom just figured as much that Shizuo probably meant it more as the change of _to not like_ and _to like._

So, Shizuo liked Izaya now?

Well, that was good. That _was_ good, right?

Shizuo seemed pretty private about the topic and Tom didn't want his friend to feel forced to talk about it. Instead he decided to help his friend in a vaguer way.

"Did you like it then?"

Silence followed for a moment, Shizuo obviously rethinking everything that had happened before he finally answered with a quiet "Yes".

Tom gave his friend a cheery smile.

"Then why are you so broody? You can get pensive, when you get into an argument or fight with him. But as long as it feels good, just enjoy it!"

Shizuo's eyes widened a little.

He thought about his friend's words and came to the conclusion that they were right. He hadn't forced or harassed Izaya in any way. No, the raven had even returned the kiss and had been utterly friendly in the morning- in a very unexpected way though, because before Shizuo hadn't thought that Izaya could ever be as gentle.

Maybe his reaction had only been out of shock though, but for now Shizuo decided to listen to his friend's words.

As long as it felt good and Izaya wouldn't reject him, Shizuo would try to get closer to the raven and maybe discover more parts of him, that Izaya had successfully hidden until now.

A smile spread across the blond's face when he finally started to eat the ice cream heartedly.

 _Yes, it had felt really good._

* * *

 **Reviews please! I want to try to update this more often! ;D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to those who always leave a review! They make me really happy and ensure me to write this story on! *-***

 **You're such good readers *sob***

 **Please tell me though when you think I should change/improve something.**

 **As a writer it's my goal to improve my writing, so I can make you enjoy reading this~**

 **This chapter isn't that long, hope you enjoy anyway!**

 **We're getting some action now~ ;D**

* * *

Chapter 8

Mikado Ryugamine was currently walking along the street his eyes nearly falling close, although he desperately tried to force them open.

He had tried everything.

Everything that had come to his mind.

But nothing had helped.

He hadn't been able to find the Orihara sisters.

Mikado sighed. He guessed that nearly the whole Dollar network knew about the missing sisters until now. At first he had doubted if he should really use the dollars for this purpose, but then again he couldn't think of any other way. What other method could he use than his special position in the dollars?

Still it hadn't helped at all. Apparently no one had heard of anything or had seen anything that could be in relation to the kidnapping.

It frustrated Mikado. Again he wasn't able to help his friends. Then for what was he even useful?

Drowning in self-pity and guilt caused by his uselessness he nearly didn't noticed the vibration of his phone.

His fingers fumbled it more or less torpid from his pocket but his eyes widened wide when his brain finally understood the words that his eyes were reading over and over again.

"Ha!" The sound escaped his lips by accident, but he couldn't suppress the sudden rush of adrenaline through his veins.

He read the message again, a dollar member had just sent him in private mode.

 **A: I may have some information to the missing girls that you were searching for. Want to hear?**

Without hesitation Mikado started a reply. Maybe this was his chance. Finally! Finally he could help Izaya. Finally he could help Mairu and Kururi.

 **T: Sure! What do you know?**

 **A: I was talking to a friend on the street. Suddenly there came a big pitch black van and a bunch of black wearing guys grabbed two girls walking along the street forcefully into the van. I followed them by motorbike until a deserted warehouse outside of the city.**

 **T: Did you try to get help?**

 **A: I tried to tell the police but they weren't believing me for whatever reason telling they wouldn't have time for this if I don't have any proof. But I was too scared to go alone.**

 **T: It's fine. Can you tell me the direction?**

The anonymous member immediately sent Mikado the description of the way to the warehouse.

Mikado thanked the member and promised to look into it.

Though there stayed a silent doubt inside him, that the member could be lying. From his time in Ikebukuro he knew until now that there really was a bunch of dubious guys here lying to others for whatever ill reasons, and Mikado couldn't quite understand why a person would do something like that.

Still he knew that this was the only hint he had until now.

He hadn't heard of someone else finding out something, therefore this was probably the only hint they had in this case at all.

He had to try it.

"I have to tell Izaya" the brown-haired boy mumbled to himself and automatically went into the direction of the Informant's apartment.

Izaya would know what to do, he ensured himself while thousands of thoughts were running through his head, that he couldn't quite organize in the short time he had left.

* * *

Izaya was sitting in front of his computer currently working at an errand for the Yakuza while Namie was sitting in the other corner.

They hadn't spoken a single word today. For Namie this was totally fine. She saw the connection to Izaya as only work based, therefore she highly appreciated when the raven for once in a while kept his annoying mouth shut. But it was very rare, that Izaya wasn't saying a word at all and she wondered if something might have happened to the man. Still she didn't like him enough to really care.

The raven was working calmly, although he definitely knew that this was the wrong task for him.

He shouldn't look for some stupid guy, who had spoiled things with the Yakuza, but for his sisters, who at this moment needed someone's help more than anyone else.

Izaya had to suppress a sudden rise of aggression against his own uselessness.

After he had figured that he wouldn't find out anything by himself he decided to trust his "friends" and wait for them to find something out.

This was not only a problem because Izaya hated feeling useless, and the current working he was trying to gain one billion Yen with- although he clearly knew that he could never afford something like that- made him even more aggressive against himself. At this moment the raven surely hated himself for just sitting there and doing nothing.

But relying on other people was also a problem for the Informant because it challenged his one but truly fear: trust.

Izaya had never trusted anyone, except for himself.

Although he felt highly connected and reliable for his family, especially his sisters, he couldn't say that he would trust them in all aspects.

He wouldn't entrust his work issues to his sisters in the way he did to Namie.

And he would never entrust his familiar issues to Namie.

If he could even use the word "entrust", because the raven would describe it more as a way of expectation. He told a person something and then he waited for that person to act in a very specific way. Rather saying he expected the person to do something that was highly advantageous for him. Therefore he didn't trust anyone to find his sisters, rather he expected of them to try to find them.

It made it even harder for Izaya to endure the long wait. His missing hope, the hope that anything positive could happen, was shattered by his lack of trust into his "comrades".

Right at the moment Izaya saw himself more in the middle of a road. At one end of it there were his sisters' dead bodies, covered in blood and nearly unrecognizable, causing him to mentally look away from that direction. At the other end, how strange as it was, there were pictures of his youth, of his home actually, where he had been playing with them, had talked to them or just joked around.

Though the other end was clearly the worse one, this one made it harder for him to endure all of this.

Because he was standing in the middle, unable to move, unable to act, waiting for something to happen, something that he couldn't influence or predict, making him finally realize that all of this was so fucking unpredictable.

This whole world had broken to pieces, that once had been pulled by his strings, but now he was a mere puppet and couldn't do anything against it.

So fucking unpredictable! Oh, how he hated this!

It made him think of Shizuo.

The blond had never been predictable.

He had never acted according to the raven's plans.

And then that beast had even dared to...

Izaya's body grew hot. He didn't know if it was because of the things he remembered or the fact that he was still feeling very aggressive because of his situation.

He couldn't even tell, how angry he was at himself.

At first he seemed to be absolutely useless and powerless, and then he hadn't even been able to act rightly, when the blond monster had kissed him.

The more Izaya had thought about it, the more he was sure Shizuo had played him some kind of weird prank or the beast had just tried to get rid of some stored sexual tension (because the raven was pretty sure that no one else was willed to get touched by the beast with his inhuman strength) .

Whatever it was, Shizuo had done it because he was fucking unpredictable, like this whole fucking situation, like everything that seemed to happen lately and the raven wasn't willed to let anything more unplanned happen.

Even if he couldn't deny it to himself that it had felt good, that he was actually missing the beast's gentle touch- Izaya had decided to not trust Shizuo too much when it came to their personal relationship.

He couldn't let this get to him. Izaya was already busy with trying to calm himself down because of his sisters. He didn't need the trouble with Shizuo now. Still every of his fibers screamed for the man. He wanted Shizuo near, he wanted the blond to hold him and his lips were craving for the other man's soft touch.

But what if Shizuo wasn't seeing it that way too?

What if the man had acted just on an impulse, hadn't known what he had been doing and afterwards when they had been talking he had just behaved friendly, because just like Izaya he had felt embarrassed and hadn't known how to react to the situation?

The raven was still sure, the monster would do anything in his powers to help his sisters, but that didn't mean that the two of them could just change their relationship all over again.

After all Shizuo hated him- he loathed Izaya the most in the world.

Or not?

Not _anymore_?

Did the beast change his opinion suddenly?

Upon what grounds?

Izaya froze. How was he ever supposed to understand, let alone predict, the blond's decisions?

Izaya sighed staring tiredly at the screen in front of him.

 _Time to admit that we have to change, hm Shizu-chan?_

An ironical grin had appeared on his lips when the thought came to his mind, but it vanished immediately when the bell at his front door began to ring-

and again and again, it wasn't stopping!

A slight fear was crawling up his spine. For whatever reason the raven didn't know if he should go to the front and open the door or not. It was an unexpected event and after all the unplanned shit that happened, the raven had to admit that he slightly started to fear the unexpected.

He changed a concerned look with Namie, but the woman was mostly staring neutral against the door, then back to Izaya giving him a questioning look what was going on.

"Orihara-san, it's me, Mikado Ryugamine! If you are there, please open the door!" Izaya heard the boy from the other side of the door, after this one must have figured out that no one was going to open it.

A sigh escaped Izaya's lips when his body relaxed and he walked into the direction of the door.

"Please tell me before, if he's trying to kill you. I don't want to get into any trouble, let alone die." Namie said in her usual tone causing a slight smirk on the raven's face.

"How can you even think something like that. Maybe Namie-san didn't notice, but I became utterly popular the last week~" he chirped, but didn't turn around to face her, though.

"What is it, Mikado?" the raven asked after opening the door. The fact that he had obviously ignored the boy's ringing before wasn't mentioned.

"I got a message from a dollar member that he witnessed two girls getting kidnapped and being brought to a warehouse out of the city! I think...I mean, it could be possible that ..."

"Alright! Let's go!"

Izaya's eyes had widened immediately when he had heard the boy's words.

He cursed himself for his hesitation at opening the door before.

How couldn't he have thought about the possibility that it was someone who had found out something about his sisters ?!

Without hesitating the raven turned around to his chair grapping the jacket hanging around it with one swift movement.

"Izaya" Namie said perplexed, not understanding what was going on. She actually didn't care, but when the woman had seen the facial expressions of the raven, wandering from something like fear to surprise and then from realization to worry, she wasn't sure if it was really clever to _not_ know about the stuff that was going on.

If it could cause such a change in the raven's face, then it must be something really significant.

However, she never got her explanation.

"I don't have time to explain that to you now." the raven just shouted when he grabbed Mikado by the hand- who was at that moment just as surprised as Namie- and ran with him out of the apartment closing the door behind them.

They were faster out on the street than Mikado could have looked around and the brown-haired boy wondered how Izaya could have been able to wink them a taxi within a few seconds.

"Have you told Anri Sonohara about this yet?" Izaya asked while shoving him into the taxi.

"No..." Mikado could barely react in time, when the taxi driver was asking him for the address just at the same moment.

He told the man the address while handing his phone to Izaya, who was scrolling swiftly through the chat messages.

They already started driving, when Izaya handed the phone back to him.

"You should send her theses messages. Maybe she knows someone who could help us."

Mikado kept the question to himself, why Anri should know someone important and just started typing instead.

In the corner of his eye he could see Izaya who started fumbling with his own phone definitely dialing a number.

His eyes widened when he heard who the raven was calling but he didn't say anything, though.

 _Whatever, hard times call for hard measures._ Mikado just thought continuing to message Sonohara.

"Shizu-chan, Mikado Ryugamine has a hint where the twins could be. I'll send you the address." Izaya made his phone call as short as possible knowing that the blond wouldn't approve of his sudden action.

Mikado heard the protest on the other end of the call but Izaya just ignored it and let his phone slip back into his pocket.

He suppressed the disquieting feeling inside his belly, that he didn't really want to let his name fall during a conversation of _those two._

As strange as it was that Izaya was calling Shizuo Heiwajima of all people, who the raven was supposed to hate - if Mikado remembered it rightly- the brown-haired boy didn't want to get into any trouble with those two, because -if he was honest- he wouldn't survive a single minute between them.

He didn't know if the two had become friends suddenly, but even if not, he could still quite understand why the raven would call the blond.

After all, if the kidnappers were armed or outnumbered, the blond's inhuman strength could be of high advantage for them.

However, he didn't vocalize any of his thoughts neither did he ask the Informant any question.

Because even if Izaya was able to hide his true turmoil behind a strong facade, the boy could feel the tensed aura around the man and although he knew that Izaya wouldn't hurt him, a slight fear came crawling up his back by the thought of talking to the man right then.

 _I wouldn't like to be one of the kidnappers now._ He thought ironically, before his eyes were directed back to the street.

This was going to be a long drive.

* * *

"Shit!"

Shizuo cursed when the call had ended after just one sentence of the raven.

He had to control his anger to not break his phone with his bare hand.

How could Izaya be so utterly selfish?!

Hadn't the raven get until now that Shizuo was worried about him?!

 _I guess, I'll have to beat it into his memory._ The blond thought angrily while flipping his phone back into his pocket and turning around to Tom.

"I'm sorry, Tom! I have to go. I promise I will tell you later!"

Tom nearly hadn't any time to give his assent, when the blond immediately dashed into the other direction.

The senior was staring perplexed at the back of his junior, before turning around mumbling a quiet "whatever" to himself.

Meanwhile Shizuo was already running into the direction of the address, that Izaya had sent him immediately.

Passengers were eyeing him worriedly when he was running by as fast as he could.

He couldn't hesitate. Who could know what the raven would do, when it came to his sisters?

Shizuo only knew that he would do anything for his brother, most probably going berserk at the kidnappers- but Izaya wasn't Shizuo, Izaya couldn't just throw a street lamp at them and everything was fine-

If the kidnappers were going to attack him, what could the raven do?

Throw a fucking switchblade against a gun?!

Why didn't Izaya wait for him anyway?!

His teeth pressed angrily against each other in frustration while a row of curses slipped his mind.

 _Don't do anything stupid, Izaya!_

* * *

 **For those who think we are close the end: Nope! We haven't even reached 1/2 of this story yet~**

 **There's going to happen so much more tehehehe, and don't forget that "supernatural" is still one of the ratings *^***

 **(that will only happen during the last 1/4 of the story, though)**

 **OR NOT?!**

 **Who knows ;D haha~**

 **#aReviewaDayKeepsTheWriter'sBlockAway**

 **-J.B. out**


	9. Chapter 9

**Heeyy xD**

 **Okay, at first a little announcement~**

 **I wrote an awesome story with Sakurai Ichizaya called "Electric Heart". *-***

 **If you like Drama and a little Angst, check it out on her profile! Link is on my BIO~ xD**

 **Okay, that's it!**

 **Here's the new chapter! Hope you enjoy reading!**

* * *

Chapter 9

When the taxi finally stopped at the foot of a small hill, Izaya carelessly threw a couple of banknotes towards the driver before storming out of the car.

When Mikado saw Izaya running up the hill, he nearly forgot to apologize to the driver for the raven's behavior, before he got out of the car, too.

Closing the door Izaya was already meters away and the boy had to hurry desperately to catch up with the Informant.

"Izaya! Wait!" he tried to scream, his lungs already hurting when the breath was taken out of them.

Apparently the raven didn't hear him because he just kept running.

The anonymous dollar member had written that the warehouse was outside of the city, behind a pair of small hills, therefore very deserted and almost no one would find it if the person wasn't looking for it.

Mikado could understand that the raven would be desperate to find his sisters and hurry, but he kind of regretted, that he hadn't waited for someone else, when breathing became painful for him and his legs got slower- and Izaya was still several meters away from him.

How was the raven able to run so fast?!

Mikado was almost stopping being out of exhaustion, when he saw Izaya becoming a lot slower too, before the raven finally stopped.

The brown haired boy could only see the Informant's back but he figured that Izaya was able to see the warehouse.

His assumption was proven, when he stopped close to the raven.

The house was placed on a rank down the hill. Consisting of wood it would have almost get lost in the dark, but through a couple of windows shined a light, that was clearly certifying the attendance of other people.

Mikado looked to the side trying to get a good look on the raven's expression. What was he thinking?

But when his eyes saw the seriousness in the raven's Mikado figured that he wouldn't like what was going to happen next.

All he could hope for was for Sonohara-san or Heiwajima-san to arrive really fast.

* * *

Izaya couldn't believe it. There really was a house in the middle of nowhere. Though he had trusted Mikado's words, there had still been a little doubt left, that there actually wouldn't be anything out here.

But now, that he saw it with his own eyes, he almost couldn't believe that this was real.

The blood began flowing through his veins so rapidly, that the wind's noises were replaced by the sound of his heartbeat throbbing inside his ears.

Thoughts were overflowing his mind. A sole warehouse could mean anything. It could been used for trading or for stowing things, but this one was in the middle of nowhere. From the street they had come from it wasn't reachable with the car and, though his eyes were pretty good, Izaya couldn't see any other way or street to reach it through the hills.

So, why would someone place a warehouse in a non-reachable area, if not for hiding something.

Realization and dread were increasing inside his chest rapidly causing his breath to become loud and unsteady.

For a short moment Izaya wasn't able to remember his surroundings, he even wasn't able to recognize Mikado, who was worriedly observing him from the side.

For a very short moment there was only the warehouse inside his view.

The warehouse where his sisters could be.

His living sisters.

His dead sisters.

He couldn't know.

What if...?

Should he go?

Izaya had to suppress the urge to vomit, when thousands of horrible pictures were racing through his mind.

But after all, after every little picture filled with the red color of blood, Izaya knew that he had to go.

Even if there was the possibility, that his sisters were dead, he had to go. Because there was still the hope, that they weren't. And if this hope was true, his sisters were in there, alive, afraid, maybe with their kidnappers ready to kill them, then Izaya had to go. He had to go there immediately.

He couldn't lose control now. He had to stay concentrated.

 _Abandon those pictures from your head!_

If they were really dead, he could still lose his mind after entering the house.

Blood was still rushing in his ears. The raven closed his eyes and tried to calm down. He soothed his breathing, concentrating on breathing in and out constantly.

In

Out

In

Out

Izaya felt the blood inside his body slow down and it's sound was replaced by the rustling of the wind through the trees during the night.

A final long breath left his mouth, before his eyes opened.

The warehouse fell into his eyesight again, but this time it didn't cause dread appearing inside him.

One final look to the house, then he turned to the brown haired boy next to him.

The worried look on Mikado's face would have normally made him smirk, because no one was worried about him generally, but this time was different and there was no way he could force a smile on his face in this situation.

"Orihara-san ... I think we should wait for the others." The smaller boy mumbled, not sure whether it was the right decision to talk to the raven now or not.

For a short moment, Izaya was only looking at him, the strong eye contact making Mikado become insecure.

"No. I'll go. You'll wait here for the others." The raven said after a while.

Mikado's eyes widened.

He didn't know what to do. What was the right thing? What the wrong?

He didn't even managed to open his mouth to a reply, when the raven already began to storm into the direction of the warehouse.

Mikado followed the raven with his eyes in shock. Could he really let the raven go alone?

But, on the other hand Izaya seemed to be a good fighter and Mikado wasn't, so maybe he would stand in the man's way when he would follow him.

So should he wait for Heiwajima-san or Sonohara-san to appear?

"Mikado-"

Mikado was almost close to panicking when the sound reached his ears. He turned around to see where it came from and looking into same the direction from where he and Izaya had reached this, he recognized Anri Sonohara running towards him.

"Sonohara-san..."

Her breathing was deep and unconstantly just like his before when she stopped close to him.

"Where is Orihara-san?"

For a short moment Mikado had felt relieved seeing the girl finally getting here, but her question made him feel desperate immediately again.

"He's already gone to the warehouse" the boy mumbled his gaze pointing to the deserted house a few meters away.

Sonohara's gaze followed his and her eyes widened when she noticed the slightly illuminated house in the darkness.

"Sonohara-san..."

The almost whispered name drew her attention back to the boy next to her, who was now abstractedly looking to the ground.

"Before... Orihara-san said that you might know someone who could be able to help us here...Do you?"

Anri's eyes widened at the question. Mikado seemed strange while not facing her, but she decided to not get distracted by it.

"No. I don't know anyone." She just answered.

Anri knew what Izaya had meant by saying this, but neither didn't Saika possess any of the people inside the warehouse nor did she want to talk with Mikado about this now.

This wasn't the right place nor the right time for a discussion like that.

"I see." The brown haired boy replied before she could go further with her thoughts.

Mikado was facing her now a small smile placed on his lips, before his expression became serious again.

"What shall we do?"

Anri thought for a moment.

"I think we should go and help Orihara-san. The kidnappers may be dangerous."

Mikado nodded. "I thought so too, but he told me to wait." He said his gaze going back to the house. "Maybe we should wait for Heiwajima-san."

"Heiwajima-san...?"

Anri kept the question to herself why of all people Shizuo Heiwajima was the one to come and help Izaya Orihara.

She was pretty sure that they were the biggest known enemies in Ikebukuro.

Maybe...?

"Hey! You two!"

She was dragged out of her thoughts when the shout reached her ears. Both she and Mikado turned around to notice a figure running towards them. In the darkness they were only able to recognize the frame of a big man approaching them with utter speed.

* * *

Though Izaya was filled with adrenaline and anger - always an unfortunate combination - he decided to not just storm through the front door, but at first try to get a look on the inside first.

Carefully he was tiptoeing alongside the outer wall trying to get closer to one of the windows of the rearward house part.

Though the wind was engulfing most noises, he could clearly hear voices from the inside.

The raven couldn't understand what they were saying, though, but he managed to recognize the firm voice of a man.

Getting closer to one window, the voice became louder and when Izaya finally stopped under the glass, he could even recognize the spoken words.

"Oi, what are you doing?" A man said, though his voice had an insecure tone.

"What?! We went through the stress of kidnapping them! So why shouldn't we play a little bit with them?" Another voice answered maliciously, maybe the leader of the group, Izaya couldn't tell clearly, but he brought up the courage to get an eyeful at the inside, when he raised his head a little.

From the inside the window was covered in some kind of dirt, making it hard for him to recognize any details, though he was relieved that the kidnappers couldn't see him like that either.

He saw the back of two men, though the raven was sure that there were more inside.

Otherwise those two were perfect fighters - and they surely didn't look like it - or his sisters had been kidnapped by some stupid trick, because against those two they would have clearly won in a fair fight.

One was just standing there looking annoyed to the other one, who was holding a thick wooden stick with his right hand.

Izaya tried to get a better look on the inside, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't find any hint of Mairu or Kururi.

Suddenly the man with the stick in his hand started laughing and hit strongly with it against a big wooden box in front of him.

At first Izaya didn't know what the man was doing but then he heard a small whimper escape the box. It was so quiet, that he already thought, he just imagined it, but then the man hit the box again, and this time he could clearly hear a girl's voice whimpering.

Izaya's eyes widened in shock.

It couldn't be!

Mairu and Kururi!

They were-

inside the box!

* * *

Shizuo didn't know how far he had run when he finally reached the address Izaya had sent him.

On the way there he had once taken the wrong direction. Frustrated he had noticed that he had gotten lost just at the time where every second counted.

Angrily at himself and also at Izaya for not waiting for him, a sudden rush of aggression had streamed through his body.

Storming on he had just run through a sick wall between two streets to get back on the other side - the right side.

When his hand had met the thick material it had just broken through and he had been able to run through a big hole in the brick.

Now that he finally reached the destination, he hoped that a spark of relief would spread across his body, but he couldn't find the right control over his anger.

Small hills were placed in front of him, he sprinting over them with wide steps, sometimes almost falling over small holes or hummocks inside the bottom he couldn't see in the darkness.

He already thought that he had lost orientation when suddenly a small light came into his eyesight.

Shizuo almost just ran towards the little light in the night passing the two figures at his side, but he noticed the silhouettes of the brown haired boy and the girl with glasses just in time and came to stop with turning his body to the side swiftly.

Facing them he noticed the shocked expressions on their faces not knowing if it was because of his sudden appearance or the possibility that something terrible might have happened.

"Where is Izaya?" He asked.

Mikado had opened his mouth before the question had slipped Shizuo's lips, but the angst-inducing tone of Ikebukuro's strongest, though it wasn't meant like that, made him close it again immediately.

The blond's breath was going unsteady and his face seemed more enraged than anything else.

Doubts were spreading inside Mikado's mind.

Was he really here to help Izaya?

But why would Izaya call Shizuo and tell him where he was, if he knew, that it would enrage the blond?

Mikado was confused and the angry expression on the man's face that was getting angrier each second let him merely whisper his words.

"He is... already gone" The reply finally left his mouth when he showed with his finger to the direction of the warehouse. The blond followed the movement until his eyes fell back to the illuminated place.

If it was even possible Shizuo's eyes became a pair of angry slits, before an annoyed sound left his mouth.

Mikado's eyes widened slightly in fear, apprehending that the blond might get one of his freak-outs, but except for the annoyed glance nothing followed, before the blond turned to him again.

Instead Shizuo kept a rather cool behavior.

"You two wait here."

"But-"

"No, you wait here. Don't worry. I'll bring Izaya back."

Mikado didn't say anything else, instead just exchanged a worried look with Anri, before Shizuo dashed off to the warehouse.

"What shall we do?" The girl asked insecurely while staring on the blond's back who had rapidly brought a few meters between them.

Mikado hesitated for a moment.

He knew that Shizuo was strong and he kind of trusted the man, but-

It didn't reduce the bad premonition that was spreading in his chest ,when his eyes followed Shizuo's silhouette disappearing into the night.

"Let's go, too." He said resolutely.

Anri just nodded, but he could see the certainty in her eyes.

This was the right decision.

They shared a final look, before following Shizuo into the darkness.

* * *

When Shizuo got closer to the warehouse, he couldn't trust his eyes at first.

A small figure was standing in front of the house, seconds away from opening the front door.

And Shizuo would always and everywhere recognize this figure.

"I-ZAA-YAA!" he screamed in the hope that the raven would actually wait for him.

But Izaya ignored him or didn't hear him - though Shizuo was sure that everyone must have heard him - anyways, the raven just opened the door, light falling for a short moment on his body - and Shizuo could clearly see the dead serious expression on the raven's face- before he disappeared inside the warehouse.

Angrily Shizuo sprinted the last few meters, almost not able to stop in front of the door because of his speed.

Immediately his glare shot to the inside, searching for the raven, but instead he just saw a couple of men, 3, no 4 men, that were standing like frozen perplexed staring into one direction.

And when he followed their eyes, the blond could finally see what was making them freeze.

It was a very angry Izaya, jumping with his opened switchblade towards another men, dragging him to the ground.

At first Shizuo thought that Izaya would clearly win, but then he saw a thick stick inside the man's hand and feared that the raven could get hurt.

He didn't hesitate long and entered the house too, but he managed to go only a few steps before something hard hit him from the back of his head.

A strong pain was spreading through his whole skull, and Shizuo didn't know if his head was bleeding or not, but he didn't care. There was only one thing, he could think about, when he turned around to face his attacker.

"Kill Kill Kill Kill" he repeated like a mantra, almost not recognizing the afraid look on the other man's face, a 6th man.

The man was holding a metallic pipe in his hand, though it fell to the ground when he started to tremble in fear.

"I..It's..Shi..Shizuo Heiwajima!" he managed to scream before Shizuo grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him through the next wall.

Immediately the other men were concentrating on him and lost sight of the raven, who was still pinning down the other one.

Izaya looked up when he noticed in his anger, that Shizuo had entered the warehouse. He stood up from the other one to look into the beast's direction, who was currently surrounded by four men.

But his worry disappeared, when he noticed that Shizuo was fine and didn't need any help, though his head was stained in red highly recognizable on the blond hair.

A content smile appeared on Izaya's lips, when he felt a great relief, that Shizuo was finally at his side.

Just then he saw Mikado and Anri Sonohara coming through the door and Izaya felt certain that they would win this fight.

"You take care of those guys! I'll free Mairu and Kururi!" he shouted towards them. His smile widened, when he saw Mikado smiling and giving him a sign to not worry, before he and Anri faced the group closing in on Shizuo.

But the raven's smile vanished really fast, when he saw a shadow appearing over his head, and he turned around just in time to see the guy he had just pinned down standing behind him.

He sprang to the side to avoid the man's firm hit with the stick.

From the side he could see the angry expression on his face and most people would have been afraid to death when such a big and muscular man would look at them with that kind of eyes.

But Izaya wasn't like most people and he had already fought way more dangerous guys before.

The man wasn't really an opponent for him. With one swift movement he managed to kick him strongly into the face. The raven heard a loud crack under his shoe and figured that he must have broken the man's nose, but he didn't really care when the guy fell bleeding to the ground.

Instead he just rushed into the direction of the box.

There was a metallic lock in front of it, but it would have been laughable if Izaya wouldn't be able to open it.

He fumbled a small tool from his pocket and started to break the lock open.

"Don't worry. I'll get you out there!"

He mumbled more to himself, because he hadn't heard anything of the two inside for quite a while.

Nonetheless a content look appeared on his face widening into a cheery smile, when he heard the sound of the lock opening.

But it vanished immediately, when he ruptured the box open and saw it's inside.

In shock he stared into a surprised face gaping at him with huge bluish eyes.

...

"Who are you?"

* * *

 **Review?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Me at the beginning of university: "Oh hey, they are making party all the time, this is going to be so chilled~ xD"**

 **Me now: "WTF! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STUDY SO MANY THINGS AT THE SAME TIME!?"**

* * *

Chapter 10

Izaya couldn't believe it.

How could he have been so stupid? So unbelievable blind and naive?

Why had he never once thought about the possibility that this was not going to be the happy ending he had hoped for? Why had he let himself get lost in the sweet assumption that his sisters could actually be here?

Still staring at the unknown girl in front of him his legs started trembling and he lost control over his balance. In disbelief he fell to his back and sitting on the cold ground, his vision slowly began becoming blurred.

It felt like his inner mind wanted to punish him for making this mistake. For letting everyone see his human side, the hope and relief inside his heart and the love for his sisters, that actually no one should have ever seen. For breaking his own rules.

Then for making the mistake of wasting his precious time, when he could have found his sisters instead and not these unimportant girls, he didn't even care about. He wasted the precious life time of his sisters, that could be dead by now, could have died one second ago, while he had ignorantly fought a weak guy lost in the hope for rescue.

So stupid.

So useless.

Suddenly his blurry vision started to turn black at the corners of his eyesight. The blue eyes of the girl were still in the middle of it, but the black darkness was encircling the little girl in front of him more and more.

At first it seemed like the box in front of him was disappearing into the distance, but then Izaya noticed that it was his own crazy eyesight turning everything in front of him into black.

Nonetheless his mind wasn't able to fully understand what was going on, let alone try to understand it, when all he could think about was that he had left his sisters alone. Maybe even caused their deaths in this very moment.

 _So useless._

The words were repeated in his head again and again.

And then everything turned black.

* * *

Shizuo didn't know what was going on.

His concentration had been on the men surrounding him, when Izaya had suddenly felt into his eyesight.

The blond had figured until now that Mairu and Kururi were supposed to be in the box that was standing in front of Izaya, when the raven had desperately started to approach it.

For a few seconds - that had been at least how it had felt to Shizuo - the blond had abandoned Izaya from his eyesight to concentrate on a man attacking him with a pipe.

Those guys were small fishes, weak and stupid enough to actually attack Shizuo Heiwajima, though it was already well known how hard it was to bring the man down - if not even impossible for a normal human being.

However, the man tried it nonetheless and Shizuo just grabbed the pipe with one hand, while punching him with the other one sending him flying through the hole, the first guy had left inside the wall.

Three guys were still left and Shizuo was furious to punch the shit out of them, but then he saw Anri and Mikado coming from behind the guys.

A small smile appeared on his lips when he saw the confident expressions on their faces and when he noticed that he was still holding the pipe in his right hand, he decided to throw it through the air.

His attackers were watching him with confused eyes following the pipe's movement through the air, before it finally landed in Mikado's hands a wide smile spreading across his face.

Their eyes widened in shock when they finally noticed the two intruders, they hadn't recognized before because they had been two concentrated on the blond monster.

Noticing that their attention had left him Shizuo dared to look into Izaya's direction to find out whether the raven had been able to free his sisters yet or not.

But his eyes widened in worry, when he just saw Izaya's sitting figure. His hands were lying motionless at his sides, his switchblade on the ground. The blond's worry increased because from his position he wasn't able to see Izaya's face nor the inside of the box.

Shizuo could only guess, what the raven had seen inside the box, but the fact that his by black hair surrounded face was hanging down, his eyes rather fixed on a spot somewhere on the ground, told him that it hadn't been very pleasant.

It didn't take long for him to decide on his next step.

He grabbed the guy that was standing between him and Izaya with his hands and lifted him into the air. The man's eyes widened in surprise and shock, when he indeed had forgotten about the blond for a few seconds before a scared scream left his mouth, when Shizuo threw him through the wall.

Though the other two guys were staring at him now, he decided to leave them to Mikado and Anri, who was surprisingly holding a sword in her hand now, that he hadn't noticed before.

However, Shizuo couldn't think about anything else than Izaya right now, and the two seemed to understand when they started to attack the remaining guys, while he ran into Izaya's direction.

"IZAYA!" The blond screamed, but the raven apparently didn't hear him, because he didn't reacted, didn't even twitch, when the blond had shouted his name.

Shizuo's worry increased and he got slower when he approached the raven, whose face was still covered by his black hair and for that not visible for Shizuo.

Coming to stop next to the raven, Shizuo's head turned to the box trying to find the reason for Izaya's behavior.

His eyes widened in disbelief when he saw the box's inside, in the front a young girl with brown hair and blue eyes, in the back a blond one with green, both definitely not known by him.

Though the horrible conclusion stayed in his mind Shizuo wasn't driven by the same shock as Izaya. Instead the blond managed to put all his concentration on the raven, he worried about now even more than before.

"Izaya, are you okay?"

The blond closed in on Izaya more, trying to get a better look on the raven's face. Shizuo expected tears or another proof of sadness on the his face, but instead he just saw a masque of apathy mixed with something he couldn't define clearly - maybe fury, anger- or hate?

"You fool."

Shizuo almost didn't hear the words, when Izaya whispered them. Worriedly he tried to find some kind of emotion or something of the Izaya he knew in the raven's face, but nothing changed.

"Izaya?" Shizuo tried again, not making any sense of the raven's words.

"You are useless." The raven whispered and this time Shizuo could clearly hear the hatred, that was dripping out of each word.

The blond didn't know what Izaya was talking about nor did he know how to react to the raven's insane behavior. He wanted to try to speak to him once again, but just at the moment that Shizuo opened his mouth, the blond noticed something in Izaya's face that made a thrill go over his skin and through his flesh.

Izaya's eyes were red.

Not that rusty-red color, that his eyes sometimes had whenever light was shining at them or Shizuo concentrated on the color. No, it was more the color of blood. The color of rubies in the dark. It was a color he had never seen before and Shizuo was sure, that it wasn't normal.

Even if Izaya had eyes in the scheme of red, even if his eyes were highly illuminated by light, Shizuo knew that they wouldn't be able to shine like this.

Worriedly and a little scared Shizuo put his hand on the raven's shoulder.

"Izaya?" He asked again squeezing the raven's small shoulder with his hand, while he brought his other to the raven's face and turned it into his direction.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm here for you." The blond added when Izaya's face finally was on one line with his own. The better look on the raven's eyes let a slight fear go through the blond's veins, but for Izaya he decided to keep his cool behavior and forced an ensuring smile on his face.

His hands still on the raven, Izaya suddenly twitched under the blond's hands and his eyes shined up when they were connected with Shizuo's.

For a short moment Shizuo saw the rubies widen in surprise, before they suddenly went back to the normal color he was used to.

Shizuo blinked a few times to see if it was true. The strange eye color and the cold look on Izaya's face were gone, and instead the raven was staring at him with a confused expression.

"Shi- Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked slowly apparently not able to understand the situation nor why they were in this awkward position.

Still in shock Shizuo needed some time to handle the things he had just seen, but his worry about Izaya overtook his thoughts rapidly again and he just decided that his mind must have played him a trick before.

It must have been some kind of optical illusion. There was no other way.

Suddenly the blond noticed the raven's head becoming bright red and only slowly he understood that it was because of his hand, that was still lifting up Izaya's face from his chin.

As if he wanted to kiss him.

Immediately Shizuo let go of Izaya, while his own cheeks turned bright red.

"Are you fine now?" The blond asked his face turning to the side, when he couldn't bring up the courage to look into the raven's face in embarrassment.

Izaya blinked a few times in confusion, before he turned his head towards the box at his side, the two girls still staring at him.

Shizuo could see the raven's expression freeze and the atmosphere around them changed immediately.

Following Izaya's eyes both of them fell silent for a few seconds.

"Yeah. I'm fine." The raven finally said and Shizuo faced him this time.

"We will find them, Izaya." He tried to ensure the raven, his hand still lying firmly on the raven's shoulder.

Shizuo couldn't believe it, but Izaya even managed to bring up a smile.

"Yeah. I know." The raven said putting his own hand on Shizuo's and the blond could swear that his body immediately grew hot again when he felt the touch from skin to skin. Though Izaya's hand was cold, it was still Izaya who was touching him and Shizuo had noticed by now that whenever the raven acted cute - just like now- he had the unbelievable urge to kiss him.

Nonetheless Shizuo was sure that this wasn't the right time for something like that and instead he just nodded, before he got up from the ground and helped Izaya coming to his feet.

They shared one last look before turning around to Mikado and Anri, who had already won against the men and were now casually walking towards them.

Only a bit later all of them understood, that the situation was a win and lose at the same time.

* * *

"So you two have never seen one of these girls?" Izaya asked the brown haired girl in front of him again.

"No, I'm sorry." She answered shaking her head.

The raven sighed.

After they had told the girls, that they were here to save them and had gone out of the warehouse, Izaya had tried to ask them a few questions about his sisters.

At first the girls had been really shy, almost scared of him (and he didn't know why because normally children kind of liked him), but after a few more tries they started talking to him, though nothing useful came out of it.

They had never seen his sisters nor had they ever heard of them.

His mood was again at a very critical level between just starting to cry or kicking something with all his power out of despair.

But everyone was watching him with worried eyes. Something that made him want keep composure and to puke at the same time.

He didn't need their pity. He was fine! What he needed were his sisters, only one little hint to know if they were still alive or not, that would be enough for him. But instead he was still walking through the dark.

Pathetic.

"Take care of them." He said turning to Anri and Mikado. The brown haired boy gave him a slow nod, before the raven turned around and walked a few meters away.

Izaya needed the distance now. He needed something that would cool his head. Something like the cold wind of the night killing all the noises around him. Only its regular blowing was heard and Izaya closed his eyes for a while.

It was peaceful.

All he could feel was his own breath.

"What are you doing?" He suddenly heard from behind him and he turned around only to see Shizuo walking towards him.

"I needed to regain composure. I felt kind of ... uneasy." The raven tried to explain hoping that the blond would understand.

Shizuo was observing him for a while, before he walked closer to the raven. Only a few centimeters away he was able to see the raven's eyes, illuminated by the shine of the moon and reflecting it with their beautiful color, though it wasn't the color Shizuo thought he had seen before.

"We should go home and rest." The blond said and he felt content, when he saw a small smile appear on the raven's face.

He didn't know if it was the atmosphere of the nature around them, the silent wind singing into their ears, but Shizuo had never felt as complete as now and he was sure that Izaya felt the same. It was as if everything around them was gone and only the two of them were left in a peaceful world.

"Yeah." The raven answered then and he got closer to Shizuo and -to the blond's surprise- took him into a light embrace.

"It wasn't them." The raven whispered sadly and Shizuo understood.

"They are still alive. We will find them." He whispered into the raven's right ear. He could feel the man's little hands grabbing his shirt from behind and holding tightly to it.

The blond returned the embrace. He knew that it was all he could do now to help Izaya. Just hold him. That would do it. It wouldn't heal the illness, but the pain would be gone for at least the next seconds.

The wind was blowing the sweet scent of Izaya's hair to his nose and Shizuo's face turned red during that moment and even remained like that when Izaya finally let go of him. Embarrassed Shizuo looked to the side gliding with one hand through his hair. He only turned back when he saw the beautiful smile on Izaya's face again and he just couldn't let go of the sight.

After all that happened Izaya was still able to give him a smile and Shizuo couldn't even vocalize how happy he was about that fact.

Still there was one single thing left that he needed to get clear about.

"Hey, what was that before?"

Izaya looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Why were you acting so strange before in the warehouse?"

Instead of an answer Izaya was just giving him a questioning look. Shizuo gulped. Could it really be that Izaya didn't remember?

"Can you remember what you did after you found out that your sisters weren't inside the box?" Shizuo tried and a strange fear started spreading inside his chest when he saw the musing expression on the raven's face.

"I opened it and I was shocked. The next moment you were right beside me." The hint of a smile was shown on his face, when he said the last words, though it vanished really fast. "Why are you asking?" The raven added instead and observed Shizuo with piercing eyes.

Shizuo stayed silent for a moment.

"Do you remember saying something before you noticed me?"

"No." Izaya hurried in confusion. "Shizu-chan, what's wrong? Why are you asking me all those questions?"

Izaya indeed didn't seem to remember anything of what he had said in the warehouse.

 _You are useless._

Shizuo gulped at his memory. He was sure that he had heard those words and he was also sure about the strange color in Izaya's eyes.

What could have happened at that very moment, when Izaya had opened the box?

Maybe it wasn't Izaya, who was turning insane but him, who had imagined all these things. Shizuo sighed. There was no way in continuing to worry about it. Izaya definitely didn't know and without the raven, Shizuo wouldn't be able to find out anyway. For that he just decided to put it aside.

"Nothing. I was just very worried, when I saw you." The blond answered and he was content again, when he saw a smile spreading on Izaya's face.

"I guess then, Shizu-chan is still too worried to let me go home alone~" The raven chirped and if Shizuo didn't know better, he would say Izaya was flirting with him.

"Hell, I'm too worried to let you live alone until your sister's are back!" He replied causing a laugh to escape the raven's mouth.

"How nice of Shizu-chan! I always wanted to have an own bodyguard~" The raven sang while passing Shizuo in some kind of dancing motion.

Shizuo just grinned at that, before he started following the raven.

Still a small doubt was left inside his head. Izaya seemed too calm making Shizuo think that the raven's cheery behavior was just once again a way of hiding his true despair.

But for now Shizuo was sure, that no matter what was going to happen, he would remain at Izaya's side and protect him.

* * *

 _Izaya's eyes opened slightly, when the moon's shine was falling once again on his face. The big round planet was shining in an abnormal silvery color and the raven had to blink a few times to notice, that it also was way too big for being real._

 _Looking from his window it seemed as if he was directly living next to the moon._

 _The second thing that appeared strange to him, was the fact that he was lying in his own bedroom._

 _Izaya could clearly remember that he had gone to Shizuo's home the night before and the blond had even been friendly enough to give Izaya his bed, because the raven had appeared so exhausted to him._

 _It had been totally strange, but Izaya had indeed been too exhausted and hadn't protested at the blond's idea._

 _However, now that Izaya figured that the whole situation wasn't normal, there was only conclusion left for him: He was dreaming._

 _And if that wasn't strange, than he didn't know either._

 _Were people supposed to know that they were dreaming while they were sleeping?_

 _Izaya had always thought that this wasn't possible and he surely had never heard about something like that._

 _Curiosity overtook him and he wanted to stand up and get to know his new discovered dream world, when suddenly something strong got hold of his legs and pushed them into the sheets._

 _Izaya's eyes widened when he saw the blanket that was lying over his body, began to be raised into the air._

 _Afraid he stared at the blanket in front of him, that suddenly stopped moving. Izaya could still feel the firm grip on his legs. Actually he wanted to run, but he couldn't, no matter what he was trying, and he feared that the thing sitting on him would do something if he started to move._

 _Still Izaya had to see._

 _His hand wandered to the end of the blanket and began lifting it -and his eyes widened in fear, when he saw the thing under it._

 _It was his own self, that he had seen before in his dreams. It was watching him with shining bloody eyes and a malicious grin was spread all over its face._

 _Suddenly it grabbed Izaya at the side of his hips and pulled him down. The raven tried to scream or to fight, but he was too driven by fear, when he was pulled under the blanket._

 _The demonic thing started giggling, when the raven lied directly under it, his eyes staring at it widely. Though it was dark under the blanket, its eyes kept shining in red._

 _Izaya could feel that his body was trembling, although he wasn't able to move at all._

 _"This is not real." He whispered to himself and the malicious grin of his double widened, when a row of giggles escaped its lips._

 _"What if it is?" His doppelganger replied and Izaya twitched at the coldness of the voice._

 _"No. This is a dream." The raven tried to ensure himself, but the thing just kept giggling._

 _"Well, if the mind doesn't want to admit, pain should do the trick~" It then started singing with his malicious voice and Izaya only understood the words, when a big blade started growing out of the other's mouth._

 _"Why don't we see if your eyes can become as red as mine~" It then giggled._

 _The horrible meaning behind his words only started spreading inside the raven's mind when the blade was slowly lowered towards his left eye._

 _In shock the raven tried to fight back, but the thing above him was just too inhumanly strong._

 _"No! Let go!"He started screaming, but it didn't change a thing._

 _The only reply was the malicious giggling, he heard until the blade began cutting into his eye and was slowly put deeper inside._

 _"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

 _At that moment Izaya couldn't hear anything else than his scream, when pain was the only thing left inside his body._

 _Wasn't this the moment where he should wake up?!_

 _Why wasn't he waking up?!_

 _"Now Izaya, tell me: What is real?~"_

* * *

 **Sorry for the long wait. My life is seriously fucked up right now.**

 **I will try to update constantly nonetheless, because the next chapter is going to be fluffy.**

 **And everybody needs fluff in his life *^***

 **Review, if you want~**


	11. Chapter 11

**Heyyy, J.B. back.**

 **I'm so sorry for the long wait x'(**

 **Time and motivation just wasn't on my side lately, for different reasons: me and university: the eternal fight, and me falling back in love with SinJu... ^^'**

 **However, now I'm back! I kind of don't like this chapter, but I had the same feeling just with Chapter 10 and your reviews were motivating me to write on! Thank you all so much! I'm lucky to have such good readers! *-***

 **Well, enough babbling ! Hope you enjoy reading~**

* * *

Chapter 11 

At first Shizuo blinked once, then twice, before he finally came back to consciousness. His eyes slowly opened, getting used to the darkness around him. He was lying inside his living room, lying across his couch while using the whole space it had to offer.

Only slowly his memories came back, of the night before when he had offered his bed to Izaya and the raven, who didn't seem amused though, had accepted it tiredly.

A hand reached to the strands falling into his face, tiredly pushing them away, while the blond was wondering why he had woken up at such a time of the night. Normally he was a deep sleeper. He wasn't one to wake up before the first sunbeams in the morning.

Pushing the blanket that was lying over him away, he came into a sitting position, when suddenly a strange noise reached his ears.

At first Shizuo couldn't define it, but then he heard it again and he only when a scream reached his ears, he was able to recognize it as a groan coming from his bedroom.

Izaya!

The blond immediately jumped to his feet, dizziness capturing his head for a moment caused by the sudden movement and in the darkness he couldn't see the desk in front of him clearly enough before he bumped with his foot again the wood. He heard a little crack probably caused by the fact that he destroyed it, but he ignored the sound and the light pain in his toe only concentrating on the sounds that were still coming from his bedroom.

Stumbling through the room he almost expected to not find the door in time, but within what seemed like mere seconds he reached it and slammed it open.

For a short moment he just stiffened and watched the scene in front of him with wide eyes.

Izaya wasn't just screaming like he had a bad dream. No, he was rather _fighting_ , tossing and turning around from one side to another, kicking and punching around with his feet or arms, that it appeared as if he was trying to get rid of something. But Shizuo couldn't see anything except for an hysterical flea, screaming as if he was in utter pain.

Sometimes words like "No!" or "Get off!" were heard between them. Shizuo didn't even want to know, what the raven was dreaming about, when it was able to bring someone like Izaya into such a state.

Without any further hesitation he hurried next to the raven grabbing his shoulders with both hands.

"Izaya!" he shouted, but the raven rather got more hysterically, now trying to push Shizuo away.

The blond increased his strength and tried to shake the flea awake while avoiding his kicking limbs.

"Izaya! Wake up!"

Only now, Shizuo noticed that the raven was drenched in sweat, the shirt sticking to his skin.

Slowly Shizuo got seriously worried. He had never been before in the situation to have to wake someone up from a bad dream - but he was sure that it wasn't supposed to be that hard to get a person awake.

"IZAYA!" he screamed. Shizuo shook the raven more, now even pulling him off the sheets more harshly. He was sure that a normal person would have woken up by now, but his doing rather seemed to have the opposite affect noticing that the flea was nonetheless still punching around, his face distorted by pain and fear.

Seeing this expression on the raven's face Shizuo saw only one last way to get him awake. Hauling off his hand - of course restraining his strength, though - he slapped the raven with his bare hand into the face.

The sound was filling the whole room, and for a short moment nothing was heard. Shizuo immediately kind of regretted his reaction. Nonetheless happiness was running through his body, when he noticed, that the raven had finally opened his eyes.

They were widened, though, staring in shock at the things around him, while Izaya's breathing was kind of unsteady. The raven was obviously shaking and Shizuo gulped nervously observing the man from the side.

When the raven's eyes finally fell on Shizuo , the blond wanted to say something at first, but his words stopped inside his throat, when Izaya suddenly wrapped his arms around his neck and took him into a tight embrace.

At first his face was a pure mask of confusion but after a few seconds Shizuo lost himself into the warm feeling and returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around Izaya's small figure, one hand placed on his black, the other one on the back of his head, where his hand started to caress the black hair softly.

He could still feel the raven shaking and Shizuo tightened the embrace.

"It's fine. It was just a bad dream." He whispered at the side of the raven's head. He could feel the small hands tightening their grip at the back of his shirt.

"Please... don't let go of me..."

The words were merely whispered and still a little hoarse because of the earlier screaming, but Shizuo heard them nonetheless.

His concentration fell on the little figure inside his arms and only then he noticed, that Izaya's body was feeling awfully cold. He loosened the embrace a bit, just enough to move, and grabbed the blanket lying behind the raven, and put it around his thin shoulders.

"Don't worry. I'm not letting you go." He mumbled more to himself. Putting his arms back around the raven, he tried to give some of his own heat to the smaller man.

He couldn't see Izaya's face for the raven's head was still lying on his shoulder. Therefore Shizuo's eyes widened in confusion, when he felt the hands on his back loosening their grip and the raven moving and rustling with the blanket in front of him.

Shizuo let the Informant loosen their embrace, though his eyes were never leaving the man's face. Suddenly Izaya's eyes fell on his. The blond couldn't define what he was seeing, but for a short moment he felt strangely connected to the raven, like they were the only ones left in this world, like he had felt at their first kiss.

Heat was growing inside his body, but Shizuo ignored it in worry about the raven. When he thought, that he was about to say something, most probably to protest, he opened his mouth to a reply. He wanted to tell him, to calm down, to forget his dream, because the blond would protect him and that there was nothing to worry about.

But the words, that Shizuo expected never came and like that never left his mouth.

Instead Izaya pressed his lips on his. At first only slightly, only the sole sensation of lips on lips. Still they were almost causing the blond to lose himself already.

One of the raven's hands wandered towards the blond's face softly touching his cheek, while the other one rested on his arm. The touch sent little waves of electricity through his body, and though Izaya's hand was cold like stone Shizuo felt like he was on fire.

When his mouth opened in surprise by the touch of his cheek, the raven didn't hesitate and let his tongue slip into the blond's mouth. The wet organ was slowly gliding over his teeth before deepening the kiss, to that Shizuo responded more than happily.

Not wanting to worry the raven the blond just gave in into the soft kiss, only getting more passionately when the raven started to initiate it himself. It didn't take long until their kiss became just as passionately as their fights. When Izaya wasn't concentrating on trying to dominate the blond's tongue, he would play with the blond's lips, biting down on them, just enough to send a wave of painful passion through Shizuo, but not enough to draw any blood from them.

If Shizuo wasn't driven by lust, he would probably question the sudden change in the raven's behavior, but Izaya was way too good at driving him crazy.

The hand that had hold to his arm wandered to his shirt and got a hold of it, while the other hand that had been positioned at the side of his cheek was now slung around his neck. The raven was holding tightly to him and Shizuo just returned it by holding him close around his waist and starting to push him back into the sheets.

A hand came into his hair, grabbing it and holding his head in place, when Izaya deepened the kiss again, from now and then biting down on the blond's tongue.

Both of their lips were swollen by now, the color of their faces red and the breathing was going more and more unsteady, but neither of them seemed to care. Especially Izaya, who was holding onto the blond as if his life was depending on it. His kissing appeared just to grow as furious and desperate.

It was then that Shizuo got out of his trance, noticing that something was not right, that the difference to their first time was way too obvious. And though he liked everything about it - the sensation, the passion, the growing heat inside his body - he retreated a little, when he noticed that the raven was starting to fumble with his belt.

Within the time of a second he stopped the kiss and got a hold of the small finger, that were desperately trying to get rid of the leathern thing.

Shizuo knew that it was the right thing to stop this now. He knew, that if he wanted this to work, then he had to stop it before they were going too far. And what was nearly breaking his heart, was not the fact that he had stopped something that he himself would have loved to do - but the look that Izaya gave him right afterwards.

It was confusion. It was shock. It was sadness. But what was even more significant, it was chagrin. It was the kind of look a person had, when he was rejected. But this was not, what Shizuo wanted Izaya to feel. By now Shizuo knew that he would never reject Izaya ever again.

The blond grabbed the raven's face from both sides, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Listen Izaya. I want this. I really do... but not like that. You're still confused. I don't want to take advantage of that."

Rusty eyes were staring into hazel ones and Shizuo could see the sadness disappear from them only slightly. Maybe Izaya needed his time to understand, but he understood finally when his eyes became soft.

A small smile was reflected on his lips, soft, content, happy.

"Thank you, Shizu-chan."

Had he ever heard that tone before? Ever seen that smile? When had the raven learned to be so gentle and innocent?

Gentleness was his great weapon against Shizuo.

Kind of ironic, that they would find out so late and under these circumstances.

The smile could drive him mad, it probably would, but Shizuo knew that there was no way to continue something like what they had just done. This needed time, when he wanted it to work.

The raven's fingers were still lying inside his hand, slightly brushing over his skin. Shizuo closed his eyes, inhaled deeply while trying to find his composure back. He appreciated the little skin contact one last time, softly squeezing the small hands inside his own, before he let go.

"You should take a shower. I will try to find something eatable." He gave Izaya a small smile that was returned, before he got off the bed and walked towards the living room.

It was still slightly dark, but the first sun beams were coming through the sky. Still it was awfully early in the morning and Shizuo would have never stood up at such a time, but there was no use in going back to sleep either. He was rather going to take care of the raven.

Joy was filling him up, when he imagined himself spending the day with Izaya (strange enough that that would ever happen) but it was rapidly destroyed when Shizuo opened his fridge.

Indeed he had thought, that there would at least be something left to eat, but the only things left were milk and yoghurt and the combination wasn't really something he was willed to present the raven as breakfast.

So if he didn't want to run to the next supermarket and create something, before Izaya would step out of the shower, Shizuo had to eat with him somewhere outside.

If Izaya wasn't going to take a shower for an whole hour, Shizuo would never made it in time. But the other option seemed rather weird. Was it normal to eat breakfast outside? Shizuo had never done it, for that he didn't know, but it appeared as something that Izaya was ready to do.

Well then, it was decided.

Knowing that Izaya was still taking his time showering, Shizuo went back into his bedroom to get some clean clothes. He changed rather rapidly not wanting to be still there, when the raven would come out. After done changing he eyed his wardrobe, considering the high amount of white shirts he had.

Without thinking he took one of it and knocked the door to the bathroom, hoping that Izaya would be able to hear it over the rushing water.

"Izaya, I'm putting a clean shirt for you on the bed." Shizuo shouted before doing so. He didn't even bother to look for any trousers, knowing that they wouldn't fit the raven anyway, but the shirt was probably going to fit with a lot of ... creativity.

Closing the door behind him, Shizuo went back to the living room taking a seat on his couch.

The blond closed his eyes for a moment trying to take in the silence around him. He had the feeling that he could still somewhat hear the raven's screams and he had to suppress the need to rush back to the bathroom and look if he was alright. Shizuo knew that it was stupid. He knew that the raven was just fine having seen him just minutes ago. But sometimes there was just this urge inside him to gather the people that were precious to him around him, not for entertainment, but just for the sole fact, to make sure that they were alright.

He often had have this feeling with Kasuka, sometimes with Tom or Celty, and now Izaya was one of them, too. Shizuo would even say that Izaya was by now causing this urge inside him the most.

Suddenly a strange sound was filling the room. The blond opened his eyes and looked in front of him, where the sound was coming from, just to find the flea's phone lying on his table while vibrating. The vibration caused the phone to move slightly across the table and Shizuo stared at it with curiosity before he finally took it.

Eyeing the display he saw something he had never thought to see, when it came to the flea. There was only one word shown and it made the blond rethink their whole relationship again. The display said "Dad".

Shizuo had never thought about it, but it made sense. Though he had never seen them, of course, the raven would have parents, just like him. But Shizuo couldn't remember that he had ever seen them throughout all the years they knew each other now.

If his parents knew? The thing with his sisters?

If they did, why would they not appear or help? Shizuo was sticking around Izaya all the time the last days, but he had never seen him talk to anyone familiar, not even on the phone.

Shizuo turned around, eyeing the way to the bathroom suspiciously from where he still heard the sound of water, before he tapped at the display and hold the phone to his ear.

"Izaya, that was going to be time. Why do you always take so long to pick up?" Said the voice at the other side, definitely a man.

"Sorry, but Izaya is taking a shower at the moment. Do you want me to tell him something?"

For a short moment there was nothing. Shizuo always thought, that the other person had hang up but he heard a rustling coming from the other end.

"May I know who you are?"

"My name is Shizuo Heiwajima. I'm just a fried of Izaya's." Shizuo answered bluntly. If he was going to get to know the flea's parents, why not now?

"Ahhh, Shizuo Heiwajima." He suddenly heard the other one shout. He almost thought that his reputation was just once again faster than him, but therefore the sound seemed just too ... happy? "Aren't you the one that Izaya always played with during high school?"

 _Played?_ Shizuo repeated the word again in his thoughts. _I wouldn't call it that._

"Yeah, exactly. That's me." He answered an ironic smile appearing on his face.

"My name is Shirou. I'm Izaya's father. It's good to hear something from one of his friends. You know, Izaya is not telling me a lot about the things that are going on in his life." The man started babbling.

"I figured that." Shizuo just answered. Somehow he still couldn't get over the strange situation. This was probably the weirdest conversation he ever had.

"Say, are there any news on the twins now?" Izaya's father suddenly asked after a small pause with a rather sad tone. Shizuo's eyes widened for different reasons at the sudden change.

 _So he does know!_

"No, I'm sorry. But we are doing all we can. Don't worry. We will find them."

Shizuo tried to put as much certainty in his words as he could.

" ... I'm sure about that." The other man answered, still unhappiness was heard in his voice. Shizuo would have liked to talk to him from face to face. He wondered, how Izaya's father looked like, if there was any similarity at all.

"Say, is Izaya still wearing his rings?"

Shizuo was perking one of his eyebrows at that question.

"Yeah, he is."

"Great." Shirou answered with a strange mix of happiness and relief. "Well then, I hope I'll hear from you again, Heiwajima-san."

"Yeah, me too. Do you want me to tell him that you called?"

"Ah, no. It's not that important. I'll just call another day. Good bye."

And then the call ended.

Shizuo was still eyeing the display curiously, as if he still couldn't understand what had just happened, when suddenly the door to the bedroom went open and Izaya stepped out.

As soon as the sound reached his ears, he put the phone back on the table, because he didn't want the raven to get any strange ideas of him.

He made a final note to tell the raven about the phone call later, but he abandoned that note as fast as he turned around and saw the raven standing in the middle of the room.

It wasn't just the fact, that the raven looked strangely refreshed after the shower (and with that beautiful), but also the fact that he was indeed wearing the blond's shirt, that made Shizuo's jaw drop. White definitely was Izaya's color. And though the shirt was a little too long, the raven had just rolled up the sleeves for it to not look as big as it actually was.

"So where's the breakfast?" Izaya asked ignoring the blond's wide-eyed look. This one closed his mouth when he heard the question.

"Didn't have anything here. I figured, we should go out and grab something?"

Izaya was shrugging his shoulders. "Russian Sushi?" He asked the blond, who was nervously stomping from one foot to another.

 _Russian Sushi for breakfast?_ Shizuo let the idea go through his mind for a moment. Was this only in his words strange? He sighed. _Fair enough!_

"Yeah. Let's go."

With that he grabbed his keys guiding the raven out of his apartment.

* * *

 **Worth a review?**


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm back! I know that you probably all thought I was dead. However here I am and I'm just gonna skip the stupid apologies for not having updated in almost a year to make it short.**

 **Literally the fact that there are still People reading this and actually liking and me having a couple of time at the Moment, I figured that it was to write on a bit. I'm actually not that much in the fandom anymore, so I don't know if it's still going to be good or accurate. However I hope you are going to enjoy anyway!**

* * *

Chapter 12

Izaya was casually walking next to Shizuo.

Despite his current situation, he was feeling rather well. This was not only thanks to the amount of sleep he had recently managed to get back, but also thanks to Shizuo.

The raven was pretending to not notice, but he could clearly feel the blonde's eyes on his body. Not only once or twice, but literally the whole time they were walking next to each other.

Sometimes he would turn his head and return a brief glimpse, but whenever their eyes met Shizuo's face would just heat up like a tomato causing him to look into the opposite direction immediately.

Izaya would just turn his eyes back to the street in front of him. But every time a slight smile appeared on his lips, that he just wouldn't be able to hold back. Really now, sometimes the blonde was just acting too cute and obvious that it couldn't be good for him. _Just like a real child,_ the raven thought to himself still seeing the very red face in the corner of his eyes.

But Izaya didn't really mind. He had long given up pretending that the blonde wasn't making him happy. Shizuo was actually able to distract him a bit from the painful reality he was living in at the very moment. And for that he was more than grateful.

He had to oppress a little snigger, when he noticed the weird looks they were attracting of the other people on the street.

After all Shizuo and him were famous all around in Ikebukuro. Though not for walking casually next to each other like best friends. Probably everyone on the street was expecting to see them snap and fight any second.

 _Have to disappoint you with that,_ the raven giggled, gaining him a weird look of the blonde next to him.

"What's so funny?" The blonde asked having his normal face color back.

"Maybe you should stop staring at me for once and keep a look around~"

Shizuo gave the Informant a strange look, though he actually started looking around. Just then he noticed the rather high amount of people actually stopping in the middle of street to stare at them in disbelief. The blonde thought of it as rather crazy and swiftly turned his head back to the raven.

"What the fuck is wrong with these people? They are staring at us, as if we were something to eat."

Izaya laughed. "Shizuo`s expecting a zombie apocalypse now?"

"Stop making jokes about that. That's a real possible scenario." The blonde responded. A serious expression had settled on his face. Izaya just stared at him in disbelief for a second before he started laughing deeply. It took him almost a minute to calm down again. Tears had formed in the corner of his eyes from the laughter and breathing appeared to be hard at first. Shizuo was just watching the raven calm down again, not exactly understanding what had just caused the sudden laugh attack.

"Oh Shizu-chan, my mouth muscles hurt now" the raven said still smiling while wiping away the tears with his fingers.

"Isn't that your fault?" the blonde just responded, noticing that a few people had taken their safety distance from them when the raven suddenly started laughing like crazy.

"Shizu-chan, you are just so dense sometimes~ They are looking at us, because you are looking at me like _I_ was something to eat while your face is getting as red as a tomato."

Shizuo's face immediately turned red again. Has he really been so obvious the whole time?

The raven on the other hand just laughed again.

"Nya, don't worry about it, Shizu-chan. I don't mind if you look at me like that." The raven smiled. He had never really cared about the things some unimportant people were thinking about him. If it was for fighting or for flirting, they were free to think whatever they wanted. Like that he might as well just tease the blonde a little bit more. This one was still bright red desperately trying to avert the raven's gaze. Izaya used the chance to bring his mouth closer to the blonde's ear and whispered: "And it makes me even more satisfied, when you like what you see~"

He didn't know if it was actually possible, but he could swear Shizuo's face just got a darker kind of red. When the blonde shot him an embarrassed glare, he just couldn't stop to laugh again.

"I could spend eternity walking with you like that." The raven said after his laughing had died down.

Who could have ever imagined that Shizuo Heiwajima, the strongest man of Ikebukuro, had such a nice and cute side to himself?

And who would have expected that it would be Izaya Orihara, his worst arch-enemy, who would bring out this side of him?

Izaya thought these ideas to himself. They were quite astonishing.

But reality is always going to throw you out of your dreams once in a while.

* * *

Simon couldn't have been more surprised to see Izaya and Shizuo walking into his restaurant _together._

At first he expected some kind of game behind it. Maybe they had lost a bet and were forced by Shinra or whoever to spend time with each other. But after observing them for a while, he understood that these two were getting along pretty well. Thanks to whatever miracle or holy creature the two troublemakers seemed to have actually become good friends.

Simon couldn't understand their conversation from his position but apparently Izaya was making a couple of jokes, at least he was laughing whole heartedly, and Shizuo was most of the time flustered, sulking or joining Izaya in his laughing attacks.

It was a nice thing to see and Simon was happy that peace seemed to have occurred in Ikebukuro at last.

"Good to see that you are friends now" he said when he brought them their food.

"You think so, too? I bet most people on the street today are agreeing with you on that~" the raven chuckled causing the blonde in front of him to blush slightly.

Simon didn't really understand why Shizuo reacted in such a way. But he couldn't care less. He was just happy that those two were finally getting along.

"Izaya seems happy. You found your sisters?" Simon asked innocently. He had expected to get a happy smile of the raven. The Informant had been laughing the whole time. Naturally Simon thought that all problems were solved, but he regretted the question as soon as the lively atmosphere became dark. The raven's smile dropped immediately and also Shizuo was staring at Izaya with a worried expression.

"I'm sorry. I should not have-" Simon tried to redeem himself from his earlier mistake but the raven just interrupted him midway.

"Forget it. It's not your fault." Izaya said. His voice wasn't reproachful. It sounded rather sad, what made Simon feel even more miserable.

For a while no one said anything at all. The silence seemed to intensify the heavy atmosphere even more. Izaya was just staring at his plate. Maybe he was deep in thoughts not really noticing the others anymore. Or maybe it was his way to ignore the others and not cause them to ask any more painful questions. Shizuo and Simon couldn't know either. They were just staring at him worriedly, until Simon couldn't take the atmosphere anymore.

"So no new information?" He asked carefully.

The raven shook his head his eyes never leaving the plate in front of him. It was as if they were stuck to it trying to blend out his whole environment.

Shizuo changed a worried look with Simon, before his hand slowly wandered over the desk closer to the raven.

Carefully he put his hand on the raven's that was lying next to his plate. The touch immediately shot waves of electricity through his body, though the raven's hand was ice cold. What captured the blonde even more were the eyes that looked into his own as soon as his warm hand touched the cold skin.

He couldn't really define what he saw in Izaya's eyes. It most definitely wasn't anger, he could notice a shade of sadness in them but what mostly caught his attention was the determination they hold. The raven's gaze was strong, but it rather confused Shizuo. It wasn't what he had expected to see. What would the Informant be determinate for?

Suddenly Simon coughed. Both looked to the tall russian man in surprise though their hands never separated.

"Izaya, why don't you try trick? At Shinra you said, you have one week. When they call, just say, you have the money." The tall man suggested.

The raven hesitated for a moment while thinking about it. Then he shook his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" Shizuo suddenly interrupted and their eyes met again.

"These kidnappers are not stupid. I already told them that I don't have that much money. And then suddenly a few days later I come in touch with such a high amount? What will they think? That I asked someone to borrow it? If they really observed me, they must know that there's no one in this world I'd trust enough to help me, let alone someone else who would trust _me_ enough to give me the money without knowing what I need it for. And even if they don't get suspicious at the beginning, they'll at least be when I'll come there without any money. What will I do then?"

"I will just punch the shit out of these bastards!"

"And if they are pointing a gun at my sisters right at the moment, when we arrive? Don't get me wrong, Shizu-chan. I know that you're strong and that you could kill them in a hand fight without any problem. But you're definitely not faster than a gun. That would just end in the worst case scenario: Me losing my sisters _and_ you."

Shizuo couldn't really say if it was scary or respectful that Izaya could talk about the whole idea so composed. His eyes fell back on Simon for a moment who was watching Izaya still worriedly. Maybe the man was thinking the same?

Though it made Shizuo happy to hear that the raven really cared about him that much, he couldn't care less at the moment. It was indeed strange that Izaya could talk with so much rationality about the possible death of his sisters. Maybe Shizuo was just mistaken and Izaya had just been so emotional at the beginning because of the shock that overtook him. The lack of sleep and the fact that he, the Informant, couldn't find out anything just put his mind into the extreme. But now after all the time that they had spend together the raven had finally calmed down being able to think again. At least that was the only logical idea Shizuo could come up with. The other one would be that Izaya actually gave up, but the idea alone was so unlikely, that it wasn't even worth thinking about it any further.

"You have other good idea?" It was again Simon who asked.

Izaya just shook his head after a while of thinking.

"Though I want to wait if the others are going to find out anything. I will keep your idea in mind, Simon. Thank you." The raven answered actually forcing a smile on his face. At the same time, Shizuo could feel Izaya's fingers against his own softly pressing them against each other.

The atmosphere eased a bit and Simon finally left the two alone to finish their meals. Shizuo felt disappointed though that he had to take his hand back for eating.

It was strange that he wanted to hold Izaya's hand so dearly. It was this typical thing to do for couples. Totally not suited for men, especially not in Japan. Though he really liked the touch. Gliding over his own fingers he just imagined him and Izaya walking through the streets like that.

What was he even thinking about?! Him and Izaya being a couple?! Shizuo blushed at the idea. It wasn't that he didn't like it. It was rather the fact that he would really like to do all the couple like things with Izaya.

Like walking in the street, holding hands, spending every free minute with each other, kissing, having se- the blonde blushed even harder when the thought hit him. He was so lost in thoughts, that he didn't hear the raven call his name at all.

"Earth to Shizuo! You still there?" The blonde blinked a few times when the raven started waving his hand right before his face.

"He?"

"Don't 'He' me! I was calling your name three times. What were you thinking about, that you'd ignore me?"

Shizuo felt like his mind was blank for a second before his thoughts from earlier came back. He just blushed again averting the raven's gaze. Looking into that beautiful face could just cause a heart attack for him now.

"No-Nothing! So what do you want to do today?" The blonde rapidly asked to distract the raven. Izaya just watched him curiously before just shrugging the whole thing of.

"I wanted to go into the chat room again to ask the others." He answered casually taking one of his Otoro and putting it into his mouth.

"The chat room?"

"Oh right. You don't know about it. Most of us joined a chat room where we are quite often talking about all kinds of things."

"Who is 'we'?"

"Celty, Mikado, Anri, literally everyone. Kururi and Mairu have been there, too …"

"…" Shizuo didn't know what to say. Though the atmosphere got kind of heavy again, he felt a little betrayed by his friends. How could it be that he had never heard of this chat room before? Literally everyone was there? Does that mean Simon and Tom, too? Though he wasn't the kind of person that liked to chat a lot, he'd have liked to be asked at least.

"Say, don't you have to work today?" Izaya asked suddenly when his eyes fell on the clock hanging at the wall in front of him. They had indeed taken their sweet time walking here and chatting until lunch.

"DAMN! I forgot to tell Tom!" The blonde shouted his hands running nervously through his hair. Izaya followed the movements with a smile on his face. "Listen! I'm sorry-" The blonde started while standing up from his seat.

"It's fine. Just go. I bet Namie is already waiting for me, too."

Shizuo gave him one last smile before running out of the restaurant in a hurry.

Simon curiously followed the man with his eyes, before they landed on Izaya who watched the blonde leaving with a smirk.

"Work~" He answered loud enough for Simon to hear, who gave him an understanding smile in response.

Izaya sighed.

Shizuo really could be dense and unorganized sometimes.

* * *

Shizuo was running as fast as he could to get to the place where he was originally supposed to meet up with Tom. He hoped that his friend would still be there waiting for him.

Though he was in a hurry, he just couldn't get the raven out of his mind, let alone the deep blush off his face.

How would he ever be able to face Izaya again after all the thoughts that had just occurred his mind?

Shizuo knew that there was no denying it anymore. The way he'd kissed Izaya, the way he always got attracted to his body and how he literally couldn't stop thinking about the raven every minute.

Shizuo was in love with Izaya.

As strange as it sounded at first, even the blonde couldn't believe the sentence, when it first popped up in his mind.

The fact, that he admitted it to himself, made it even worse. He couldn't stop staring at the raven without blushing because the idea always hit him that he'd really like to do more with the raven.

Shizuo didn't really care, what other people would think about his feelings. All he knew was that he had never felt anything that intensive before.

It wasn't that he just _wanted_ to touch the raven. He rather _craved_ his touch so much, that he sometimes had the feeling he couldn't control it anymore.

But this wasn't really the problem he had.

His problem was that he didn't know what Izaya thought about this whole thing between them. Would he even like considering them a couple?

Even if the raven had kissed him, Shizuo knew that most of their interactions had been during a period, where Izaya hadn't truly been himself. The raven had been confused, probably emotionally unstable all this time. But today he had seemed to be more natural, more back to himself.

What if something changed now? What if Izaya didn't really consider Shizuo someone to love? Maybe he considered Shizuo more of a friend now.

Shizuo couldn't really bear the thought.

After all, losing Izaya meant the worst possible outcome for him at the moment.

* * *

Izaya took his time on his way back.

He didn't really care for his work at the moment. Nor did he care whether Namie was waiting for him or not. Who was he even tricking? He knew she wasn't waiting for him.

Who knew if she still found something useful, that she could do for him? Probably not and she was just sitting on the couch watching TV.

It's not like she didn't know that he'd pay her anyway.

Izaya didn't even know if there still was something that he could make her do. He had neglected his work quite well the last days. His mind was way too preoccupied recently. First the incident with his sisters, that was still eating his soul, and then all the things that were happening with Shizuo.

Izaya couldn't deny that he really enjoyed the time being with the blonde.

He liked it when Shizuo laughed with him or got flustered so easily. He even liked the way the blonde touched him. Sometimes really passionate and then again really softly, when he just needed him to be close.

He kind of regretted that the blonde had to work now. It would have been such a pleasure to spend a little more time with him, tease him and god knows what else.

Izaya sniggered at the thought.

It didn't really matter. Shizuo would come back to him. That was the only thing at the moment he was absolutely sure of.

And then they would have a little more fun~


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"I still can't believe that you let me wait for Izaya Orihara." Tom sighed while walking casually next to Shizuo. He had waited quite a while and he couldn't say that he wasn't pissed.

It was normal that Shizuo could get distracted easily. But not in that manner. Normally he would show up in time, sometimes get lost during work because of losing it and running after some crazy people, before reteaming with Tom after around 10 – 15 minutes. That wasn't a problem at all. Tom was rather used to it. But when his friend wouldn't show up for almost an hour, in Shizuo's case it could also mean that he might have been shot or worse, and Tom didn't really approve of that idea.

"I'm sorry. He's just kind of distracting." The blonde mumbled under his breath. Tom looked curiously to his friend. There was no way that he wouldn't have noticed the blush on the blonde's face, whenever he mentioned the raven.

Tom didn't really know, if this was good or not. After all it was Izaya Orihara they were talking about. But Shizuo seemed really happy. Actually he had never seen the blonde this happy before and of course he absolutely knew what this meant.

He sighed.

"You know, if we hurry a bit, you can go earlier to your beloved one today."

"He's not my beloved one!" The blonde almost screamed while a furious blush was on his face.

 _Yeah sure,_ Tom thought to himself, though he smiled about his friends surprising behavior.

"If you say so. Let's hurry anyway." He answered nonchalantly.

Shizuo just nodded. It wasn't like he could get the raven out of his head anyway.

* * *

"And what exactly means the incident with the boy from last time?" Namie stood in front of Izaya her hands put into her hips. Izaya could just sigh at the way she was trying to confront him.

It wasn't like he hadn't expected her to ask any questions but that she would be so persistent to find out anything …

The raven sighed again. This time even deeper. His head was already lying on his desk not being able to bear anymore of this conversation.

"How often do I have to tell you that it wasn't that important?"

"Ha! Not important! Don't make me laugh, Izaya! As if you'd ever act like that if it wasn't for the end of this world. And don't try telling me again, that he just wanted to show you some cute kittens! As if I would ever buy that shit!"

"But if I tell you, Mikado and I just recently figured out that we were the hugest cat fans on this planet. Actually we even grew friends because of that!" The raven tried to wine, but of course the woman didn't believe one word of what he was saying.

"As if you would suddenly have friends!" She countered causing Izaya to raise his head.

"Rude!" he shouted back a childish look of shock appearing on his face.

"Pfft!" The woman breathed in contempt before letting herself take a seat on the couch next to her. She closed her eyes for a while the slightly furious look on her face slowly vanishing. Izaya just waited a little annoyed until her eyes opened again. His ears and brain were really hurting from all the shouting and he didn't really manage to work at all. The woman had approached him as soon as he had opened the door. At first asking him where he had been the whole time, how he was thinking of paying her, if he wouldn't start working already. When Izaya on the other hand hadn't give her a clear answer, she started digging deeper and deeper, asking about Mikado, their sudden disappearance and Izaya's strange behavior finally leading to the situation they were in now.

"As long as you don't do any crazy shit that will hurt Seiji, I don't really mind." She finally said after staring at him for a while.

"It's a promise~" he hummed hoping that she would shut up at last.

Namie shot him one last nasty glare before starting to look through a couple of files on the desk in front of her.

Izaya stared back at the monitor of his computer. Though he kind of trusted Namie he didn't really want to tell her about the whole kidnapping issue.

She most probably wouldn't be any advantage anyway. What could the woman do that all the others weren't able to?

Nothing. That was the bitter truth. She couldn't really help him at all, let alone she wouldn't probably even consider helping him.

Namie was rather the kind of person that would make fun of him or of the feelings he held for his sisters. That was their relationship. Though they appeared to get along from time to time, having trust in each other during work or even spending some of their time together with cooking, watching TV or doing other unnecessary things, they would never change their relationship or their personality for each other.

Namie would only care for Seiji, like it had always been.

And Izaya would only care for himself. Like he had always acted in front of her.

It was just fine this way. No need to regret anything about it. Izaya didn't need her. After all he had Shizuo at his side now.

Just at the moment the raven ended his thought, there was a loud stumbling to hear from the outside. It already caused Namie and Izaya to look into the direction of the door. Their eyes widened in surprise when it suddenly opened very abruptly and Shizuo Heiwajima entered the room as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Shizuo Heiwa-" Namie already started in shock but was cut off by Izaya.

"Shizu-chan, what are you doing here already? Aren't you supposed to end work just in a few hours?"

"I could persuade Tom to let me go earlier." The blonde answered happily closing the door behind him.

When he turned around, he started walking into Izaya's direction, but stopped midway. He raised his hand to his head, nervously going with it through his hair, before he locked eyes with the raven again.

"And I wanted to ask … how you are?" The blonde suddenly asked a slight blush appearing on his face.

"Shizu-chan, we just saw each other this morning…" Izaya answered hesitatingly. The atmosphere between them was indeed a little awkward causing him to get a little blush himself.

Namie on the other hand just kept her head moving from one guy to the other, both of them obviously trapped in their own little world not noticing her existence at all. Really now, at first Mikado, now Shizuo Heiwajima … How could this even be possible? These two were supposed to hate each other! Did she somehow miss something really important that had happened currently? Since when did the Informant have friends? Since when was he getting along with Shizuo?!

"That's enough! I don't have anything to do with this!" she shouted, shooting up from her seat. The two men didn't even have the time to say anything, before she had already grabbed her bag and left the room.

"What was that?" Shizuo asked bewildered his eyes still resting on the door.

"Don't worry about her. She's always like that" The raven chuckled earning him a curious glare from the blonde.

Suddenly Izaya stood up slowly approaching the blonde. Shizuo already gulped nervously expecting the raven to come closer, but instead he just walked over to the couch between them and sat down. Petting his hand on the place next to him, he signalized the blonde to sit down too. All this time he was wearing an inviting smile on his lips and Shizuo couldn't really say whether it meant danger or seduction.

After a little hesitation he still sat down next to the raven, nonetheless keeping a little distance between them. Izaya seemed to be in a good mood, but Shizuo couldn't be sure and didn't want to scare the Informant away. He already knew that he wanted to touch the raven again, but he was afraid that Izaya wouldn't return this feeling.

The raven was still smiling while Shizuo's hands were still rubbing against each other in his lap. He couldn't believe that he was actually that nervous because of the raven.

"Well … did you find out anything in your chat room?" The blonde asked to distract himself from this sensation.

Izaya's eyes widened in surprise and the smile suddenly left his face.

"It's not MY chat room, Shizu- chan~ But no, I didn't find out anything" The raven answered, his voice a mix of sadness and amusement.

"Hm…" Shizuo hummed sounding rather upset.

"Could it be that you're a little jealous?" Izaya suddenly asked causing the blonde to look up.

"Why jealous?"

"Because we're all in that chat room that you obviously never heard about before~" The raven sniggered.

"It's not like I'm jealous or anything like that. I was just disappointed when I was left out of something apparently that important."

"I wouldn't consider the chat room as something important. It was just for fooling around from time to time, at least when it comes to me." Izaya sighed, though he didn't seem upset. Rather a soft smile had placed itself on his face.

"I get it. But I still feel left out. What if someone writes something important in case of the kidnapping? Literally everyone would know about it, just I wouldn't know anything about it."

A small snigger left Izaya's mouth when he heard the blonde complain, earning him a strange look.

"What's so funny?"

"I think you mistook my words earlier~ With "literally everyone" I didn't mean "everyone". Sure there are quite a lot of people, but for example Kadota or Shinra are not in there. And to be honest, I think even if someone was going to find out anything, he wouldn't put it in the chat room first. It's just with the one time with Mikado. He contacted me personally right away. I guess that goes for everyone who's in this."

Shizuo felt relieved when he heard Izaya's words. Though it wasn't really that much of an issue, he felt strangely connected to Izaya again. Shizuo would stay at Izaya's side for the rest of this time. And if anyone was going to contact Izaya, he would notice right away. Like that he wouldn't lose sight of the raven right again. He could protect him just like he was supposed to. Of course Shizuo wanted to rescue Mairu and Kururi, too, but he had to admit that Izaya was his absolute priority. However, there was one thing he had to discuss with the raven further.

"Say Izaya, you seem kind of … happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that you're not depressed anymore … but it feels strange." The blonde ringed with the words to not possible scare or anger the raven, but this one just kept his soft smile.

"That's thanks to you Shizu-chan." The Informant told him pretty bluntly causing the blonde to blush immediately. A shocked sound left Shizuo's lips while doing so making the raven chuckle in return.

"What do you mean?" The blonde asked still trying to fight off his red face.

"At first when this whole kidnapping thing happened, I felt horrified. I'm not used to trust in other people, for that I tried to find out everything on my own. When I couldn't do that, I felt lost and useless … almost broken. I just wasn't used to this feeling." The raven started, a small frown had placed itself on his face. "Shizuo, you know that I don't have many friends. Shinra is probably the only one I'm actually trusting. That's why I contacted him at first. Well, stuff went pretty strange from that moment on." A snigger escaped Izaya's lips when he remembered the encounter at Shinra's place. "Literally all people that are into this rescue mission, wanted to kill me before, just like you …" Izaya directed a straight glare to Shizuo, though it wasn't reproachful, Shizuo felt immediately guilty. "But still, all of them wanted to help. At first, I thought it were just words and when it came to actions, they wouldn't do anything at all. But then Mikado came and tried to help me under the risk of his life together with Anri Sonohara. Just like you Shizu-chan. You are here for me the whole time. Don't you think it's a wonder, how these few days have changed us? You' re not even thinking about killing me anymore, let alone you're not even getting angry when I'm making a few stupid jokes. Just now, we are like two sides of a coin, perfectly completing the other one. And that's giving me peace. Because I somehow know, as long as you are here, everything's going to be alright. Thanks for that feeling, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo was watching Izaya the whole time with keen eyes. He liked to listen to the raven, when his words were so very clear for once and at one point of the speech his mouth eventually opened a bit resulting in him staring at the raven pretty dumbfounded. Once he noticed it, a slight blush appeared on his face out of embarrassment, though the raven apparently didn't notice the flustered one, at least a soft and grateful smile was still placed on his face.

"You're welcome." The blonde muttered under his breath letting the raven snigger a little.

Shizuo didn't know how to respond to Izaya's sudden sincerity. He really appreciated it but after all Shizuo wasn't really fond of words. Taking actions was his area.

"So… would you like to do something today?" he asked kind of nervous instead.

"Sure~ Any suggestions?" The raven asked still smiling happily.

Of course Shizuo immediately remembered what they had done the last time when they had been alone and his face turned a shade darker. Though he would never admit it.

"I don't know. Well, what would you like to do?" He asked flustered carefully observing the raven.

The raven suddenly started laughing whole heartedly causing the blonde to only blush a bit more.

"Oh, Shizu-chan~ Why did I never notice before how cute you can be?"

"I'm not-"

Suddenly there were lips pressed on his. They were just touching for a mere second, but Shizuo could feel the heat in it. And while his eyes stared in surprise at the raven's face, he could see the red blush that had settled itself on the beautiful face in front of him.

"Don't worry about it. I know exactly what I want~" The raven whispered locking eyes with Shizuo. Their look and the smile on his face were filled with lust and Shizuo couldn't prevent his heart from beating faster in anticipation.

Suddenly the raven pressed his lips again on his. This time it held more pressure and lasted just a second longer, but still enough for Shizuo to wrap an arm around the raven's waist. When they parted slightly, they locked eyes again.

Shizuo gulped. The look in the raven's eyes was sincere and held a big promise. He knew its meaning even before the raven started to speak again.

"This time I'm not confused~"

* * *

 **The next chapter is actually going to be the one why there's Rating M. So beware~ *x* However, I really want to Progress the Story now where I have the time. I'll try to update as many chapters as possible. Maybe I'm even going to end it ? *.* See ya soon~**


	14. Chapter 14

**WARNING: This chapter contains porn. If you don't like, don't read. You can skip this chapter and read on at the next chapter.**

 **You'll still understand the story. If you still want to read this though, I hope you'll enjoy it.**

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"This time I'm not confused~"

The corners of Izaya's mouth slowly went up when he noticed the flicker in Shizuo's hazel eyes right in front of him while hearing his words.

His hands shot forward and he started to trail along the side of the blonde's face with one of his fingers. Shizuo's skin was soft. Maybe not as soft as his own but still not the rough skin you would expect of someone as strong as Shizuo. And the skin was warm. Not the burning flame that someone could have seen so often in his rages or his words of hatred. No, it held the warmness of a just hatched out chick's plumage or the soft sensation that surrounds you after slipping under a warm blanket. Izaya really loved this about Shizuo. This feeling of safety. The feeling of being home.

Shizuo's hand still rested at the side of his waist. The blonde hadn't moved yet. Maybe he was still waiting for Izaya to stop things or his brain was just not getting the things that were going on fast enough. Izaya had to snicker at the thought. Shizuo's look was indeed still one of surprise.

When his finger stopped at the corner of the blonde's lips he slowly followed the line of his under lip before catching them once again in a passionate kiss. He started sucking at the under lip before slowly giving more pressure to it. Suddenly Shizuo's arm pushed him strongly against the blonde's chest. Izaya liked the new proximity but somehow he felt his legs were in the way. His lips still resting on the blonde's he decided to rest his legs on both sides of Shizuo's. While changing his position, his mouth opened for just a second- though it was long enough for Shizuo to catch the opportunity and let his tongue slip into the raven's mouth.

Izaya shuddered when he felt the new sensation. Shizuo was holding him with both arms on his lap now, while his tongue slowly trailed along the areas of Izaya's mouth. Having adjusted to the new position Izaya rested his hands on the strong chest in front of him, before reciprocating the kiss deeper.

Shizuo's saliva felt hot in his mouth and he had the feeling that it was setting his whole body aflame from the inside. Sometimes he heard their teeth clash against each other and just to tease the blonde a little he bit his lips from time to time, though never strong enough to draw blood.

His hands wandered upwards towards Shizuo's neck pulling the blonde deeper into the kiss, until there was almost no space left between their faces.

Shizuo's kisses held exactly the right intensity for Izaya. At first they would let Izaya do what he wanted, bite and suck on the blonde's lips, explore his whole mouth, before reaching forward with his tongue to search every corner of the raven's mouth.

For the first time Izaya could kiss Shizuo long enough to recognize the sweet taste Shizuo's saliva was leaving inside his mouth.

By now Shizuo's hands had found its way under Izaya's shirt. Izaya wouldn't have noticed it at all if there hadn't been this warm pressure on his skin that slowly started to pull his shirt up.

The kiss had sent a dark red to his cheeks and what he could see from under blurry eyelids Shizuo looked just the same. The air had been taken out of his lungs almost completely and his lips were swollen after biting and sucking at each other's lips for such a long time.

When they parted to breathe again Izaya had to detect in astonishment that he had indeed started to open Shizuo's belt. The recognition let him redden even more, but at the same time it caused a smile to appear on his face.

Shizuo's proximity really was like an aphrodisiac.

It didn't let Izaya think clearly.

A snicker left the raven's mouth at the thought.

"What's so funny?" The blonde asked still out of breath.

"I was just thinking that I really lose my control when I'm with you~" Izaya breathed seductively into Shizuo's ear while increasing his pressure on Shizuo's lap. He thought he had noticed it before, but now he was sure: Shizuo was indeed hard. There couldn't be any other explanation for that big thing he could feel right under his own arousal. The action let the blonde twitch in surprise and Izaya couldn't oppress a giggle when he noticed Shizuo's very red and surprised face.

Suddenly two big hands grabbed him from behind heaving him up without any problem. Izaya yelped at the sudden movement but was able to keep his balance by hanging close to Shizuo's neck.

Now it was his turn to twitch when the blonde started carrying him in princess style towards his own bedroom.

"Shizu-chan, let me down!" The raven tried to protest in embarrassment, but the blonde just snarled at the light Informant.

"And you talk 'bout losing control? You should feel what you put me through once in a while!"

Izaya immediately stopped trying to get out of the embarrassing situation and looked into the blonde's face. This one was stubbornly looking to the front. The raven didn't know if it was because the blonde didn't want to fall or move against something – or if it was because he was actually afraid that Izaya might see something in his eyes that he could get the wrong way. Or the right way? At least Izaya thought he understood what Shizuo meant by his words and it made him unbelievable happy.

But the thought didn't stay long when the blonde threw him on the bed. The raven landed softly on the blanket, though the action appeared to him a little more violent to him than Shizuo's calm behavior in the living room.

"Does that mean Shizu-chan will let the beast out, now that we're finally here?" The raven asked sitting up again.

"You can be damn sure about that." The blonde answered bluntly and Izaya twitched in anticipation when the sheets under him shifted.

His eyes fell on the big bulge in Shizuo's pants. It looked even bigger now that he had a good sight on it and Shizuo's belt was already loosened. His cheeks blushed when he noticed how long he was actually staring at it. He felt kind of embarrassed for acting so lewd. After all, he was a man too and he couldn't really say that his trousers looked any different. Shizuo got him horny as fuck just by kissing. He would have felt embarrassed by the mere fact, if it weren't the same for the blonde.

His eyes fell back on the man in front of him, who crawled closer and positioned himself between the raven's thighs.

Izaya's pulse increased when the blonde slipped one hand under his shirt that was still pulled up a little. He still felt hot from their kissing before and the sudden touch shot waves of electricity through his whole body.

Shizuo suddenly captured his lips again. The blonde's hands slowly trailed upwards lifting the raven's shirt more and more. Izaya felt kind of mesmerized by the touch and even hours later he wouldn't be able to tell if he planned to unbuckle Shizuo's belt further or if it happened in the heat of the moment.

However, it was almost at the same time that Shizuo tossed his shirt to the side and the blonde's pants hanged loosely on the height of his thighs.

Without hesitating Shizuo attacked the raven's nipples with his tongue causing the raven to yelp in surprise.

"Shizu-chan, I'm not a girl. There's no need to- Ah!" The raven breathed out when Shizuo turned his nipple around with his tongue sucking on it at the same time. Seriously, he had no idea that his nipples could be that sensitive.

Shizuo however apparently didn't hear his short protest. At the same time he had managed to open the raven's belt and had slipped his right hand into his trousers. Lingering with his hand right over Izaya's erection the raven could already feel the heat on his sensitive member. His whole body twitched when the blonde took his length into his hand. The raven's hands grabbed tightly into Shizuo's shirt, when the blonde started to stroke him. Pleasure overtook him and Izaya closed his eyes taking in the hot feeling from his lower parts.

"Mhmm-Ah!" He screamed when the blonde inserted light pressure on the top of his penis.

Izaya felt embarrassed that Shizuo could cause him to let out such lewd sounds- at the same time there was something he had to change immediately.

"Wait, Shizu-chan!" When the blonde's shocked expression met him, he already felt guilty, but it got worse, when Shizuo suddenly shot his hand back to his body as if he had touched fire.

"I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt you!" Shizuo shouted and Izaya had to smile at the blonde's honesty.

"You didn't hurt me. It's just- I want you to take this off." The raven answered calmly pointing to Shizuo's shirt already starting to loosen the blonde's tie with trembling fingers.

"Oh…" Shizuo just mumbled before he smiled softly at the raven again. Izaya had opened his tie by now and was already attacking the blonde's vest. This one started to unbutton his vest from the bottom and their fingers brushed when they finally met in the middle.

"You shouldn't wear so much." The raven whispered when they had gotten rid of the white shirt too and he could finally admire Shizuo's muscular upper body.

The fabric was tossed on the bottom just like the rest. Izaya let his fingers trail over the form of Shizuo's biceps before kissing the blonde softly.

"Don't be afraid of hurting me. I know you can do this" He said and Shizuo returned a smile before touching the raven's erection again.

His hand wandered over the shaft, at first pumping in regular motions up and down, his thumb stroking the top from time to time. The raven's lips at first parted at the touch, trying to hold his moans back by biting into his bottom lip.

Once the blonde increased his speed and even massaged the sensitive spot of his erection Izaya couldn't hold back anymore. His nails dig into the skin of Shizuo's broad shoulders when he felt the pleasurable heat in his lower part increase further. He knew that he wasn't far away from coming.

"Ah! Shizu-cha-" The raven moaned loudly. "I'm coming-"

Suddenly the blonde withdrew his hands from his erection. The raven opened his eyes in disapproval, shooting the blonde a death glare. Right at the moment that the raven had felt like _exploding_ in pleasure the blonde prevented him from getting his orgasm. How did he dare?

"Not yet." The blonde just returned smiling, before grabbing Izaya's trousers from both sides and sliding them down.

Izaya's indignation vanished immediately when he noticed that Shizuo could practically see everything of him now- his trembling body, his sensitive nipples still red from sucking at them and his very hard erection that was already leaking with pre-cum.

"Stop staring!" He mumbled when he noticed the admiring look on the blonde's face.

"Why? I like watching you. You're beautiful."

Redness shot to the raven's face, when he heard the blonde's reply. It wasn't like this was the first time someone had told him he was beautiful. Actually it had happened quite often but when Shizuo said it so bluntly it was something totally different. It made Izaya's heartbeat go into dangerous territory. Damn it.

"Do already, what you wanted to do." The raven said flustered looking to the side. He couldn't look into this content smile of the blonde any longer. He might die of a heart attack otherwise.

Without warning Shizuo lifted Izaya's legs over his shoulders getting better access to his lower parts and a better sight on them, not really improving the raven's feeling of shame.

For a while Shizuo just looked down on him. It didn't take long for Izaya to feel uncomfortable. It was like the first time that Shizuo had actually seen… well, an asshole apparently, but then the blonde extended his fingers to the raven's face.

"Suck them" He commanded and Izaya didn't hesitate to do as told. His tongue wrapped around the long fingers putting his saliva all over them. Just by watching the raven Shizuo's erection grew harder and he already had to control himself from not just putting it into the raven and fuck him. Izaya's body was indeed beautiful. He had attractive white skin, after their doing here and there painted in a soft rosé that was only increasing his seduction potential. Why had Shizuo never noticed it in all these years? Seeing Izaya suck his fingers only deepened his lust and his desire to ravish the delicate body of the young Informant.

"Enough" He said after a moment, taking his fingers back a trail of saliva following them.

He positioned one at the raven's entrance before pushing it in slowly. The raven's body gave in easily though Shizuo felt the slight pressure the muscles put on his finger. He watched the raven's face twitch at the beginning but it relaxed after his finger was all in. He started pushing it in and out in rhythm. At first just slowly so Izaya could get used to it, but when the raven's mouth opened in pleasure again and his hands gripped tightly into the pillow under him, Shizuo knew that it was time to go faster. He inserted another finger, at first pushing them in and out, before he started twisting and rubbing around the ring of tight muscles. The raven was hot from the inside and got sexier every second when moans started to come out of his mouth again.

"Nghn- Ahh-" Izaya was a quivering mess after a while, his erection already hurting when he wanted to come so badly. His orgasm grew inside his lower part and he was already pushing back unconsciously on those fingers to get them deeper into him.

A third finger found its way into his entrance when the blonde suddenly entangled their tongues once again. Izaya felt tears appear in the corner of his eyes produced by the pleasure building inside him. He couldn't concentrate on anything anymore, not on the wet organ inside his mouth and neither on the long finger penetrating his ass. Shizuo had literally turned his brain empty while pushing him into a new dimension of passion.

But then his feeling of being close to the climax was interrupted when the blonde pulled his fingers back. Izaya immediately felt empty. He opened his eyes to see what Shizuo was doing. His brain had stopped taking in any logical reasons a while ago. All he knew was that he was high on pleasure and that he needed to come NOW.

His eyes fell on Shizuo. The blonde's eyes were heavy over cheeks tainted in red and he was painting heavily. His eyes trailed down the blonde's upper body widening when they fell on Shizuo's erection when this one took off his trousers and underwear. Shizuo was huge! Not just the one centimeter bigger than normal huge, but rather in a way that Izaya was afraid that the blonde wouldn't fit in him or at least would break him while trying to do so.

However, he couldn't really proceed any thoughts anymore. All he wanted was the blonde to push into him and fuck him into oblivion.

Apparently Shizuo thought exactly the same, when he positioned himself right in front of the raven's entrance. He put one hand on the raven's waist to steady him and the other one close to the raven's head.

When Shizuo entered the hot ring Izaya felt the mixture of pain and known pleasure at first, while his muscles widened at the new sensation. After the raven had relaxed, Shizuo started pushing in and out slowly. At first there was just this bubbling feeling of his orgasm coming back, but then the blonde touched that sensitive spot inside him sending stars to his eyes and letting him scream out in pleasure.

"More! Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo didn't hesitate. Entering Izaya felt like putting his erection in sexual ecstasy. The raven's words were enough to make him go wild. He increased his speed, just watching and entering the raven had brought him close to coming.

Izaya started moaning swears and incoherent stuff when his unfilled orgasm drew him to heavens. Shizuo was already slamming in and out of his body, hard enough to let the Informant's penis move back and forwards with the movements.

"OH my- AH!" He screamed when the blonde hit the sensitive spot once again. His legs wrapped around Shizuo's neck wondering how the blonde couldn't feel uncomfortable with it. At the same time his hand grabbed the blonde's hand at the side of his head- hard enough to draw blood if Shizuo had been a normal person.

To both advantage neither of them was normal, allowing Izaya to forget about possible scratches he could leave, and Shizuo about possibly giving too much power to his thrusts.

With every of his thrusts the blonde was making the raven's vision go white for a moment by now.

"Shizu-ch-AH! Coming!" Izaya mumbled between unsteady breaths.

"Yeah, me too." Shizuo grabbed the raven's length once again, pumping along the sensitive shaft. Putting his thumb on the top while thrusting hard into Izaya's body, he sent the raven into oblivion when the orgasm let the light body twitch under him.

Shizuo watched Izaya's semen spread all over his belly, when the muscles around his member grew unbelievable tight. With one last thrust into the tight hole he let his seed flow into the raven's small body.

Riding out his orgasm he calmed down listening to the exhausted breaths of the man under him. Pulling out he gave Izaya enough space to let his legs fall down on the bed before the blonde collapsed onto him.

Shizuo's head was lying on the raven's breast listening to his heartbeat while Izaya eventually started to stroke through his golden hair with thin fingers.

"I love you, Shizuo." He whispered more to himself than to anyone else.

"I love you too, flea."

Izaya smiled at the bluntly but still so typical reply.

"You know I think I could do this more often~"

"You want another round?" The blonde replied tugging an eyebrow.

"Don't be so greedy~ I already think that I might not be able to walk tomorrow. And now get off me. You are heavy and I'm not your pillow" Izaya answered giggling.

"But still as soft as one" Shizuo just mumbled though he rolled over to the side.

Izaya sat up. The afterglow of his orgasm was still on him and he felt hot. That didn't prevent from immediately feeling the pain in his backside though. Walking definitely wouldn't be fun the next two or three days.

"I'm gonna take a shower~" He hummed before making his way to the bathroom.

"As long as you're right next to me when I wake up tomorrow…" The blonde said into the pillow already being close to sleep.

"Haha! Don't worry about that Shizu-chan. I won't run away from you anymore~"

At least that was one thing the raven could be sure about.

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 **I actually took longer for this than I wanted to. It was kind of hard to write this :( I don't know if the reason is that this was actually my first try writing porn or that I'm not that much in the fandom anymore. Well, I hope I didn't create a total crap chapter here :'/ And still if I did, I'm awfully sorry.**

 **I hope I will improve in the next few chapters, because I think that what's coming will fit more into my preferred writing style. I don't want to spoil too much, but in the next chapters all the supernatural and horror stuff will finally really start and come together and I'm super excited to write this. See you then~ :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi :) I'm finally back to end this year with a nice little horror chapter :D**

 **Thanks to all that are still reading this! I wish you all a happy new year! *^***

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Chapter 15

 _The first thing that caught his attention, when Izaya opened his eyes, was the red moon. Its brightness was blinding and coloring the whole night sky in a devilish red. It looked almost like the liquid texture of blood was spreading over the earth and getting soaked up in the clouds._

 _When his eyes adjusted to the unknown scenery, he finally noticed that his body was lying on the ground. Flat and cold. His fingers were numb, when he used them to push himself up from the dirty ground. Cold stone met his skin and goose bumps were covering his arms. A strange feeling was flooding through his body. Izaya couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had slept for a long time, maybe he was still dreaming, maybe he was on the edge of death. Right now he couldn't even tell whether he was alive or not. Maybe the coldness had this effect on him. Somewhere deep down his brain was screaming to him that this was a dream, that this couldn't be real. But his body didn't seem to listen. It felt numb and cold, almost making him want to just lie back on the dirty stone. It didn't hurt. He was just very calm. Maybe he was indeed dead. Even as that thought went through his mind, he didn't care much about it. It rather felt as if someone had set him free from the pressure of life._

 _Izaya took in a deep breath of the night air. It filled his lungs and shot a wave of new energy through his body. His nostrils hurt from the sudden coldness that went through them but he welcomed the change in his feelings._

 _The raven sat up to take a look around, but twitched as soon as he was in a sitting position. Suddenly Izaya understood the really low temperature around him and his arms moved up to capture himself in an embrace. He almost thought he heard his cold fingers cracking when they dig into his shoulders to support his upper body some warmth._

 _Just now life was coming back to him. Though he couldn't really say he liked it, when his whole body started trembling furiously._

" _Where the hell am I?" he whispered to himself, taking a look around._

 _He was sitting on a stony platform surrounded by a really deserted area mainly composed of sand or grass fields, here and there standing a few trees. It could have almost been romantic if there wasn't that gigantic red moon in the sky making the fields appear to be a sea of blood. Actually a soft wind was blowing the grass to the side creating the illusion of red waves._

 _Izaya finally stood up on trembling knees and looked behind him. He figured that he was standing on some kind of altar. The platform was surrounded by small stony walls and right behind him was one of these rather tiny arches. He knew these from pictures. They were popular places for marriages but in this dark environment it rather looked like a place for sacrificial offerings._

 _An ironic smirk appeared on his face, until he turned to the side to see a big and dark building. There in the middle of nowhere was a church, not even a small one. Even in the distance he could see the dark front constructed down to the very last detail. It must have been designed in the gothic period, he thought to himself before going into its direction. Though he wasn't really in the mood to meet some strange beings here at the edge of the world, everything was better than standing out in the cold._

 _Still Izaya couldn't really comprehend what was going on. Where was he? How did he end up here? The last thing he could remember was Shizuo holding him. Shizuo wasn't here. No one was here. Now that he thought about it- he hadn't even seen any birds though this area was deserted there were still plenty of trees around. Maybe it was because of the night? His eyes fell back on the devilish moon in the sky. How unnatural, he thought bitterly. Though after all he knew by now there was nothing in this world that could be impossible. Maybe he was dreaming? Actually the thought had struck him before, but Izaya didn't feel like he was sleeping. He could think clearly, take in his surroundings in every detail. When he lowered himself to the ground to touch the blowing grass with his fingers he could clearly feel the raw surface tickling at his tips. No, there was no way that this could be a dream. There were too many details, too many sensations in his body reacting towards his environment._

 _The raven looked back to the impressive church. He noticed small lights in its windows and his eyes twitched in anticipation of entering it. Maybe Shizuo was in there. Though Izaya would cut him a new face, if the blonde didn't have a good explanation for leaving the raven out here on the cold ground._

 _He went closer to the building its formidable façade coming in sight. Izaya could clearly see the soft lines in the stone forming smaller arches on the walls. From close he even realized that the stone itself had different colors. Smaller fragments of blue, black, gray, dark red and violet stone were put next to each other, slightly reflecting the moon's lights. The view was mesmerizing and for a short moment it caught the raven's breath. The entrance was built between arches, surrounding by a big one with a statue on top. Following the lines of the sculpture with his eyes, the raven noticed the other statues right next to the one in the middle. In the darkness he couldn't clearly see the details, just here and there the lights of the church were bright enough to let him notice the shape of human bodies with unnatural additions: Big horns on their heads, Paws instead of hands and sharp teeth blinking in their mouths. Demons. The thought let the raven shudder. As if the situation wasn't already scary enough. He approached the big wooden door, pressing with his hands against it. Noticing that it wouldn't open he used the iron chain attached to it to bang against the wood. The noise was unnaturally loud and filled the air with a sense of thread. Alarmed Izaya looked around to see if someone had heard it and came into his direction. But the only sound still lingering in the air was the wind. Suddenly a loud creak was to hear causing the raven to flinch. He looked back to the door that was slowly opening with a couple of strange sounds, as if it hadn't been opened for years._

 _Izaya was filled in the light of candles. In front of him was a big room filled with a row of big iron candlesticks. Nothing else was to see. The raven wondered who could have opened the door, but he didn't bother to step inside for the cold that was still freezing him to death outside._

 _His eyes moved around constantly alarmed and pressed to slits. Izaya knew that someone had to be here. He could feel a present that was nagging at his skin. He wouldn't say he was afraid of it, but it definitely made him a lot more careful. His heart jumped when the door automatically closed after him. Izaya looked all around himself to see if there was any movement - but nothing. His heart still racing he calmed down a bit taking a closer look at the door. Again there were iron chains attached to it that were ending in holes leading through the wall. His eyes narrowed. Practically it would be possible that the chains were automatically opening the doors, still someone had to activate such an automatism. Speaking someone had to know that he was here._

 _Still alarmed the raven fumbled for a switchblade at his body sadly noticing that he was indeed unarmed. Knowing that there was no way back, he decided to follow the candlesticks. Its lights were hanging above his head about half a meter in the air. The iron sticks were surely leading a way to the centre of the church. While following the enlightened way Izaya tried to identify anything behind the sticks in the darker corners, but all he could see was stone. After a while he gave up. He couldn't see anything, nor could he hear anything beside his own steps. And if he was honest to himself he didn't really want to know if there was something in the darkness observing him with his eyes. The thought made his skin get goose bumps._

 _The way ended at stairs leading to the floor below. The raven snorted at how ironical this situation was, before he started going down._

 _After a while his ears sharpened. He paused for a moment and closed his eyes. NHHH… There it was. He could hear a silent whimper in the distance. When he opened his eyes again, he followed the stairs, until he reached a floor where the ways were parted into two directions._

 _GNNHHN… Again! The raven dashed to the right concentrating on the sound. This time Izaya started running slightly. Was the sound disturbing? Yes. Was this situation horrifying? Indeed. But all the raven wanted was to find another human being. Someone who could tell him, where he was. Someone who could tell him what had happened to him._

 _Deeper and deeper he ran into the church. Here and there he took a way right or a way left, always concentrating on the sound that grew louder and louder. Somewhere on the way it deemed him that he must have entered some kind of underground labyrinth under the church, but he couldn't care less, now that he had already entered it._

 _He was close. He could tell. Maybe one more time to the right and he was there. The whimpers were really loud now. And then his breath stopped. Someone was talking!_

" _You think it's time?"_

" _Yes, let's begin!" A laugh was to hear followed by an intensified whimper._

" _You two wouldn't be in such a situation if your failure of brother had given us what we wanted~"_

" _He's right! Don't look at us this way! It's all his fault!"_

" _You could say: We are only doing what we have to do~ HAHAHAHA"_

 _It were clearly two men talking and laughing crazily in unison. What scared the raven while listening to their discussion, were the steady sounds of some other person. From the discussion Izaya could guess that it were probably two persons. Only painful whimpers and cries were to hear, not a word was spoken. Maybe their mouths were kept shut?_

 _Suddenly the whimpers grew louder, almost painful and desperate as if someone was pleading for his life._

 _Izaya couldn't resist. He stepped closer. He counted in his head before peeping through the entrance._

 _1_

 _2_

 _3_

 _He stepped in the door way and his eyes widened. His pulse stopped. Everything went silent._

 _There were two men and two girls._

 _Mairu and Kururi._

 _They were hanging in the air, their wrists in chains that were connected to the ceiling. Their naked feet were just slightly touching the ground, almost hanging in the air. Their clothes were cut at several places revealing most of their body parts. Just the short school skirts were left, their breasts were just covered enough by a small rest of their school uniforms while they mouth were held shut with cloths. Blood was running down their arms coming from their wrists. It was running all the way down coloring their clothes red and leaving small driblets on the ground._

 _Then there were the two guys laughing their asses off at his sisters' misery._

 _His vision died for a moment. Izaya thought he was about to vomit at the sudden sickness that took his body._

 _Then his eyes fell back on one of the men. He was holding a knife into a flame right next to him. Its blade was glowing red, when he took it out again eyeing it with a devilish grin._

 _After that everything went really fast. No one seemed to have noticed the raven entering the room. Even his sisters were staring at the knife with a horrified expression, tears filling their eyes. Mairu was the one closer to the man, her body shaking in horror when he closed the gap between the blade and her naked belly. When the iron touched her soft skin Izaya could hear her swallowed scream. The blade burned itself into the skin leaving a red line and a foul scent in the air. An evil grin was spreading on the man's face, but he didn't get to do more._

 _When he saw the man touching his sister, a sudden rush of adrenaline flooded through Izaya's veins. He sprinted towards the man with the knife, jumping on his back while kicking the blade out of his hand. It landed somewhere on the ground, but Izaya couldn't care less, when the guy managed to shake him off with such a strength that he wouldn't have expected from someone with this body. The guy looked like a normal man, maybe a bit more muscular than regular but still against Shizuo he wouldn't stand a chance. Still Izaya had the feeling that this guy was in no way inferior to Shizuo's power, because the strength he used was at least the one of a wrestler. How was this even possible?_

 _Being finally shaken off, the raven went into a protecting position holding both of his fists in front of his body. He was shaking. He wanted to run away. It was like with Shizuo so many times before. His body wasn't used to fighting. It was used to running. And everything about this situation screamed danger to his brain. He needed that knife! With a knife the raven would have a chance. His eyes trailed along the bottom, when his enemy suddenly seemed to calm down from the raven's surprising attack. Their eyes met for a moment and a dark grin spread on the guy's face that made the raven's skin crawl. There was an unnatural shining in the guy's eyes. A dark red. Izaya's eyes widened when he noticed from where he knew that red. The moon outside. And suddenly everything made sense._

 _Demon._

 _That was the one word filling the raven's mind when that unnatural sparkle met him. But it was too late. Suddenly strong arms were grabbing Izaya from behind making him loose composure. The other guy was holding him with the same strength and the raven already thought that he would take out his scapula if he was pushing just a little stronger._

" _Look who we have here~"_

" _You came just in time! We were about to have some fun with your little twin sisters here~" The other one in front of him chuckled._

 _Izaya shot him a glare. "Let them go!"_

" _Well, of course we let them go~ If you have got the money we wanted!"_

 _The raven went numb. His eyes trailed to his sisters that were staring at him in terror. But it wasn't just fear he could see, there was also hope. Hope that their big brother would save them. Hope that everything was going to be fine. Hope that was breaking Izaya's heart._

" _Looks to me that you don't have it~" The other one chuckled, taking the knife back from the bottom. Izaya's eyes widened in fear, when he approached Mairu once again._

" _No wait! Please let them go! You can have me!" He pleaded but the man just started laughing full-heartedly._

" _Where would be the fun in that?" He shrugged._

 _The raven started struggling against the tight grip but all he could do was watch as the man rammed the knife into his sister's belly._

 _Gurgling sounds were leaving Mairu's mouth as the blade entered her skin and then here stomach. No resistance at all. The man giggled and turned the knife around in the girl's flesh. He body started shaking when the blade slowly wandered horizontally along her belly. Her eyes grew big and the gurgling sound grew louder until blood was running along the cloth in her mouth and down her chin. Leaving an accurate cut along her stomach blood was flooding out her belly until parts of her organs fell out of the wound. Being cut open like a pig his sister was hanging there left to death and Izaya could do nothing but feel tears running down his cheeks while watching her fight death._

" _Let's see how she's going to die? Is she going to suffocate on her own blood or will the blood loss do the deal? Wanna take a bet on that?~" The man behind him whispered into his ear. The hot breath felt like burning his skin but all he could take in was the sight in front of him._

 _His younger sister fighting for air, her organs closely hanging from her belly downwards almost touching the ground before one final tremble shook her body and her eyes turned around in her skull._

 _Dead._

 _Mairu was dead._

 _And there was nothing Izaya could do._

 _Just then his eyes fell to Kururi who was screaming behind the cloth in her mouth. She was trying to free herself shaking her body furiously. As a result the iron chain was rubbing her skin bloody around her wrist._

" _Hush, hush… Not so impatient. It's your turn now~"_

 _The man approached the trembling girl but before attaching the blade to the girl's skin he turned around to look Izaya in the eyes._

" _Why don't we ask your brother where he wants me to cut?"_

 _He pointed with the blade to the belly. "Here, where I cut your sister?"_

 _He went downwards with the blade lingering with it right between her legs drawing small circles into her skirt. "Here?~"_

 _The blade went up again sliding vertically over the skin not cutting in though._

" _Or maybe the whole way?~" The guy asked moving the blade over the belly, her breasts and at last stopped at Kururi's trembling neck._

" _No… please stop…" The raven whispered, tears still running down his face. He didn't even support his own body with strength anymore. The guy behind him was holding him up completely._

" _You know what? If you don't tell me where I have to kill her, I will just cut her into tiny pieces~"_

 _And then the guy didn't hesitate. One swift movement and the knife was deep in the girls skull popping out her left eye. Loud screams were heard when the eye fell to the ground being disconnected from the rest of the brain._

" _Is that enough Izaya? Or do you want me to take the other one, too?"_

 _The man laughed darkly when the knife, that was stained in blood by now, turned back to the skull._

" _How much do your sisters have to endure because of you?" He asked ironically before setting the knife in front of the second eye._

 _Izaya couldn't anymore. He saw his sister trembling with fear. Her face contorted in pain while her right eye watched the approaching blade in horror. His brain wouldn't listen. Sudden anger was filling his veins. A hatred deep down his soul was pushing through to the surface. Izaya couldn't tell if it has always been there kept hidden deep inside of him or if it just came to life in the middle of this. But he didn't care. All he wanted was the strength that came with it. A strength that started filling his blood and coming with it through his whole body. It went into his cells and captured them until all he could feel was hatred and destruction._

 _And before everything went dark around him, there was just one thought left in his mind:_

 _KILL_

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 **For explanation: This is indeed a dream of Izaya BUT it will have strong impacts on the reality that you will see in the next chapter ! We are finally reaching the supernatural part :DDD**

 **See you in 2017!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey, I'm back again~**

 **I'm finally free from university! I decided to update this story weekly now until -well I actually (finally!) finish it OR- university starts again, which would be around the 3rd April ^^**

 **Enough of me! The real supernatural stuff is finally taking place! I hope you enjoy :D**

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"The fuck?" Shizuo groaned.

He was lying on the floor rubbing his back with one hand while the other one was holding his head. Just seconds ago he had been deep asleep.

Then suddenly something had hit him so hard that it had kicked him out of bed.

He hadn't really felt the kick though. What had woken him up, was his head banging against the wooden bedside table. Even now he couldn't say that he was fully awake. His head hurt like shit and his eyesight was so blurry, that he couldn't say if it came from his still sleepy state or the hit to his head.

Suddenly he heard a grumbling coming from the other side of the bed. When it turned into a whine, the blonde stood up still shakily on his legs and looked over to the other side. He saw Izaya. His back to be precise, and suddenly everything came back to Shizuo. What they had done the night before- the pictures just flashed back into his mind and he couldn't help turning bright red.

Suddenly the raven turned around, his sleeping face now facing the blonde.

Shizuo frowned. Izaya's eyes were tightly pressed, almost as if he was in pain. Suddenly a whimper left the raven's lips, before his body almost violently turned back to the other side.

Shizuo watched for a moment the raven's back, listening to his shallow breathing before it became more unsteady and heavy, almost turning into sobs.

The blonde slowly walked around the bed approaching the raven with caution.

"Izaya?" he spoke softly, but it didn't show any effect. At least not a calming one. The raven started turning violently from one side to the other. Sweat was forming on his head, starting to run down his face.

Shizuo was absolutely sure by now, that the raven had a nightmare. He couldn't really blame him after everything that had happened. The blonde was on the verge to wake the raven, but he hesitated knowing that Izaya probably needed the sleep. Still, watching his beloved being in pain, took him only a second to decide that such a kind of sleep wouldn't help him heal at all.

He pressed both of his hands softly against the smaller man's shoulders, trying to wake him up by shaking his upper body.

Concentrating on the raven's eyes, he was caught off-guard when a balled hand crashed with his jaw. It made the blonde tumble back for a moment, but he didn't lose balance nonetheless.

It wasn't like a punch from Izaya could actually inflict any physical damage on him – god, he had been hit by a truck before without almost no scratch at all – but it hurt nonetheless.

Knowing that Izaya hadn't done it on purpose, Shizuo stood surprisingly calm. At least he was absolutely awake now. Not exactly the morning he had expected, but he hoped that he and the raven could change that once Izaya was awake.

Again he pressed on the raven, this time cautious to block the raven's arms with his elbows, while he pulled Izaya up and down with a little more strength this time.

"Izaya! Wake up already!"

It didn't seem like his effort had any effect. Instead the raven started punching and kicking into his direction trying to push the blonde off. By all means Shizuo got pissed. It was hard to wake sleeping beauty up when he needed both arms to block his arms and his legs.

Getting hold of the raven's hands for a moment, the blonde pulled them together and used his free hand to climb on top of the raven's still struggling body.

Holding down Izaya with his body weight now, he hoped that the raven would finally calm down, but instead he seemed to take all his strength into his upper body, trying to pull his hands free.

"God damn it! Izaya! Wake the fuck up already!" The blonde screamed. It seemed to only make the man under him being more in panic. He started throwing his body from side to side, while his wrists were still hold by Shizuo. The blonde wondered how Izaya was able to bend his upper body so much to the side, when his lower body was still pinned to the bed by the stronger man's weight. He almost feared the raven could actually break his spiral column if he continued doing this.

In one last attempt the blonde grabbed the raven by the shirt with his free hand holding him in place.

"IZAYA! WAKE UP!" he shouted lifting the raven's body up, almost enough to let their chests touch before he slammed him back on the bed. He took care to not use enough strength to hurt the raven seriously, but still enough to let the mattress make a jump under them.

The body under him stopped fighting. The arms, the blonde was still holding, went numb, and Shizuo let go of them.

Izaya's eyes were still closed, though his body wasn't moving anymore. Apparently the nightmare was over. Or Shizuo had used too much strength. The thought scared him shitless! Maybe he actually broke something without noticing it?! He thought, he had been able to control his strength lately, but what if he had been wrong? What if-?

Shizuo stretched his hand out, slightly touching the raven's cheek.

"Izaya?" he whispered worriedly.

And then the eyes in that calm face opened abruptly – and made Shizuo's breath hitch.

Red irises with vertical slit pupils were staring towards him.

The blonde opened his mouth to a response, but was stopped by a sheer inhuman force. Suddenly the raven's hands shot forward, grabbing him and throwing him into the opposite wall.

Shizuo crushed hard enough against it to leave a hole in the concrete. His body arched and he slid to the floor fighting the nausea that was trying to take over him.

What had just happened? Did Izaya just-? Was that even possible?

The blonde opened his eyes in pain. His vision was still blurry but he was able to see the raven sitting straight in the bed watching him with nonchalant eyes.

"Izaya?" the blonde whispered.

But looking at the man in front of him, he didn't know if that was even the true word.

Right now, was that really Izaya? Then were did this inhuman strength come from? The Izaya Shizuo knew would have never been able to throw him through the room. And he did it as if it was nothing! As if Shizuo was a spoon! If Shizuo did this with a person it would have been a normal sight, but Izaya-?!

Shizuo gulped. Standing up he approached the raven with shaking legs.

"Izaya? Can you hear me?"

It was frightening. There wasn't another word for Shizuo to describe it.

These eyes – definitely not Izaya's eyes! - were following every step he took, every motion that they could catch. He had the feeling when he breathed these eyes were pointing towards his chest, and whenever a motion ran through his body, maybe just the twitch of a muscle, they were catching it just as swiftly.

Like an animal watching his prey. Shizuo shuddered.

"Hey, calm down okay?" He asked now standing right next to the raven. The red eyes were piercing right through his own.

Shizuo tried to capture Izaya's face with his hands – just slowly approaching – but right before he would be able to touch the soft skin, the raven's mouth opened for a horrendous scream.

It was loud and high, letting every glas in the room vibrate, closely to breaking. Shizuo's hands shot back covering his ears and trying to reduce the head ache that was immediately spreading through his brain.

In that little moment of letting his defenses down, he was being pushed back into the wall. This time his head went forth and Shizuo could swear blood was leaking somewhere, slowly running down his forehead. However, he didn't have the time to recover from the shock when suddenly a really angry flea was all over him pushing him down into the bottom.

"What the fuck? Flea?!" he shouted before strong hands reached forward grabbing around his neck and pressing onto it. The blonde had to tense all of his muscles to not let it snap immediately. The force was intense! It wasn't normal! Even Shizuo had his time to work against it. His hands grabbed the small wrists that were still holding his neck and tried to pull them away.

"I...za...ya..." he managed to bring out but there was no sign in the red eyes, that they even understood what he was saying.

Shizuo had to act fast. He didn't want to hurt Izaya's body, but he couldn't stay in this position. He was at a disadvantage here. God, there was even a chance that the guy was going to choke him to death if he didn't do anything.

The blonde managed to get his leg free under the rather light weight on him and kicked the raven hard enough to send him flying through the room. The small man landed in the opposite wall falling back onto the bed.

Shizuo immediately regretted his action, when Izaya wasn't moving for a second. He stood up, mumbling the other's name while approaching. And then the raven was back up, red eyes staring at him with fierce hatred and though Shizuo didn't know what was going on – he knew he had to snap the raven out of it.

Hell, this wasn't Izaya anymore- not in the slightest way. The raven had never looked at him like that, not even when they still had been enemies, and he surely would never after last night.

" _Shizuo Heiwajima_ "

The blonde froze, his eyes wide. Izaya -no, that thing- had just said his name. But not with Izaya's voice. This voice was low, very low, overlapping itself on different levels. Shizuo couldn't really define it, but it sounded like one person was speaking with more than one voice at a time. It was frightening and goose bumps were showing on his skin.

Was this actually … was this actually a demon?

For the first time in his life he had this thought. Even with Celty, who could use rather demonic powers, he had never had this thought.

And suddenly a high-pitched laughter left the thing's mouth sending thrills down Shizuo's spine.

" _What's the problem, Heiwajima? Don't you like this body anymore?_ " It said mentioning towards his chest, slowly sliding down his hand and stopping at his crotch.

"You're not Izaya..." The blonde whispered still in shock.

" _Ahahahaha!_ " The demonic thing put his hands to the front, now on all four slowly crawling towards the end of the bed. " _It's still his_ _sexy_ _body though~_ "

And then something in Shizuo snapped. He didn't know what it was. Maybe the proof, that it was actually Izaya in front of him? Maybe the thought, that if this was his body, Izaya's mind had to be in it somewhere? It didn't matter.

The blonde dashed forward, ready to fight whatever had taken control of his lover's body. And a fight was what he got.

The first arm that came flying was caught by his hand. The second one however managed to cling into his bare chest leaving a row of bloody scratches. When he tried to get a hold of it, the smaller body twisted in a way, that it took a 360 degree turn.

Something cracked.

Shizuo didn't know if it was Izaya's arm or his shoulder.

The free hand was now directed to his other side, punching him this time. All air flew out of the blonde's lungs. He even thought that maybe one or two rips broke. An evil grin spread on Izaya's face when he saw the painful expression the blonde was able to show. Shizuo cursed under his breath for being so stupid. He was still not used to being against someone that could actually match him in strength. And he also wasn't used to be against someone who wasn't plainly up defeating him in a fair match, but someone who actually wanted to see him in pain. This thing didn't want him just unconscious or dead, before it wanted to hear him scream in pain and beg for his life. Shizuo didn't have to be a genius to notice it. Every idiot could see it when the thing's expression changed into pure and evil delight, whenever it saw him showing the pain- and the eyes were the worst by far. The blonde had never felt like that before- like a prey that was on the edge of being killed and eaten up.

He caught the other hand this time. He wouldn't let this monster have him this easily. Shizuo too, was a monster after all.

"Izaya! Snap out of it!" he screamed but it only seemed to pleasure the demon more. His obvious helplessness. The despair, when it slowly dawned him, that he might not be able to save his lover.

"Think of your sisters! How are you going to save them, when you're like this?" the blonde shouted from his lungs. He used all his strength to press the kept body back onto the mattress. It was still fighting, trying to kick him away, but Shizuo once again crawled onto it and pressed his weight on the smaller frame. This time he was using enough strength that the demon wouldn't be able to kick him.

" _Nonsense, Heiwajima! These pretty little_ _sluts_ _are already getting fucked! Just like you did with_ _this body_ _last night!_ "

Though the demon kept laughing all the time, he was still furiously trying to get free. Shizuo needed everything to keep the body down and prevent it from hurting either him nor Izaya's body.

"No! Izaya, that's not you, who's saying this! You know, they need you! Only you can save them!"

" _You filthy, pathetic thing! Just like them! Just like them! You will all get devoured by me! WHAHAHAHAHA! EVERYONE OF YOU! YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC SOULS!_ "

Shizuo's eyes widened. Just in time he managed to pull his head back, when the demon tried to bite his neck. Was this what the guy meant by devouring him?

The blonde just had the feeling that the guy's unpredictability made his brain not function properly. Somehow Shizuo absolutely didn't know what to do.

Then there was this sudden flicker in the demon's eyes, the slowly upcoming ends of his mouth – and Shizuo knew that guy was planning something, that something was about to happen, he just couldn't grab this something.

Then everything happened really fast. The demon bit tightly into the flesh of his arm, that had been way too close to Izaya's head. The teeth went right through the skin, blood started to paint the white mattress red. Shizuo screamed in utter pain when he tried to get his arm free from the bite, the teeth sinking deeper into the flesh while doing to.

"Fight it, flea! God damn it!" he screamed trying to just adjust to the pain. If he tried to pull his arm back, he would just rip off a piece of his flesh. Instead he could as well stay like this.  
" _God's not here, Shizu-chan~ He's never been even close!_ " The demon giggled letting go of his arm.

Shizuo could see the print of every single tooth on his arm. That would be a nice little scar for the next month.

The blonde used the new freedom to bring his hands to the demon's neck and pressed onto it. His lower arms and elbows were pressed into the demon's upper arms and made him mostly unable to move.

" _So you finally decided to kill him?_ " came the laughed reply. Of course, the demon was talking about Izaya.

Shizuo didn't want to do this. He just figured that that piece of shit wouldn't leave Izaya's body and well- as long as it was in Izaya, he couldn't just beat it to a bloody pulp. Instead he decided on trying to use a different technique. Maybe cutting the raven off air, the loss of oxygen to his brain, would somehow bring Izaya back to the surface. Hell, Shizuo wasn't an exorcist nor a doctor. He didn't know if this was a good idea! But it was the only thing he could come up with at the moment.

"Fight him, Izaya." he said steadily.

Apparently the demon figured out what the blonde was trying to accomplish. He went silent for a moment, his smile vanished. Then all of a sudden he started fighting again with all his strength, trying to break free of the deadly grip.

But Shizuo didn't care. The demon could scratch him, dig his nails into the flesh of his sides or bite into every part of his skin. He would safe Izaya. He would!

" _Get off! You ugly_ _piece of trash_ _! Get off_ _me now!_ " The demon started insulting him. His hands came partly free leaving bloody scratched all over the blonde's body.

But Shizuo stayed calm.

"Come back to me, Izaya."

The skin on Izaya's face started turning red. The evil eyes were popping out of it, glassy but still demonic red. The demon's voice finally died down, his mouth only opened to desperately trying to bring some air to his dying lungs.

He was close. Shizuo knew, he could kill his lover right now. Or he would kill the demon. In this moment.

It had to work.

"KICK HIM OUT IZAYA!"

He pressed his lips on Izaya's. The blonde closed his eyes. Doing this, he didn't want to look into the demon's eyes. He wanted to see Izaya's. So badly.

He treasured the action for a moment, wishing that it would work.

His eyes still closed, he pulled his head back.

Shizuo was afraid, what he would see, if he opened them again.

His lover's eyes or a dead body. It were quite the extremes.

He took a deep breath and opened them, just to stare in shock.

First thing he saw was that Izaya's eyes had turned back to a rather brownish color. And Shizuo knew that these were Izaya's, that the demon was finally gone, and a wave of relief washed over him. Then the next second, he noticed that he was still pressing down on the raven's neck. That Izaya's face was still red. That he still wasn't getting any air.

And Shizuo pulled his hands back so rapidly that he tumbled backwards with his upper body.

As soon as he did, Izaya breathed in heavily. He coughed several times and his hands, that were free now, came up to touch the place at his neck, where Shizuo's hands had been just seconds ago.

The blonde just stared at him in shock. His brain couldn't quite figure out, if he was happy or still in fighting mode or just scared to his bones.

"Sh..i...zu...o" The raven started whispering with a hoarse voice.

"Huh?"

A shaking hand found it's way into the air. Shizuo followed it's motion with curious eyes.

Izaya pointed to the side, and just slowly the blonde followed the line to see, that he was pointing to a glass of water on the bedside table.

"Oh sure..." the blonde mumbled, finally standing up from the raven's body. He grabbed the glass and sat next to him. Slowly he connected it to Izaya's lips cautious not to hurt him anymore.

Izaya definitely had problems drinking, a least he had quite the painful expression on his face while doing so.

The blonde's other hand found his way into Izaya's hair, stroking it softly. He felt bad, when he saw the way the skin on the raven's neck already turned bluish.

It took a while, until he finished the glass and even longer until his face got a slightly normal color back.

"I'm sorry..." he said after a while his head placed on Shizuo's shoulder.

They were still trying to calm down. Both knew that they should see a doctor soon, but right now they just wanted to stay like this together. Calm. Safe. Hearing the other's soft breathing in the silent room.

"Don't be. It wasn't you."

"Still..."

"Shh..." Shizuo hushed, his hand stroking through some loosen strands on the raven's forehead.

"Everything's fine now. We are going to be okay."

His eyes fell on the big bruise on Izaya's neck, the clear prints of his hands that were going to be seen soon. They wandered over the mattress, that was stained in blood, literally no place could be seen where no drop of blood had fallen onto. And then to his arm, that was still bleeding and that would have to be stitched up soon, next to the horrendous amount of bloody scratches all over his body.

For the first time in his life Shizuo didn't trust his own words.

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 **I felt quite insecure about this chapter. Since I'm not really in the fandom anymore, I can't say wether this story is good or something I would like to read. I'm still going to finish it for my Readers though ;) Reviews are appreciated.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone! This chapter is going to be a little cute and relaxed~ It's literally the calm before the storm ;) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 17

Izaya couldn't help it. His hands would always trail upwards to touch his neck. Unconsciously of course. It was still hurting, but not as much as before. Still it felt as if something was touching him, an invisible hand that was still wrapped around his neck. Breathing was still hard, and whenever he gulped, his throat itched enough to make him cough.

Then his eyes would dart to the side as to try to find something, that could catch his attention and distract him from this horrible feeling. And it wouldn't take long until his eyes would wander towards Shizuo's face, see the look on it, the guilt that was shown in his eyes, whenever Izaya touched that spot.

A scarf was wrapped around it now that they were walking along the street on their way to Shinra. They didn't exactly patch up each other after what had happened, but they still didn't go out looking as if they had just survived the apocalypse.

Except for the scarf Izaya didn't do much. His shoulder hurt like shit, something was probably dislocated or maybe worse and broken. It was the first time in his life, that he had actually been happy to wear a black shirt while sleeping. He had the feeling he was spreading a horrible smell, but he couldn't care less right now. The raven had tried to force himself and change his shirt a couple of times, but he wouldn't even be able to raise it over his belly button thanks to the pain spreading in his upper body.

Shizuo had it worse though. He had been bleeding pretty sincerely, literally everywhere. Izaya still felt guilty. He didn't have much memory of what had happened. It wasn't actually him who did it, but the one who had possessed his body.

Still he had been lingering under the surface of his own body all the time., observing Shizuo getting hurt. It had felt like watching him getting hurt through a mirror, almost like a dream – or rather a nightmare in this case. He had wanted to wake up, to make it stop. But something had been holding him back, pressing him under water in his own mind. The raven had tried to scream, to fight, but it wasn't helping. His mind was red. Drowning in red water, making him desperate. And when he noticed that he couldn't fight it, that there wasn't going to change anything, suddenly the red water had begun to flicker and become lighter.

The force that was holding him in place became weaker in the same time, and suddenly he had been able to hear Shizuo. To hear him clearly. He was telling Izaya to fight. To come back. The raven had regained his strength then. He had reached for the surface and just a second later he had been back in reality.

He hadn't even noticed it before, but the raven had felt numb while being drowned. He hadn't felt adrenaline or pain or anything, that his body should have felt while fighting. Maybe he had actually been totally cut off from his body?

However, when he had been back to consciousness, he had felt the pain in his shoulder, the weight pressing on his body and the hands on his neck. And he had wanted to say something so badly, to tell Shizuo that he was finally back, but the blonde had his eyes closed and just kept choking him.

It all went well in the end, but since then Izaya had been rethinking this situation over and over again, while walking towards the underground doctor.

And he came to a conclusion:

He would rather die by Shizuo's hands than let this demon or whatever it was take over him again.

The thought about death didn't scare him as much as before. If a demon existed, hell must exist as well. And in that case also heaven.

And he would rather end up in one of those, then to be kept hostage for the rest of his life in a body, that wasn't even his anymore.

At least that was what he had been thinking, while watching Shizuo put some bandages on his bitten arm and change into a black shirt, Izaya had lend him. A white one wouldn't do. No one on the street should see the bleeding scars all over his body. Shizuo had said that it had been fine. That just the bite mark should be covered because it would lose too much blood.

But just as Shizuo who kept feeling guilty for hurting Izaya's neck, Izaya felt guilty for inflicting so much pain on the blonde.

Should he tell Shizuo to just kill him if that happened again?

That Izaya would rather die than to hurt the blonde?

Izaya thought that it was still too soon for that and that the blonde would probably shut him down anyway.

Shizuo would never kill him if there wasn't another way. Izaya knew.

Still the uncertainty hurt. Not knowing how it happened. Not knowing what that thing in him was. If it would come back again. Come back to hurt him. Come back to kill everyone he loved.

And he couldn't take care of it as long as his sisters were still gone. They were first. They were the most important. And he felt so weak, that he hadn't been able to rescue them yet.

Just then an idea struck him.

"Say Shizu-chan!" The blonde flinched in surprise. "This … thing, would you say it was strong?"

The debt collector hesitated a moment as to understand what exactly the raven was talking about. Then still being deep in thoughts his hand trailed along his arm, where the bite wound was bandaged.

"He- IT was unbelievable strong. Probably even stronger than me." His face grew serious while saying so. Was Shizuo angry that something was stronger than him? Or maybe … scared?

"Why do you ask?"

Izaya looked back to Shizuo.

"I had an idea. But you probably won't like it."

"Try me." A small smile was placed on the blonde's face. Izaya was thankful, that Shizuo even in these situations could make the raven feel confident.

"I thought, that we could use it's strength."  
"For what?" A frown had placed itself on the blonde's face.  
"For saving my sisters." Izaya looked back to Shizuo but this one was staring to the front probably thinking about what he had said.

For a while they were going in silent. Izaya didn't see any need to say more. Persuade Shizu-chan? How? Izaya himself wasn't even too sure about his idea. It sounded stupid and dangerous. But at the same time the raven was desperate. He needed to help his sisters. He just had to. And if this was what it took, then-

"You were right." Izaya looked back to Shizuo, when this one started to speak again.

"I don't like this idea." The blonde was still looking to the front, but his voice was serious, still calm and silent, so no one could overhear what they said. After all they were catching attention. It didn't matter, if they were fighting and bleeding, or laughing and having fun. For the people it was enough that they were Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara. It was enough to observe them, to be cautious about them or to try to catch what they were saying.

"It's way too dangerous for you. You know, your shoulder, that wasn't exactly me who did this. During the fight, that guy just twisted your body in a way, that it broke. He didn't even care about the pain." His eyes grew angry at the memory. "Damn, I don't think he could even feel it."

Izaya observed the blonde. His face was twitching in anger, though his eyes were still absent. The hands were clenched to fists as if he wanted to punch someone for the earlier situation.

"Calm down, Shizu-chan."

The blonde's eyes immediately widened a little before he groaned in frustration. His hands relaxed a little after a second though.

"Sorry! It's just that this thing might hurt itself and you have to suffer the consequences."

Izaya nodded. He could clearly understand where the blondes frustration was coming from.

"I know, but you have to see it from my position. You'd do the same for Kasuka, right?"

Shizuo hesitated, before he spoke again. "Yeah, I'd die for him."

A soft smile was placed on Izaya's face when he heard that. Both went silent after that for a while.

"You know … Oddly I'm not afraid of death anymore, at least not as much as before." The raven whispered. Shizuo had looked to the front, his eyes just slowly trailing back to Izaya's face.

"What do you mean?"

"Before I've not exactly been afraid of death itself. I've always just been afraid of not existing anymore, with that a possibility that came with death. I've never cared about pain though. So, a demon is supposed to be from hell. And if hell exists, heaven should exist, too."

"You think, you'd go to heaven?"

Izaya had to giggle. "Are you implying that I'm evil enough to come to hell, Shizu-chan~?"

The blonde's went red when he noticed his mistake. "That wasn't what I meant!"

"Haha! It's fine. Don't worry about it~" Izaya chirped his hand touching the blonde's arm softly to make him relax a bit. Shizuo's cheeks were still a little red and Izaya thought it was absolutely adorable.

"I know, that I did a lot of things, that'd justify me coming to hell. But I thought, if I died trying to rescue my sisters… It'd maybe be enough to reach heaven."

His eyes looked directly into Shizuo's. The blonde just wondered how the raven could say things like that as if it was nothing.

"Why so serious, Shizu-chan~? I'm absolutely sure, you wouldn't have any problem getting a place in heaven. For a while now, I have the feeling down to the core you're just like an innocent child."

It just caused the blonde to gain a deeper red again. Izaya laughed out loudly, when the blonde hissed at his own reaction.

"Sh-Shut up!"  
"But you know, it'd be such a shame to leave earth. I'm really afraid of leaving you and to never find you again."

Shizuo looked up trying to read the expression on Izaya's face. There was still a soft smile on the raven's face, but his eyes looked serious, maybe a little sad.

"It doesn't matter."

Izaya's eyes widened in surprise, when the blonde spoke so suddenly and took the raven's hand into his own.

"I'd find you. Even if I was in heaven and you were in hell. I'd reach down and get you, and then I'd never let go of you again."

Izaya had to admit, this felt nice. The warmth of Shizuo's hand and the sincerity in his words.

Shizuo made him feel, as if he could let go of all of his problems and just place them on the blonde's shoulders. Shizuo would take care of it.

Izaya smiled.

"Sometimes you really remind me, why I've fallen in love with you."

The blonde just turned red again.

The raven literally giggled the rest of their way.

* * *

"What the fuck did you do?" Shinra was talking to Shizuo directly. His tone was angry and he probably had never spoken with the blonde like this before. But seriously, what was the debt collector thinking?! His eyes observed the serious bruise on the raven's neck. Hand prints, especially the lines of the fingers, were clearly seen. Hell, it was a wonder that Izaya could even breath properly with the state his neck was in!

"Calm down, Shinra! He didn't do it on purpose!" The raven tried to calm him, but the doctor still looked condemning towards Shizuo.

"How could someone do this by accident?" Shinra almost screamed. He could clearly see the guilt in the blonde's eyes. Why would Shizuo feel guilty, if it wasn't his fault? Shinra wasn't stupid. Izaya was just trying to protect the blonde!

"Listen! I attacked him!"

"So what? As if Shizuo wasn't strong enough to use a different method than to choke you to death!"  
"Show him the bite wound, Shizuo!"

The blonde flinched when his name was mentioned. He had tried to endure the doctor's words in silence, until he'd eventually calm down. Just slowly his other hand moved towards the black sleeve and pulled it up. He could see that blood had come through the bandages and his fingers were fighting with it until he could finally remove it.

Shinra's eyes widened when he saw the deep wound in Shizuo's arm. "You did this … by biting him?"

Izaya nodded. The doctor could see the guilt that was displayed on the raven's face this time. He seriously didn't understand what was going on. If they had such a serious fight, why were these two on good terms now?

"Look, Shinra. We will explain everything, but could you just patch up Shizuo's arm first?"

Shizuo's head raised in panic. "No Izaya, you should first-"

"Shizuo, it's fine." The raven smiled softly towards the blonde, before he was directing the doctor again. "There are some more injuries, but we can't let Shizuo loose more blood."

Shinra nodded. He had calmed down a little. "But I demand that you start to explain right now!" And with that he went off to get his tools.

Shizuo and Izaya were sitting next to each other on the couch when he came back. The doctor took place in front of the blonde.

"Start explaining Izaya!" he demanded when he started cleaning the wound on Shizuo's arm.

Izaya giggled at the behavior of his best friend. "Yes sir!" he shouted playfully. "In short: During sleep I got possessed by a demon, that attacked Shizu-chan. During our passionate fate, this hero here" he mentioned with his hand towards the blonde next to him "tried everything to safe his beloved one -which is me- from the evil creature. The only serious injury that was actually caused by Shizu-chan, is the bruise on my neck, and he only did this to get me back to control my body. The rest was more or less done by the reckless behavior of the demon itself." And with that he ended.

Shinra was looking dumbfounded at him for a moment. Even Shizuo had his "Are you serious"-expression.

"Th-That's a joke?" The doctor stuttered after a while, still not leaving the raven's eyes.

"You're the one with the girlfriend without a head. Can't you let me have a demon in my body?" Izaya asked pretending to be hurt by the doctor's comment.

"That's not funny, flea." It was the blonde who spoke.

For moment the smile on Izaya's face vanished when he looked back to Shizuo.

"I know." He just said after a while. He then moved swiftly towards the blonde next to him and pressed a kiss on his cheek. When he turned back, the smile was back on his face and Shizuo was wearing a dumbfounded expression.

"Do you believe me?" He then asked looking back to the doctor who watched their display in disbelieve. He had the feeling there were quite a few things going on, he didn't know about yet.

"Is that what happened?" Shinra asked this time talking to Shizuo.

"Yeah."  
"I see." The doctor said. His eyes were looking into the air, thinking about what he had just heard. His face relaxed after a while and he looked back into the blonde's hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry, that I said mean things to you, Shizuo."

The blonde just waved at him a smile on his face. "It's fine. Don't mention it anymore."

"Well then, let's patch you up." Shinra answered pulling the needle through the blonde's skin. He had always thought that it was a wonder, how Shizuo's skin could endure so many attacks, but would still be able to be pierced through by a simple needle.

He was sewing in silence, from time to time looking to the raven who was smiling and moving his fingers softly along the blonde's arm. Shizuo seemed to relax under the touch, on the other hand the blonde had never really seemed to be bothered by being sewed up.

When the doctor was finally done, he moved towards the raven. "Now, let's look at your injury."

"But Shizuo's other-" Izaya started to protest, but was silenced by the blonde.

"Those are mere scratches, Izaya. They will heal in no time! Shinra needs to take a look at your shoulder."

Izaya nodded. Shinra tried to move his shoulder in different directions, that only ended in Izaya hissing in pain. The raven didn't know why he wouldn't just scan the stupid thing right away. He was not far away from just throwing insults at the doctor.

"Just cut open the fucking shirt and scan it!" He screamed once again, when Shinra tried to move his arm.

The doctor frowned, but did as he was told. He knew that Izaya wasn't a pussy, so it had to hurt pretty bad.

He went on to do what the raven had told him. The scan just proved what he had been thinking for a while now.

"Your clavicle is broken and your supraspinatus tendon is seriously damaged."

"What does "seriously damaged" mean?"

The doctor sighed. "It's not ruptured. But it has been stretched very much. It's probably the main source of your pain. I don't think I'll have to operate though. If you're lucky the damage will go back in a few weeks. For your clavicle I'll just bandage your arm and shoulder a little. Don't worry too much about it. After all, we know that you are one lucky bastard."

The raven giggled. "Not very friendly to insult your patients, doctor~"

"If you're my patient, you can pay me for once." Shinra countered and started to bandage the raven's shoulder.

"I think I pay your girlfried plenty." Izaya chirped catching Shizuo's attention.

"Why would you pay Celty? Where is she anyway?" The blonde asked looking between those two guys.

"Shizu-chan, you know what Celty does. She's a transporter, transporting things. And that's exactly what she also does for me." Shizuo just raised an eyebrow showing that he didn't fully believe what the raven was telling. "Hey, I'm an Informant. And information need to be transported, too." Izaya added pretending to be a little hurt. With big eyes he looked back to Shinra searching for help.

The doctor sighed once again. He couldn't believe it. This whole day was just ridiculous to begin with.

"He tells the truth, Shizuo. Izaya and I are best friends. He'd never do anything that could seriously hurt Celty, because he knows how much she means to me. And to answer your other question, she's currently working."

Shizuo wanted to reply something, but suddenly his phone started ringing. The blonde flinched at the strange sound. He didn't even know that he had it with him. When he fumbled it from his pocket and looked at the shown number, it made his blood go cold for a second though.

"Tom! I'm sorry! Did I have to work today?" he shouted into the display. Shizuo seriously couldn't remember whether he should have worked today or not. His morning clearly had put some damage to his brain. The raven and the doctor were watching him with concern.

"What?" He heard his boss say from the other side. "No! Don't worry, Shizuo. You didn't have work today. Are you okay? You sound upset."  
The blonde breathed out the air, he had been holding in his lungs. He gave the other two guys a relaxed look to show them everything was okay. He still had his job. Izaya just giggled, while the doctor looked as dumbfounded as always.  
"I'm okay. Why are you calling?"

"Actually, I got an urgent job. It's probably just me, but I'd feel better if you were with me. You know, for protection." The last words were merely whispered. "Do you have time now?"

"Wait a sec!" Shizuo put his hand on the phone looking to Izaya.  
"He wants me for an urgent case right now."

"I'm not your wife, Shizu-chan. You can go to work whenever you want."

"Yes but-"

"I won't do anything stupid because of my sisters. It's not like I could with the state I'm in anyway. Believe me, after this I'll go home and rest until you come back, my love~"

Shizuo didn't look convinced, but he just nodded, bringing his phone back to his ear.

"I'll meet you now." They were exchanging a meeting place and hanged up.

Shizuo thought that it would be strange to go out dressed all over in black, but he couldn't really help it now. Maybe he wouldn't look so intimidating anymore. At least he himself thought, that his look was rather casual. Maybe even a little like Izaya's, except for the fur coat. But this wasn't really the time to be insecure about his appearance.

The blonde stood up and gave the raven a swift kiss on the lips before he went out and closed the door behind him.

Izaya was still smiling, while Shinra still couldn't believe his eyes.

"Care to explain, where this casual lover's behavior comes from all of a sudden?" He demanded only to mentally slap himself. The smile on Izaya's face grew cocky the moment, the doctor had opened his mouth.

"In short?" The raven asked. Shinra hesitated but nodded eventually, still being afraid of what he was about to hear.

"We had sex. And I guess, this thing between us is official now."

The scream that left the doctor's mouth could be heard in whole Ikebukuro.

* * *

 **Next chapter the beginning of the end will start :D**

 **I'm not sure though how much the ending part will be in chapters yet. Maybe 3 or 4?**

 **Be prepared~**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorryyy for the delay! I had no internet at home the couple of days, hence I had to wait until I returned to my second apartment :(**

 **I'm currently always updating the new dates for updates on my profile. So if some stuff happens (like no internet) it'll stand there!**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

Chapter 18

Izaya couldn't help it. He felt desperate. Normally he would be chirping now. That's what he did whenever he had a nice talk with his best friend. But this time the talk hadn't been nice and his life wasn't really the best either at the moment. Though the raven almost couldn't feel the pain in his shoulder anymore, his whole body felt sore. And tired. At first he hadn't felt it, but now he noticed how weak his body actually appeared to him.

Weak. That was the best word to describe him. He couldn't protect his sisters. Hell, he couldn't do anything without Shizuo! It frustrated him! The bad thing was that he wasn't just angry at himself, but also at Shizuo for being so strong, for being granted a gift that Izaya would never possess. And whenever that thought crossed his mind, he would feel even worse, because he knew that Shizuo was just meaning well and that the blonde loved him.

For a while Izaya had thought too that he had loved the blonde, but then he thought again, that he felt really insecure at the moment, that his mind was a mess and that he couldn't really understand what was going on with it. Maybe he was just clinging to the next person that would give him some attention and take care of him? Maybe he was just using Shizuo? Maybe he would throw the blonde away as soon as his sisters were rescued and everything could go back to normal, after this fog in his brain would be finally removed? And the worst part was that Izaya felt guilt over everything of this when he thought about it. Whenever the blonde was close to him, holding him, spending him some warmth, he would just stop thinking and give into it. But as soon as Shizuo was gone, Izaya would think about it. The guilt would eat him from the inside. All he could think was that this wasn't like him at all. This wasn't him. The Izaya before his sisters had kidnapped, would have never fallen in love with Shizuo, would have never craved for the man's proximity, and over all would have never felt guilty for using the blonde.

After all Izaya had been playing with the blonde plenty before things went downhill.

Or could it actually be possible that he harbored some feelings for Shizuo and hadn't even noticed it?

An ironic smile appeared on his lips. What absolutely strange things had happened, just because they shared the same love for their siblings. If Shizuo wasn't thinking about Kasuka and if he wasn't a good guy from the bottom of his heart, he would have never done that. He would have never helped the raven after all the shit he had pulled on the blonde in the past. Hell, Izaya got him arrested! And even now, all he could think about was how unfair this situation was. His sisters never deserved this. They never deserved such a failure as brother, that couldn't even save them. If Shizuo was their brother, they would have been rescued ages ago. Shit! If Shizuo was their brother, they would have never been kidnapped in the first place. Because he wasn't pulling shit at other people out of curiosity how they could react. Shizuo wasn't a rich bastard that hurt people for his own sick pleasure. And even if he hurt them, they deserved it. Then they would never show up again, because they knew if they angered him, he could break all their bones at once.

Shizuo was amazing. He was gifted. And Izaya couldn't help but hate and love the guy at the same time for it.

He had tried talking about it to Shinra, but the doctor just wouldn't really be a big help.

" _I've been thinking that this is absolutely not like me..." the raven had mumbled under his breath._

" _You mean, acting all lovey-dovey with Shizuo Heiwajima? You're right. If someone had told me that a few years ago, I'd laughed at them and call them crazy." Shinra had answered with a sarcastic grin on his face._

" _You know, I like it. This feeling, whenever Shizuo is close to me..." Izaya had hesitated to continue his thought, but he eventually figured, that he could trust his friend with it. "But I think this is undeserved, in various ways for me."_

 _His eyes had fallen on his friend try to find something in the doctor's eyes. Maybe understanding? Maybe pity? He didn't quite know._

" _This now is actually a lot like you." Shinra finally said with a serious tone. The raven had given a confused look. "You tend to overthink everything. What you do, what others do. What their motives are to do, what they do. And what your hidden motives are for what you do. You always think, there's something hidden, something deeper. Humans are complex, that's why it cant be easy." At this point the doctor had lowered himself in front of the raven and had taken one of his hand into his own. "But sometimes there's just one feeling. And sometimes this feeling is love. It's that simple."_

 _The smile the doctor had shown him had made the raven shudder._

Even now the raven's fingers where circling over his hands unconsciously where the doctor had touched him.

A soft smile was creeping onto his face.

Sometimes it was that simple, ne~?

The raven turned around the keys and opened the door to his apartment.

He welcomed the silence for a second and closed his eyes.

The door fell into its ankles behind his back.

And suddenly he jumped in surprise, when his phone started ringing. Within the silence the sound was horribly loud and annoying.

The raven was close to just ignore the call, but then he saw the text on his phone.

 _Suppressed number._

Could it be-?

He gulped.

He pressed the button and held the phone to his ear. Waiting.

" _Izaya Orihara"_

His eyes widened. A distorted voice!

The raven immediately started breathing faster, when everything around him started spinning.

All he could hear was that voice. He was sure. It must be one of the kidnappers.

Izaya could hear the breathing on the other end of the phone, slowly, as if it was right next to his ear. Or was it his own breath that was getting to his brain?

"Yes?" he whispered, almost not able to hear what he was saying.

" _Do you have the money?"_

Izaya couldn't believe it. His head started spinning. Had it been a week yet? Or was this just a "friendly" reminder that he should hurry up? What if he had to hear his sisters scream again? The raven slowly started to panic, because he knew that it didn't matter. He would never be able to get that money. And if he said it now or later, his sisters would be done for!

How? HOW?! Then it struck him. What Simon had mentioned before! Just lie to them. Tell them, he had the money…

This sounded like a stupid idea. Hell, it was a stupid idea! And right now Shizuo wasn't here!

Izaya hesitated his teeth biting on his lip to calm him down.

He had to do it. This was the only way. He could save his sisters right now. The raven couldn't wait anymore. He couldn't endure anymore. Now or never.

"Yes." Izaya was surprised how steady his voice was. He had expected it to come out whispered or husky, but he sounded absolutely sincere and confident.

For a while, there was nothing on the other end. The raven wasn't even sure, whether he could still hear the sick breathing or not. It felt like eternity to him while he waited for the other one to reply.

" _We will send you further instructions now to your phone. No police. You'll come alone."_

The raven couldn't even reply anything before the call ended abruptly. He just stared at his phone in disbelief. That was it?! Nothing more?!

He waited a few seconds but nothing came. No message. At first he felt furious, that his plan apparently didn't work. Then this fury turned into panic. If the kidnappers really knew that he didn't have the money, what would they do to his sisters?!

The thought almost brought tears to his eyes.

The raven flinched when his phone finally made a sound signalizing that a message had come it. Izaya opened it hesitantly. It was an e-mail and it showed clear instructions on where to go, even with a map.

The raven couldn't believe it. He actually made it! He was so short away from saving his sisters!

A smile spread all over his face when he dialed Shizuo's number.

How would Shizuo react? The blonde would clearly rush and help him. But still, the raven was curious how the other one would want to approach it. Clearly Shizuo would just want to smash that place. It would be so much like him. A laugh left the raven's mouth while he waited for the blonde to take the call. And waited. And waited.

"Stupid protozoan!" the raven hissed after a whole minute. Shizuo probably had his phone silent, the battery was empty or he had destroyed it once again. Wouldn't be a surprise.

Izaya watched the time worriedly. The instructions also included a small time window he had to get there. Of course. If he took too long, the guys would think he had made a visit at the police station first. Izaya sighed in frustration. Those kidnappers weren't stupid. They had thought of everything. Now he couldn't even go out and search for the blonde.

The raven hurried towards his desk, pulling open a couple of drawers. He took out a pen and a piece of paper. His hand almost flew over it when he swiftly wrote some words including a description of the address to the debt collector hoping that he would come and read them in time. After all, Shizuo had mentioned that he had been free at first, but Tom just needed him for one job. He shouldn't take that long then.

He ran over to the desk in front of his couch and placed the paper on it in a way that the blonde should immediately see it. It was the only thing on the desk and was lying right in the middle of it.

Grabbing his jacket he shot one last glance into his apartment.

Why did it feel to him as if he would leave for a longer time? The raven gulped. This insecurity was indeed killing him. If the kidnappers wouldn't be faster. But thinking would bring him nowhere now. All he could do was to hope that the blonde would be here in time.

He left the door unlocked just in case.

Then he left.

* * *

"Don't get in debt, if you don't have the money in the first place!" Shizuo shouted when a baseball bat hit him on the forehead. Instead of starting to bleed the wood on the baseball bat crackled a little. The sound reached the attacker, who started to tumble backwards in shock. His eyes darted towards the now broken wood and then back to the blonde, who was seemingly unhurt.

"M-Monster!" he screamed just in the moment, when the blonde reached towards him and pulled him off the ground to swirl him into the next wall.

"Monster, huh?" Shizuo mumbled to himself, just slightly catching Tom's attention who was standing behind him.

The blonde had beaten a whole group of guys today. Apparently the target had been just the one with the baseball bat, but this one had been surrounding himself with a lot of troublesome guys. Shizuo could totally understand that Tom had wanted his help for this.

Though his mind had been somewhere else most of the time.

At first he had felt guilty that he had left the raven. Once again that was, though he had promised to stay at the raven's side. Then the first guy had started calling him a monster. It didn't bother him. It was an insult he got to hear all the time. But then another guy said it and Shizuo started to wonder. Was he a monster? Because whenever he thought about this word, he had to remember this "thing" from the morning. That demon or whatever that had taken place inside Izaya's body. With eyes as red as blood and an inhuman strength probably equal or even stronger than Shizuo's.

But that wasn't what made the blonde tremble in fear. And it was indeed fear. He hadn't wanted to admit it at first. But Shizuo was scared. He was unbelievable scared of this thing. It was evil in every fiber. He had felt it in the atmosphere surrounding it. As strange as it sounded, he had smelled it too. Evil didn't exactly had an own smell, but the blonde had noticed this foul scent, as if something long dead was in the room. He was sure if "evil" had a smell, this would be it. And then there had been this absolute ignorance about pain. Maybe it was even worse.

Shizuo had thought about this over and over again. At first he had been almost sure, that the demon was just so strong, that he didn't really notice the pain and hence had no problem with hurting himself. But then a different thought hit him. What if it could feel the pain, but had no problem with it, because he actually "liked" it? The blonde was sure that this thing took a sick pleasure from hurting others, but what if it was just as pleasurable for it to get hurt itself? It didn't matter who it was, as long as someone or something got hurt or destroyed. And this was what scared the blonde. The absolute absence of humanity. This wasn't human. It couldn't be.

"Shizuo?"

The blonde jumped in surprise when he heard his name and a hand touched his shoulder. He turned around to see Tom staring at him worriedly.

"What is it?" he asked a bit too fast.

"You've been really absent today. I'm just worried." His friend answered almost apologizing. He took his hand back from Shizuo's shoulder and stepped back.

The blonde sighed. Did he snap at his senpai and didn't notice it? His hand went to his hand covering his eyes for a second. The bright sun was giving him a headache. Was he acting strange? Compared to his usual self probably yes. Was he acting strange when it came to the events that had happened the last days? Izaya's sisters getting kidnapped that Shizuo cared for, him falling in love with the raven or probably just discovering a hidden love that had already been there before, just to get attacked by an enraged demon impersonating his new found lover trying the devour the blonde or at least trying to bite his arm off? Probably not. Actually Shizuo was surprised that he could still deal with it this calmly.

"It's just, a lot of stuff happened lately." He tried to explain. "Not only bad stuff. Something good happened, too. But mainly it's been bad stuff. And some really bad stuff happened just this morning. I'm still dealing with it." Tom already opened his mouth to ask but the blonde silenced him with his hand before he could do so. The blonde himself knew how stupid his explanation sounded. "Don't even ask. It's too hard to explain."

His friend just looked at him confused but then nodded.

"You know, you can always talk to me, Shizuo." He replied instead.

Shizuo smiled at the honest companionship. "I know. But I'm actually in a hurry today. If you don't mind I'll leave now."

Tom gave him a worried look but didn't contradict. "Okay. We're done here."

"I'll tell you everything once it's over. I promise." The blonde said feeling guilty. It felt as if he wasn't trusting Tom to help him. His friend already knew about Izaya's sisters, but he still couldn't tell him about this demon thing. It was just too … frightening. Most probably he wouldn't be able to do anything. The only one who would come to his mind for help would be Celty. After all, she was a kind of supernatural creature, too. So maybe, she knew something about this. Or Shinra or his father? Maybe Izaya had been able to find out something about this.

Shizuo needed to hurry home.

"Sure. See you." He heard his friend say. Shizuo's mind was already with the raven again. Absently he waved his goodbye and made his way towards Izaya's apartment.

He didn't even notice that his steps got faster the closer he got towards the apartment. He was feeling restless when the raven wasn't close to him. Shizuo couldn't really define it, but he needed Izaya to be close to him to know that everything was alright. He constantly had the feeling that something bad might happen whenever he wasn't close and that the blonde wouldn't be able to protect Izaya, once this time came.

He reached the apartment in no time.

He knocked the door quite violently. For him a wonder that it didn't break. It was probably due to Izaya's precautions from the past. The raven had a few apartments and Shizuo knew at least the most common ones. Of course, Izaya wasn't stupid. Back then, the blonde (of course just when the raven had pulled some shit again) would come by and try to kick in the door to kill the raven. At first it actually worked because apparently the raven didn't expect the blonde to find out where he lived. But after a while, the doors got thicker and harder to destroy and some security devices would immediately set off an alarm to get the police there in no time. Shizuo learned to hate closed doors.

When Izaya didn't open up, Shizuo got worried. More out of reflex he tried to open it. A bit surprised he learned that the door had been unlocked.

Immediately a bad feeling rose inside him.

"Izaya?" The blonde shouted storming inside the apartment. The living room was empty and the normally very clean working desk looked as if someone had rummaged through it.

Shizuo ran upwards into the bathroom and the bed room but all he could find was the mess they had left behind after the morning.

Growing desperate the blonde started looking under the desks and inside the closets.

"Come on, flea! That's not funny! Get out here!" he tried to calm himself with, but it didn't help. Once the horrible truth got to him, Shizuo felt as if someone had stolen every bit of air out of his lungs.

Izaya wasn't there.

* * *

 **Three chapters left :D**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorryyyy for the long wait! x((**

 **Hope you enjoy reading!**

* * *

Chapter 19

Shizuo's heart dropped a beat. His breathed hitched. Where was the raven?! The blonde swirled around. His brain told him to run out and scream his lover's name through the streets, until this one would just pop up from somewhere. This was what he would do. It was so typical for the blonde to stop thinking, when he was in panic.

He needed to calm down. There must have been a good reason, why Izaya wasn't there yet. That's right!

His pulse raced a little slower at the thought. Concentration! Panicking wouldn't bring him anywhere. Maybe the raven was still at Shinra's? His eyes trailed to the clock on the wall. How long had he been gone for work? Three or four hours? Could that be possible? The doctor said that Izaya's injuries hadn't been that serious, which meant he should have been done treating the raven hours ago. Maybe they were talking? But that long … Those two said they were best friends, so it would be an option. Though the blonde found the doctor to be annoying after a while with his way too happy behavior. He favored Celty for that. The woman was calm and always found the right words. When his thoughts wandered to the headless rider, an idea struck him. Maybe that was it! Celty could have come back and maybe, just maybe, they were thinking off a way to get rid off the demon? Sounded logical to him.

The blonde had calmed down by now. Izaya would have clearly messaged him, if something had happened. He sighed. Right. Izaya trusted him. Shizuo just had to ensure himself of this over and over again.

Due to their history Shizuo wasn't quite confident, when it came to how Izaya might act in a serious situation. He always appeared more as a guy who would solve his problems on his own. That's what scared the blonde slightly. It was funny, that Izaya always said that Shizuo's unpredictability annoyed him. The blonde could say just the same to the raven. How should he know if the raven wouldn't just run and try to save his sisters on his own? There was no doubt to Shizuo, that Izaya was strong, but strong enough for this…? After all, it wasn't just physical pain they could inflict on him. Having his sisters in their hold Izaya was easy to be manipulated psychologically. Right now it would be quite easy to make the raven act out of character.

Shizuo gulped. A frightening thought came up in his mind and brought a dark fog over it. He didn't want to think about the possibilities.

His hand fumbled with his pocket taking out his phone. Pressing the buttons the dark feeling inside him just rose. The phone was fucking dead! How could he not have noticed?! Was the battery empty? Did it get destroyed during the fight and he didn't even notice it?

What if- what if someone had tried to reach him, but they just couldn't? What if Izaya-?

His breathing became unsteady. Horrible images of Izaya running through dark alleys, strong guys punching him to the ground and torturing him, went through his head. His vision got black for a second, when the room started spinning.

"Izaya..." he whispered into the empty room, his voice being absorbed by the walls.

His body flinched when a sudden ring reached to his ears. It was so loud that he stumbled backwards in surprise.

His eyes snapped through the room looking from where it came. Stupidly they even fell on the display of his phone, hoping that someone would call him. The display though stayed dark, naturally, and Shizuo cursed under his breath.

He looked around concentrating on the sound, only to find that it must have been the phone on Izaya's working desk, that was making the annoying sound.

Shizuo was unsure. Should he take the call? His feet approached the wooden desk hesitating in front of it. Izaya had several phones, so this was probably his business phone. Probably. Still Shizuo didn't have any other clue as Shinra's place, where the raven could be. If he now destroyed one of the raven's several business connections, let it be. Izaya could punch him for that later.

With trembling hands he reached for the phone. "Hello?"

For a second no one answered and Shizuo almost hang up.

"Heiwajima-san?" The other end said and the blonde paused. Shizuo hesitated. He recognized that voice, absolutely sure that he had heard it once before. But where?

"Yeah, who's there?"

"Here's Izaya's Dad. We've talked before." Shirou answered and Shizuo gulped immediately.

"Hello." He replied silently.

What was he supposed to say now that he didn't even know where Izaya was at the moment. Was he supposed to tell his dad? Shizuo felt ashamed. Wouldn't he be considered a bad boyfriend? He hadn't even managed to rescue the raven's sisters, yet alone he wasn't able to protect the raven right now.

He sighed. Hell, he didn't even know if the raven's dad knew about their relationship! Actually he didn't know, if this was official between him and Izaya. Shizuo was absolutely sure about his feelings and that he wanted to protect the raven. And if Izaya would come in now, ask him to make it public that they were, well dating or a couple or whatever, the blonde wouldn't hesitate to say yes. He was so desperately in love and in general desperate and at a loss when it came to his life at the moment, he didn't even know how far he'd go for the raven. But right now, when all the possibilities were racing through his head, he was almost sure, that he would do anything for Izaya.

"Hello, Heiwajima-san!" Shirou shouted happily at the other end. He seemed to be at joy talking to the blonde once again. Shizuo on the other hand wasn't sure if he was too happy about it.

"Funny that we talk once again, when I actually called Izaya! That's going to be a habit now?~"

"Well…" The blonde mumbled. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't just announce something, when Izaya hadn't even talked to his father for himself.

"Don't tell me, you two are dating?!" Shirou suddenly screamed into the phone and Shizuo flinched. Right now he would like to just hang up and run for it. Or disappear into the ground. Both options were better than having this talk right now. Was this what all boyfriends had to endure one day?

Actually he would have liked to get to know Izaya's parents officially once, when this thing between them had been figured out. How you'd do it in the good old days. Instead he had to deal with this now, not knowing whether the raven would approve of it or not. Fuck this! Why could nothing work normally with the raven?!  
"I wouldn't exactly say, we're dating..." he started, but was abruptly cut off again.  
"But you did kiss or something?" Shizuo would have spit out water, if he had been drinking at that moment.  
"Well, yeah… kind of..." The blonde could just slap himself. _Kind off?!_ Who was he even trying kidding here?! They fucking had sex! There probably wasn't anything more that they could do!  
"Heiwajima-san!" The voice sounded serious all of a sudden and Shizuo gulped. Now he had done it! He told Izaya's father without the raven knowing. What if Shirou disinherited Izaya now? What if he would abandon him? Or worse! What if he would force Shizuo and Izaya to go separated ways?!

The blonde started sweating horribly at the thoughts. Why did he have to deal with this right now? He didn't have time for it!

"Please take good care of my son, Shizuo Heiwajima!"

Shizuo blinked.

What?

A few seconds passed until the words finally made sense in his brain.

Did he just say-?

Take care?

"Huh?" was all his mouth managed to form.

"Please take care of him!" Shirou repeated once again, this time even louder. "I've waited so long for someone honest and brave, who could help Izaya. I know my son is complicated most of the time. Actually even I don't know what's going on in his head sometimes!" A small laughter followed.

Shizuo noticed how the muscles in his shoulders relaxed. He had been quite tensed a minute ago, thinking he had fucked up everything. But now a smile found it's way on his face. Shirou was actually quite the nice guy.

"I know what you mean! I don't know what the flea's talking about in 99% of the time." He replied honestly, earning another laughter from the raven's father.

"I do think, my son means well though. He's just confused and lonely. He needed someone who would take care of him all along."

Shizuo smiled softly. He remembered Izaya's smile, his cute giggling, his soft hands touching and embracing him. It made him happy. The raven made him happy. And the blonde wanted to protect this, the raven's smile and his happiness. And if Shirou gave him the permission, it would be an honor for the blonde to take care of it officially.

"I would love to be the one doing that." He said softly.

"That's great!" Shirou replied sounding honestly happy about the way things turned out. "There's something I need to tell you then about my son..."

The tone in the man's voice changed. It caught Shizuo's curiosity. He just got accepted as his son's lover and now he was immediately introduced to some family secrets, or what? This day couldn't get any better. An ironic grin placed itself on his lips. The talk with Izaya afterwards would be one hell, though he didn't know if it would be in his favor or not.

Right then, Shizuo's eyes fell on a piece of paper on the desk. He hadn't noticed it at first due to his panic. And after that he had been way too relieved to even hear his own thoughts.

One hand on the phone, the other one in his pocket, he approached the neatly folded paper before taking it up.

His eyes scrutinized the writing when Shirou started talking again.

"Do you remember when I asked you, if Izaya was still wearing his rings?"

"Yeah..." he mumbled, not really listening to the question. It was somewhere far away and his brain wouldn't really try to comprehend what the man said, when his eyes fell on the writing that the blonde immediately identified as Izaya's.

"There's a reason for my concern. It's actually quite the unbelievable story. Still I hope, you'll believe me." Shirou started. His voice was full with worry. Shizuo could hear it even through the phone. It was hard concentrating on the man's voice though, when he had to read the raven's notes at the same time.

And then Shizuo's world stopped.

"To make it short: there's a demon inside my son."

His eyes had read a certain line. Telling him that the kidnappers had called and that Izaya was going to them. But his brain kind of didn't proceed it, when he still had Shirou's voice next to his ear. So he read it again, blending out for a second what the man was saying. And then again. And again. His eyes were glued to that part, before his brain was finally sending the words to his brain. And their meaning.

And then it was sending all his energy to his legs. He had read the address on the paper that the raven had left him, and his legs would bring him there faster than a truck. Still the phone in his hand he stormed out of the apartment.

His thoughts were on a roller-coaster. How long had the raven been gone?! How much time had the blonde left?!

Shizuo ran out of the house, against a lot of people on the way. Some were shouting after him to watch out, others, and that was the majority, was going out of his way like always, when they saw how enraged the blonde was. Strangely, he wasn't angry yet. It was rather, that he was desperate and his pulse started pounding hard enough to almost hurt his veins. But just thinking about the kidnappers and the raven getting hurt, made him almost lose control and his vision go white.

"Shizuo, are you still there? Did you hear what I said?" He suddenly heard next to his ear and he was brought back to reality. The phone was still pressed to his head. A miracle that it hadn't been broken by his hand with the tension in his whole body.

His brain started working again. Did he hear what the man had said?

He did right?

Something with a demon?

And then it clicked.

"A demon?!" He shouted, partly to himself in disbelief, partly to answer the man's question.

"Right! I know it sounds strange, but it's true! The rings on his hands are like seals. They are keeping the demon in, as long as Izaya is able to control his feelings." Shirou explained.

Shizuo's eyes widened.

The rings were seals?

Running over the street he almost got hit by a truck again. Just in time he managed to maneuver himself to the side to let the vehicle pass. His breath hitched and he cursed under it, before starting to run again. His legs hurt by now and his lungs were aching horribly. And here, the blonde thought he had been in good shape. He needed Celty and her motorcycle.

"Shizuo, are you alright?" He heard Shirou asked on the other side. The man must have been able to hear the blonde's unsteady breathing and the curses when he had been almost hit by the truck.

"Since when?" Shizuo asked instead of giving a reply.

"Since what?"

"Since when is the demon there?"

"Since his birth actually. It's a long story concerning his mother and some bad blood we had with another woman. Some people would call her a witch, I guess. Normally, Izaya would have been just a doll for the demon. But we had help. A friend gave us the rings as seals, that'd keep the demon inside his body. And it should never come out, as long as Izaya keeps his positive feelings. That's why we taught him to love all humanity. The demon inside him is attracted on negative feelings and feeds on them. Sadness, pain, hate… All of it makes it stronger and rise the danger, that the demon will take control. So we thought, if Izaya loved everyone, then …"

Shirou stopped. The last words had been mere whispers. Shizuo had the feeling Izaya's father was asking for forgiveness for what he had brought over his son. The burden his son was carrying because of him and his mother, because of what they had done. He possibly felt guilty. Did he want Shizuo to understand? To forgive him? The blonde didn't quite know, but either way he wasn't the one who needed to forgive. Izaya should know about this. The raven already knew about the demon anyway! It was Izaya who had to forgive.

All Shizuo would do, was to take care of him! Shirou telling him this, wouldn't change a thing! He would have done it before, and he would do it now!

"It already appeared." The blonde said steadily, while he surrounded another corner.

"What do you mean?" Izaya's father asked after a short hesitation.

"The demon already appeared. This morning, after a nightmare." Shizuo breathed heavily for a second. His body was at the end. Talking and running at the same time was killing him right now, sending painful waves throughout his upper body. "Just tell me, how I get rid of it!"

There was a short pause. The blonde hoped that Shirou didn't just faint on the announcement that the demon was already quite known.

"As long as Izaya keeps emotionally stable, everything should be fine..." Shizuo heard from the other end. It was quiet and sounded rather than an assumption. But apparently, it was the only thing, they knew about how to handle this.

 _So that's it then?_ The blonde thought to himself. Keeping the raven emotionally stable. Right now, this was easier said than done.

He played this over in his head. What would he have to do to fulfill such an easy task? Save the raven's sisters (and the raven himself as it was now) and then bring all of them back home, taking care of the raven not to lose control until the end of his life.

Shizuo would be more than glad to do the second part, but the first one would be quite the struggle. Right now, even if he reached that address in time, he wasn't sure, if he could still walk by then. How could it be that his legs weren't breaking were his knees connected his lower and upper legs?

"Shi...rou..." He said between breaths, sweat running down from his head and covering the display.

"Shizuo, are you okay? You sound weird-" Izaya's father said, but Shizuo almost couldn't hear him anymore. His brain seemed to stop working. Even his vision got blurry. All he could see, was that one point. It was pointing towards his destination. Like a clear line. And he would follow it until the end. He didn't need to see the rest of the world right now. He didn't need to listen to anything. But Shizuo wanted to say this once and for all.

"Leave Izaya to me! I'll take care of him, forever."

The phone clattered to the bottom when his hand let it go. He didn't want to concentrate on the small thing in his hand. He needed all his concentration on the way in front of him. To get faster. To get stronger. This destination would bring him forward.

Shizuo needed to feel it in his whole body. In every fiber. The will to do this, to force his body to do something, that he would never be able to do normally. But his mind was stronger than this weak body, these weak muscles carrying him. Let his bones break, let his muscles crack.

His mind would still carry him to his destination.

This is what losing control felt like.

And then his vision got white.

* * *

 **This chapter was kind of annoying to write to be honest :( It was way too Shizuo centered and I always have the feeling that I can't really write a good Shizuo haha *sob***

 **2 chapters left! I absolutely want to finish this within the next month! *^*** **The next chapter will be from Izaya's point of view and the last one from Shizuo's ;P Beware!**


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